Just because I am cheering for the Dogs, and you happen to be wearing an MSU cap, an MSU t-shirt, jean shorts, and a braided belt, we are not long lost friends. Especially in a city like Memphis. There are thousands of State fans in that city, so it shouldn't be a shock when you see some of us in a bar. Even MSU sports cannot create a common bond between a severely intoxicated 47 year old man and a table of 27 year olds. The obnoxiously loud slandering of the Memphis basketball team, which you directed at the table of roided up, tribal arm banded, backwards hat wearing Memphis fans was not so much a good idea. Should they have acted on their threats to "kick your <17>ing ***" I would have laughed hysterically. Should they have come after me in a mistaken assumption that I was associated with you, I would have run away like a little *****. MSU sports are not worth having my face bashed in. Considering we were outnumbered by a good 250 intoxicated, roid raging dudes and a bunch of ****** wearing press on nails and the fire of ten crack heads fighting over the last rock on earth, I was really, really glad they passed on the opportunity to start brawling and continued to imbibe in preparation for their game.
Also, the rest of the bar emailed me today, and they really want to thank you for running around like a hungry retard chasing a hot dog tied to a cat's back and letting them know that Oregon flopped. Most of them, me included, did not want "<17> Stansbury." Even fewer wanted to do the same to Barry Stewart. They did appreciate the volume of such commands as the patrons outside otherwise would not have been aware of your desire to have them sodomize grown men. On a more personal note, I'm terribly sorry for not barking after you so exuberantly yelled "Whooooooo let those Daaaawwwwwwgs out?" However, I have refrained from such episodes of barking in cadence for quite some time now, and I didn't want to break that streak.
Finally, when you ran out to your car to get your cowbell, you should have passed out in it.
Thank you for making a great game a very awkward and annoying experience.
Sincerely,
A very snobbish and self righteous Seshomoru
A post script for the Memphis fans:
Chill the <17> out. The opinions of barely high school educated people in this country aren't held in high regard, and the fact that you cheer for a number one seeded basketball team does not change that. I realize that Memphis has a quality basketball team, but when I yell, "atta boy Rhodes" after a dunk, it is in no way a slight directed at Joey Dorsey, who you claimed repeatedly "would make Rhodes his *****." Thank you for being you, and making me look like a nobel prize winner by comparison.
Also, the rest of the bar emailed me today, and they really want to thank you for running around like a hungry retard chasing a hot dog tied to a cat's back and letting them know that Oregon flopped. Most of them, me included, did not want "<17> Stansbury." Even fewer wanted to do the same to Barry Stewart. They did appreciate the volume of such commands as the patrons outside otherwise would not have been aware of your desire to have them sodomize grown men. On a more personal note, I'm terribly sorry for not barking after you so exuberantly yelled "Whooooooo let those Daaaawwwwwwgs out?" However, I have refrained from such episodes of barking in cadence for quite some time now, and I didn't want to break that streak.
Finally, when you ran out to your car to get your cowbell, you should have passed out in it.
Thank you for making a great game a very awkward and annoying experience.
Sincerely,
A very snobbish and self righteous Seshomoru
A post script for the Memphis fans:
Chill the <17> out. The opinions of barely high school educated people in this country aren't held in high regard, and the fact that you cheer for a number one seeded basketball team does not change that. I realize that Memphis has a quality basketball team, but when I yell, "atta boy Rhodes" after a dunk, it is in no way a slight directed at Joey Dorsey, who you claimed repeatedly "would make Rhodes his *****." Thank you for being you, and making me look like a nobel prize winner by comparison.
