Buried my father yesterday, with his cowbell. Those of you that have lost your father, how’d you deal? Man this sucks. I have 3 kids that were extremely close to him, and they are beside themselves. It just feels strange. Rusty, his dog won’t eat, sleep, or chase his ball.
Lost a great Dawg
- Thread starter tired
- Start date
Sorry for your loss. I’ve unfortunately lost both of my parents. You definitely never get over it but like with anything time has a way of healing making things easier. Hang in there and love on your kids.
I lost my dad almost 2 years ago. The day after my birthday. The last time I saw him was on my birthday, so my birthday is a very emotional time for me.
At first, it just seemed like he was in the other room and was going to come in and join us any moment. Then, as time kept going on, it became real. A lot of the time, I get busy and don't think about it, but quite frequently, something will happen that I think to myself "I can't wait to talk to dad about this" and then I realize I can't. When he was getting ready to pass away, I read the Lindy's football preview in 2020. I had told him that the first week we had to play LSU and Georgia Tech had to play FSU, but that was a few weeks after we played. When I told him the schedule he said those were almost certain losses. Then, both of our teams won. I watched us beat LSU in his happy place, which I had never been. It was his cabin in Murphy NC.
Another time was when my roommate and I went up to Omaha to watch us beat Texas the first time. On Father's day. When the players started to say Happy Father's Day on the Jumbotron, I got emotional. I also went back for the finals and on the way out called my wife. She asked how I felt ans I told her I wished she was there with me and also that I could talk to my dad about it. He always said he never cared about college baseball, but I bet he would have liked it.
I drive an hour each way to work every day. Lots of times, I talk to him while I'm driving. It's just me so I can say what I've been going through, what I have coming up, or just whatever is on my mind.
I grieve my dad every day, and I know you will yours. That will never go away. But, you can keep him alive by talking about things he said or did. And his sister, my aunt, who has lost an awful lot more than most people in her life told me that one of her keys to dealing is to always use present tense when talking about her son, husband, and others she has lost.
One day,, maybe not today, but one day, you'll be able to tell a funny story without starting to cry or get emotional. That doesn't mean you are over him. It just means he lives on. I can't tell you when that will be, as I dont think I've gotten there yet myself. But it'll happen one day.
Last edited:
I'm sorry. It takes a lot of time especially if they were close to you as and in person. My Dad lived far away but we talked all the time because we were able to bury the hatchet years before he got sick. Sorry again
Lost mine suddenly back in 03. Biggest shot to the guy I've ever had. Biggest advice I can give is don't let anybody tell you how you should grieve or how long. You do what you need to do and you take as long of a time as you think is necessary. These first few days will just be a haze. I woke up for the next several days hoping to find out it was all a bad dream. But then one day down the road you'll go to bed and realize you didn't break down crying that day. It does get easier with time but there will always be things that pop up in your life that trigger a memory and get you in the gut again. But you'll make it through this. Just do it on your terms.
Sorry for you and your family's loss, Tired. I'm already sad about the day my dad won't be here. He's only 68 and I'm 33, so I hope to have many more years left but you never know.
God bless.
God bless.
Lost my dad on October 4, 2014 to cancer, he had just turned 87 years old. He had been cutting up trees and firewood for our elderly neighbor widow just one month before his diagnosis in July. Strong man, generous man that was always helping and giving. Thankfully the progression of his disease was rapid and w/o much pain. He went fast due to the cancer being stage 4 when diagnosed.
He was part of the greatest generation that saved the world, he did his part by serving in the US Army in Japan soon after the fighting stopped.
I'm misty eyed as I type this. Like HBP said, many things can trigger this,,, don't fight it, let the emotions flow and w/ that will come healing because the pain will evolve into happiness due to all the memories you have.
People love to say, " I know how you feel ", as a way to comfort you; well, no they don't. every situation is different.
My dad was my rock, my pillar, my reason for wanting to succeed in life and at least be half the man and father that he was. And he was a BULLDOG, went on the GI Bill. Like many in that day, he married a beautiful Rebel
lady and they stayed happily married until he died.
Losing your dad is one of the most painful things you'll do, but you will endure this. Enjoy your wonderful memories and if it brings a tear to your eyes, so be it. R.I.P. Daddy Tired and my condolences to your family, as well as the rest of you that have lost a parent.
A little more to my story, if Oct 4, 2014 rings a bell, dad died right after the Dogs beat TA&M and the Rebs beat Bama. A thunderstorm had come through Tupelo where he was convalescing early that morning, then the games started up. With his kids and grandkids there at his bedside, it was like he was hanging on until those games were played and finished so we could celebrate together. Indeed we celebrated that day, both for the trivial games, but more importantly for his life.
He was part of the greatest generation that saved the world, he did his part by serving in the US Army in Japan soon after the fighting stopped.
I'm misty eyed as I type this. Like HBP said, many things can trigger this,,, don't fight it, let the emotions flow and w/ that will come healing because the pain will evolve into happiness due to all the memories you have.
People love to say, " I know how you feel ", as a way to comfort you; well, no they don't. every situation is different.
My dad was my rock, my pillar, my reason for wanting to succeed in life and at least be half the man and father that he was. And he was a BULLDOG, went on the GI Bill. Like many in that day, he married a beautiful Rebel
lady and they stayed happily married until he died.
Losing your dad is one of the most painful things you'll do, but you will endure this. Enjoy your wonderful memories and if it brings a tear to your eyes, so be it. R.I.P. Daddy Tired and my condolences to your family, as well as the rest of you that have lost a parent.
A little more to my story, if Oct 4, 2014 rings a bell, dad died right after the Dogs beat TA&M and the Rebs beat Bama. A thunderstorm had come through Tupelo where he was convalescing early that morning, then the games started up. With his kids and grandkids there at his bedside, it was like he was hanging on until those games were played and finished so we could celebrate together. Indeed we celebrated that day, both for the trivial games, but more importantly for his life.
Sorry for your loss. Fathers are special. In my experience, there is no good way to deal with it, but my advice is to grieve...let it out. Don't believe the "suck it up BS". The earlier you actually grieve, the better off you are, but you'll always have triggers that bring the emotion back up.
So sorry for your loss tired. This Saturday will mark the 34 year anniversary of my dad’s death. I am grateful every day that I had him the little time that I did. Stay strong and I pray that you are a man of faith, as that has given me my source of strength and comfort.
Very sorry for your loss. Mine died 26 years ago & it still saddens me when I think of him, even though I know he is in a better place. In my case, the pain lessens with time, but spikes a little when my thoughts turn to him. Over time, those thoughts occur less frequently as distance increases and as life continues with it's usual demands, etc.
Sorry for you loss. Lost My dad in 2018, mom in 2019 and my sister on Tuesday. There is a hole and you will manage to fill it. Think of the good times.
How do you deal? You don't. Remember the good times, it doesn't get better without those memories.
Lost my dad a few years ago unexpectedly. The cancer came back, and he didn’t tell any of us about it until he was in the hospital for the very last time. I was mad at him for awhile, but looking back, it gives me a bittersweet smile, because that’s just the way he was. He didn’t want us worrying about him passing. In hindsight, he was being the selfless, heart of gold, tough old SOB he’d always been.
But anyway, my dad used to love having a glass (or 5) of bourbon during football season. He used to call me and ask if I’d “seen that play” and so on. Sometimes I would miss his call but that didn’t matter, as he would leave a 2 or 3 minute voicemail that was usually hilarious. And they always ended with him telling me that he loved me, something his own father never told him. For some reason I never deleted those voicemails, of which I have a dozen. I had them all transferred to several locations, and can listen to them any time I want. Most of the time I laugh, sometimes I cry. But those recordings might be my most prized possession.
@tired, I’m so sorry for your loss, brother. Like others have said, it gets easier over time, but the hurt never goes away. It sounds like you were really lucky to have him in this world, even for a little while.
But anyway, my dad used to love having a glass (or 5) of bourbon during football season. He used to call me and ask if I’d “seen that play” and so on. Sometimes I would miss his call but that didn’t matter, as he would leave a 2 or 3 minute voicemail that was usually hilarious. And they always ended with him telling me that he loved me, something his own father never told him. For some reason I never deleted those voicemails, of which I have a dozen. I had them all transferred to several locations, and can listen to them any time I want. Most of the time I laugh, sometimes I cry. But those recordings might be my most prized possession.
@tired, I’m so sorry for your loss, brother. Like others have said, it gets easier over time, but the hurt never goes away. It sounds like you were really lucky to have him in this world, even for a little while.
I’m very sorry for your loss. I lost my Daddy (and my best friend) back on July 31, 2006. The local ambulance service called me to let me know that they were responding to a call at my parents’ house, which was literally 1/4 mile away. I just assumed it was my Mama, because she was in poor health-but they told me that, no, it was my Daddy. I jumped in my truck and beat the ambulance there. I ran into the house and found Daddy sitting there in his recliner right beside my Mama. Mama was an RN and she worked as a nurse for many years-and she knew what to do. There was nothing that she could do-one minute Daddy was sitting there talking to her and the next minute he was gone. He had just finished eating a bowl of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream and the next minute he was gone. Mama tried CPR, as I did. He was gray when I got there, and he was still sitting there with his legs crossed. It was as if you just flipped off a light switch and he was gone. Daddy was 80 years old, and he had survived Omaha Beach, Iwo Jima, Okinawa and Korea. His death, while sudden, was a blessing. I believe that he would have said that it was a blessing that he went the way he went.
All I can say is that I will pray for you. Losing your Daddy is tough, and it’s something that people seldom recover from. You will miss the man every day for the rest of your life. I pray that God will bless you as you deal with your grief. May the Lord bless you and your family in the days to come …
So sorry that you have lost your Dad. My father passed away suddenly when I was 14. Worst time of my life. Time will help but the hole in your heart will not be filled. And, that’s OK. Remember the good times.
Sorry for your loss. Dpn't worry about dealing with the loss, Remember him with love and eventually the loss will take care of itself. My Dad has been gone for over ten years now and I still think about him every day or so. It works for me,as my thoughts now are good ones and not painful to deal with. It will get better, maybe not quickly, but it will happen.
You just miss him. Every time State sports does something great/good ( natty in baseball ) you wish you could share it. It's a source of advice that no one can ever replace. On a good note. Losing my Dad let me know that my boys need and will need me as much as anyone. And reminded me of the things he did well and not so well and how to apply both lessons to my sons. It's tough dude. The edge will dull but not completely as time goes on. Very sorry for your loss. It's a big one.
Really sorry, man. A couple years ago, my dad and I were sitting in my living room watching a State baseball game, and out of nowhere, it just suddenly hit me how we'd been doing that for 30 years and I really hated that it was now a once or twice a year thing instead of every weekend like when I was growing up. I guess I just never realized how much those moments meant to me, but I can only imagine that a lot of y'all on this board could say the same about your old man.
I haven't had to go through what you're going through yet, but I can appreciate the pain, and I hope that the coming days will somehow ease it.
I haven't had to go through what you're going through yet, but I can appreciate the pain, and I hope that the coming days will somehow ease it.
Sorry for your loss. As others have said, just find a way to get through however that is for you. Anytime you feel emotional thinking of him, don’t fight it and embrace the moment. You’re going to have many different emotions come over you as your remember your life with him. Disturbed came out with an incredible song that I play when I want to remember my dad, Hold on to the Memories. Give it a listen. The words are so perfect. As you may know, my dad passed in 2020. Father’s Day will always be a hard day but a very grateful day because of our Omaha trip and everything that came after. Best advice I can give is just to make sure you make as big an impact on your kids as he did in yours.