You have definitely come to the right place. Our team will be awake shortly to assist you.
Just have a seat in our waiting room, I put a pot of strange brew coffee on go…help yourself to the Dales injected Mole Cricket puff pastries.
A few questions to better help our team zero in on your situation:
1. How obese are the potential riders? Are we talking Kawasaki Bayou 220 or Big Bear 750?
2. Do the riders plan on participating in travel together?…..or can we let the male rider enjoy 7 seconds of peace and quiet during the daily transition
3. Do potential riders intend on traveling up/down more than north south?
4. Our Talking Heads Music Package is on sale at the moment; I love Lamp, Burning Down the House and Stop making Sense, included.
A little about our team:
Goat: Senior 17Up Specialist
Specializes in reaching the peaks of our production. He stays as high as humanly possible 25 hours a day, 8 days a week. With 17 years of experience, our customers will never be disappointed with his high tech approach and black and white troubleshooting mindset. In fact, He already has his mind made up before ever stepping foot into a customers query. Will lead you in one direction, his.
Ol Blue: Downward Spiral Specialist
Leads the industry with the irrigation of doubt and disparity with loose traction that rivals only Debbie. Unwavering negative energy that will leave you breathless, tasteless and lifeless during every decent. You can rest easy on the way down knowing Ol Blue is right there with you. He has been wished to hell over 30,000 times by our satisfied customers throughout his illustrious career. Also specializes in eating schitt, per reviews.
Lucifer MorningStar: Basement Specialist
Speaking of fire and brimstone, meet our bottom dweller, Lucifer. Arriving below the surface level of life can sometimes be overwhelming….but rest easy, you can’t get lower than Hell. If his quirky sense of humor doesn’t put fire in your belly, he will win you over with his relentless approach of warming your bones. Wind rain sleet or snow, he keeps your spirits toasty and the holy ghost at bay. On call 365 days a year. If he doesn’t answer his primary phone, not to fear….dial his office in downtown Jackson MS, the closet to hell you can possibly get…as he works remote bimonthly.