Special holiday Darwin Award winner.

dog99walker

Well-known member
Jul 16, 2021
905
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Alcohol and men; some don’t survive the mix. His wife tried to stop him. Hopefully, there was insurance.
 

eckie1

Well-known member
Jun 23, 2007
3,241
2,377
113
Not throwing shade, but this isn’t funny to me. At all. Dumb bastard just widowed his wife because he’s dumb AF.
 

Anon1704414204

Well-known member
Jan 4, 2024
880
727
93
What the hell was he shooting?

This what I'm wondering. I was holding a Roman Candle once and instead of 4 or 5 shots into the air the whole thing exploded in my hand. Hurt like a SOB but no serious injury. I
On a side note, I once thought I knew what a M-80 was till I bought one in China Town NYC. Set it off outside a restaurant in an aluminum soda can and ended up clearing out 1/2 the customers. I was gone fast though cuz it scared the schit outta me too. (Cuz I didn't wanna go to jail; would not have done it had I known how loud and powerful they are.)
 
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  • Haha
Reactions: BulldogBlitz
Aug 3, 2011
605
65
28
Technically speaking it is necessary to die to receive a Darwin award.

Darwin Awards: Evolutionary Action
I thought castration also counts. I remember an old cassette tape that was full of Darwin Awards before that 1000 Ways to Die show was on. There was one “winner” that hastily shoved lobster in his pants trying to frantically get away from shoplifting in a grocery store. He was no longer able to reproduce after.
 

mstateglfr

Well-known member
Feb 24, 2008
13,466
3,379
113
Fireworks- anything besides use in official shows is 17ing dumb.

It's muh freedom, it's muh rights, blah blah.
Home fireworks are unimpressive displays, annoying to all others not involved, and I'm guessing account for 99% of fireworks injuries.

Just go watch actual professional fireworks and be happy.
 

Herbert Nenninger

Active member
Feb 9, 2019
458
393
63
I recall an old Darwin Award of a guy who died from his own flatulence. Apparently he had a diet so concentrated in cabbage and lettuce and such that his farts literally became toxic. Apparently even a few of the first responders got sick after going into his house.
Side note: this was 30+ years ago. I have never eaten cabbage since.
 

L4Dawg

Well-known member
Oct 27, 2016
6,245
3,480
113
I recall an old Darwin Award of a guy who died from his own flatulence. Apparently he had a diet so concentrated in cabbage and lettuce and such that his farts literally became toxic. Apparently even a few of the first responders got sick after going into his house.
Side note: this was 30+ years ago. I have never eaten cabbage since.
I remember non-fatal one for a guy who was in a group of drunks on a golf course. They came across a ball washer, and yep, that's what he did.
 

Anon1704414204

Well-known member
Jan 4, 2024
880
727
93
Fireworks- anything besides use in official shows is 17ing dumb.

It's muh freedom, it's muh rights, blah blah.
Home fireworks are unimpressive displays, annoying to all others not involved, and I'm guessing account for 99% of fireworks injuries.

Just go watch actual professional fireworks and be happy.
Bottle Rocket battles are fun and would advise trying.
 

pseudonym

Well-known member
Oct 6, 2022
2,485
3,550
113
Fireworks- anything besides use in official shows is 17ing dumb.

It's muh freedom, it's muh rights, blah blah.
Home fireworks are unimpressive displays, annoying to all others not involved, and I'm guessing account for 99% of fireworks injuries.

Just go watch actual professional fireworks and be happy.
Are you saying they should be illegal?
 

maroonmadman

Well-known member
Nov 7, 2010
2,420
541
113
I thought castration also counts. I remember an old cassette tape that was full of Darwin Awards before that 1000 Ways to Die show was on. There was one “winner” that hastily shoved lobster in his pants trying to frantically get away from shoplifting in a grocery store. He was no longer able to reproduce after.
He should at least receive an 'Honorable Mention' Darwin award or a participation trophy.
 

mstateglfr

Well-known member
Feb 24, 2008
13,466
3,379
113
Bottle Rocket battles are fun and would advise trying.
One of my best friends growing up had a dad that was a fireman. That guy used to drive to the state line, buy a bunch of fireworks, and put on a show.
We always tried to steal some early,go to a park, and fire em at one another- bottle rockets and roman candles.

It was a blast...because nobody got hurt.
 

mstateglfr

Well-known member
Feb 24, 2008
13,466
3,379
113
Are you saying they should be illegal?
They were illegal in my state up until about 2018.
Somehow, people had fun in and around the 4th, even without fireworks.
Now?...it's like 17ing Mogadishu for 14 straight nights.

I liked it more when they were illegal. Now that they are legal, I just look around and wonder why people get excited to buy them when the displays are almost always pretty 17ing lame.

I am not saying they should be illegal. At this point I view fireworks like Temptation Island- I don't know why it's appealing, but if it makes people happy and they don't impact anyone I know, then enjoy your version of fun.
One caveat- setting em off in a neighborhood past 11pm is just straight douche territory.
 

garddog

Member
Dec 10, 2008
750
83
28
One of my best friends growing up had a dad that was a fireman. That guy used to drive to the state line, buy a bunch of fireworks, and put on a show.
We always tried to steal some early,go to a park, and fire em at one another- bottle rockets and roman candles.

It was a blast...because nobody got hurt.
So what's good for the goose.....
 

mstateglfr

Well-known member
Feb 24, 2008
13,466
3,379
113
So what's good for the goose.....
I don't follow.
We were dummies and are simply lucky we weren't hurt...unlike how most unplanned things would end for us.

Are you saying since it was good for us it's good for others now? If so, how was it good for us?
 

IBleedMaroonDawg

Well-known member
Nov 12, 2007
23,106
7,119
113
I have one neighbor who always puts on a big show and he is very conscientious with his fireworks. Nobody on my street shoots late at night and they all usually watch what they're doing. However, some new folks on the street over, shooting a ton of fireworks. They did fire overhead and I found three or four rockets that had been fallen in the yard.

They still haven't shot nearly as much as I did when I was younger. Now days I just sit on the porch and watch the shows. The nicest thing is it doesn't cost me anything to watch. One of these days, I want to go to the lake in downtown Austin and watch one of the big shows from a boat. They say it is really a good show.
 
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40mikemike

Active member
Sep 29, 2022
178
408
63
They were illegal in my state up until about 2018.
Somehow, people had fun in and around the 4th, even without fireworks.
Now?...it's like 17ing Mogadishu for 14 straight nights.

I liked it more when they were illegal. Now that they are legal, I just look around and wonder why people get excited to buy them when the displays are almost always pretty 17ing lame.

I am not saying they should be illegal. At this point I view fireworks like Temptation Island- I don't know why it's appealing, but if it makes people happy and they don't impact anyone I know, then enjoy your version of fun.
One caveat- setting em off in a neighborhood past 11pm is just straight douche territory.
You are an absolute wet blanket and a douche.
 

mstateglfr

Well-known member
Feb 24, 2008
13,466
3,379
113
One caveat- setting em off in a neighborhood past 11pm is just straight douche territory.
You are an absolute wet blanket and a douche.

...but I am not setting them off in a neighborhood past 11pm.

Funny takeaway here- apparently douches are people that set em off in a neighborhood past 11pm AND people who dont understand the appeal of crappy home lit fireworks displays and dislike them being set off late at night in neighborhoods.
Well everyone is a douche then.**


I wouldnt have figured it would be controversial to say its annoying to hear fireworks on a random Monday night at midnight, multiple days before the 4th. It wakes parents up, wakes and scares small kids, stresses dogs, etc. Oh well.
 

johnson86-1

Well-known member
Aug 22, 2012
12,231
2,453
113
Fireworks- anything besides use in official shows is 17ing dumb.

It's muh freedom, it's muh rights, blah blah.
Home fireworks are unimpressive displays, annoying to all others not involved, and I'm guessing account for 99% of fireworks injuries.

Just go watch actual professional fireworks and be happy.
Fireworks are like guns. They are safe enough if you're not a dubmass but always dangerous. Probably harder to avoid minor injuries with fireworks but much easier to avoid fatal injuries.

I would love to just not do fireworks with my kids because it doesn't do anything for me and it's stressful, but I do it partly because they love it but more because we live in an area where I know other kids will have access and be idiots with them. At least doing it with them gives me the opportunity to teach them about how dangerous they are. I'd like to think most people lighting fireworks in their hands and then throwing them would stop if they saw pictures of disfigured hands from doing just that. And I was around lots of people growing up that thought it was funny to light a firework and throw it into a group. Not anything like an M-80, but still things that would absolutely burn the **** out of somebody and/or take a chunk of flesh off it happened to explode right against somebody.
 

Darryl Steight

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2022
1,702
2,565
113
Alcohol and men; some don’t survive the mix. His wife tried to stop him. Hopefully, there was insurance.
Not accusing her, because this dude was obviously inebriated, but this would be a hell of a way for a wife to off her husband and get off scot free.

"Here honey, let's see if you're man enough to light this one on your hat"
 

Anon1704414204

Well-known member
Jan 4, 2024
880
727
93
I don't follow.
We were dummies and are simply lucky we weren't hurt...unlike how most unplanned things would end for us.

Are you saying since it was good for us it's good for others now? If so, how was it good for us?
Did you have fun or are those
One of my best friends growing up had a dad that was a fireman. That guy used to drive to the state line, buy a bunch of fireworks, and put on a show.
We always tried to steal some early,go to a park, and fire em at one another- bottle rockets and roman candles.

It was a blast...because nobody got hurt.

I don't follow.
We were dummies and are simply lucky we weren't hurt...unlike how most unplanned things would end for us.

Are you saying since it was good for us it's good for others now? If so, how was it good for us?
Of course it was good for y'all cuz y'all had FUN. You know, FUN? You liked it better when they were illegal? It's not like living in the hood with drive-bys going on 24/7. Let people let loose a few times a year.
 
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