The DOCTOR is "IN" tonight if you need her!
- Thread starter TheGlovStillRules
- Start date
Let’s hope Lucy can help CJF. His Psych degree may be necessary at the Tuesday press conference if this doesn’t go well
I was hoping for a picture of a hot porn doctor and I got Lucy 
LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO POST JOKES WITHOUT STARTING A NEW THREAD.
THOUGHT THIS MIGHT BE A GOOD THREAD SINCE IT STARTED WITH A JOKE
Step
My son got sent home from school today. He had been suspended for running around the girls toilets with his privates hanging out. Seems he had done it for a bet.
Suspension seemed to be a bit harsh, so I rang the headmaster to explain that it was just a bit of tomfoolery gone too far. However, he was having none of it & stuck by the suspension. Getting a bit peeved, I asked him if he would rather have him thieving & smashing the school up like others I could mention.
"No", he said, "I would rather have him teaching the year 5 chemistry that he is paid to do".
@BobPSU92
They say that during s*x you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?
Nurses
Nurses aren't supposed to laugh...
"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen. In length and width was almost identical to a AAA battery.
Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out. And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's part, she composed herself as well as she could. "I am so sorry," she said.. "I do not know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise that will not happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"
"It is swollen," Bob replied.
This photo was taken at an Elvis Presley concert in 1975. The singer found out that there was a blind girl in the hall who was in love with his songs, and asked his manager to bring her to the stage. When the girl went up on stage, Elvis knelt in front of her.
- I heard that you really like my songs, baby?
- Yes, sir. I listen to them every night before I go to bed.
When the concert ended, Presley paid for the girl's vision restoration operation.
THOUGHT THIS MIGHT BE A GOOD THREAD SINCE IT STARTED WITH A JOKE
Step
My son got sent home from school today. He had been suspended for running around the girls toilets with his privates hanging out. Seems he had done it for a bet.
Suspension seemed to be a bit harsh, so I rang the headmaster to explain that it was just a bit of tomfoolery gone too far. However, he was having none of it & stuck by the suspension. Getting a bit peeved, I asked him if he would rather have him thieving & smashing the school up like others I could mention.
"No", he said, "I would rather have him teaching the year 5 chemistry that he is paid to do".
@BobPSU92
They say that during s*x you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds?
Nurses
Nurses aren't supposed to laugh...
"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen. In length and width was almost identical to a AAA battery.
Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out. And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's part, she composed herself as well as she could. "I am so sorry," she said.. "I do not know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise that will not happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"
"It is swollen," Bob replied.
This photo was taken at an Elvis Presley concert in 1975. The singer found out that there was a blind girl in the hall who was in love with his songs, and asked his manager to bring her to the stage. When the girl went up on stage, Elvis knelt in front of her.
- I heard that you really like my songs, baby?
- Yes, sir. I listen to them every night before I go to bed.
When the concert ended, Presley paid for the girl's vision restoration operation.
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Not a joke.....
This is my wife Jessica having dinner after a 14 hour day.
She comes home from work, has enough time to eat and get ready for bed and it’s back to work the next day for another shift. She is up early to get ready for her day. She doesn’t like to be bothered in the morning and I respect that. She showers throws her hair up, grabs her lunch gives the dog and me a kiss, and heads out the door.
At work, she takes care of people who are having the worst days of their lives. Strokes, Car accidents, motorcycle accidents, falls, breaks, brain damage, and more. She takes care of mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends, and families. It doesn’t matter who you are or what happened. She will take care of you.
She works through lunch and rarely has time to sit. She comes home after 14 hours, takes off her shoes that have walked through blood and tears, and just wants to sit down. I don’t ask her about her day because She doesn’t like to talk about work when she is home and that’s fine.
If she does want to talk, I will listen. Sometimes she comes home happy and sometimes she comes home sad. But no matter how she feels, she is always on time for her next shift.
I love her with all my heart. My wife is my hero. My wife is a Stroke Nurse.
Credit: Philip Urtz
This is my wife Jessica having dinner after a 14 hour day.
She comes home from work, has enough time to eat and get ready for bed and it’s back to work the next day for another shift. She is up early to get ready for her day. She doesn’t like to be bothered in the morning and I respect that. She showers throws her hair up, grabs her lunch gives the dog and me a kiss, and heads out the door.
At work, she takes care of people who are having the worst days of their lives. Strokes, Car accidents, motorcycle accidents, falls, breaks, brain damage, and more. She takes care of mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends, and families. It doesn’t matter who you are or what happened. She will take care of you.
She works through lunch and rarely has time to sit. She comes home after 14 hours, takes off her shoes that have walked through blood and tears, and just wants to sit down. I don’t ask her about her day because She doesn’t like to talk about work when she is home and that’s fine.
If she does want to talk, I will listen. Sometimes she comes home happy and sometimes she comes home sad. But no matter how she feels, she is always on time for her next shift.
I love her with all my heart. My wife is my hero. My wife is a Stroke Nurse.
Credit: Philip Urtz
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I don’t know. This was 3 months ago. Ask the board members, CJF has probably screwed up 500 things since then!
I scrolled all the way back to the opening thread to see how this started…..interesting and a little frightening. 
OFFS. Many in this generation must be mutations from humans born in the 1900's, with the unbelievably thin skin they seem to be inflicted with.
When subs or ships sink, at what depth does the human body implode or blow up?
When a submarine hull fails at its crush depth, the first crack propagates at the speed of sound in steel (or whatever the hull is made from; titanium is also used). The crack reaches its maximum width in a tiny fraction of a second.
The surrounding water, under hundreds of tonnes per square metre pressure, rushes in immediately at speeds of hundreds of metres a second, compressing the air in the submarine. The rising pressure heats the air ahead of the water, so that it can reach the ignition temperature of many burnable substances.
The wreck of the USS Scorpion
In the case of the USS Scorpion, which sank in 1968, the hull failed at 470m depth (a pressure of ~47 atmospheres). By the time the compressed air in the hull reached equilibrium pressure with the inrushing water, it had been raised to a temperature of roughly 600°C (1100°F). Paper will burn at around 230°C (~450°F), for example.
However, any burning that occurred would have been quenched by the inrushing water in less than a tenth of a second, so whether this would have counted as an explosion, I’ll leave to others to argue about.
Being hit by a mass of water moving at 900 metres a second (2,000 mph) will count as “crushing” by most people’s definitions, I think. Merely falling into water at a human being’s terminal velocity in air (about 130 mph) will break most bones in a human, and rip internal organs from their accustomed positions, so a wall of water moving at 2,000 mph should do at least as much damage.
Mercifully, the crew die faster than their nervous systems function.
So, the short version is that the human body may both explode and be crushed at the crush depth of their submarine; consult your operator’s manual for details.
Sharing stuff like this will make you popular with some people at parties and annoy others. Kind of like sports and politics. Heavy drinkers and chemical abusers won’t care one way or the other.
When a submarine hull fails at its crush depth, the first crack propagates at the speed of sound in steel (or whatever the hull is made from; titanium is also used). The crack reaches its maximum width in a tiny fraction of a second.
The surrounding water, under hundreds of tonnes per square metre pressure, rushes in immediately at speeds of hundreds of metres a second, compressing the air in the submarine. The rising pressure heats the air ahead of the water, so that it can reach the ignition temperature of many burnable substances.
The wreck of the USS Scorpion
In the case of the USS Scorpion, which sank in 1968, the hull failed at 470m depth (a pressure of ~47 atmospheres). By the time the compressed air in the hull reached equilibrium pressure with the inrushing water, it had been raised to a temperature of roughly 600°C (1100°F). Paper will burn at around 230°C (~450°F), for example.
However, any burning that occurred would have been quenched by the inrushing water in less than a tenth of a second, so whether this would have counted as an explosion, I’ll leave to others to argue about.
Being hit by a mass of water moving at 900 metres a second (2,000 mph) will count as “crushing” by most people’s definitions, I think. Merely falling into water at a human being’s terminal velocity in air (about 130 mph) will break most bones in a human, and rip internal organs from their accustomed positions, so a wall of water moving at 2,000 mph should do at least as much damage.
Mercifully, the crew die faster than their nervous systems function.
So, the short version is that the human body may both explode and be crushed at the crush depth of their submarine; consult your operator’s manual for details.
Sharing stuff like this will make you popular with some people at parties and annoy others. Kind of like sports and politics. Heavy drinkers and chemical abusers won’t care one way or the other.
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I thought this was pretty cool to post....
Was Andre the Giant as tall as he appears on The Princess Bride, or did they just cast shorter actors to make him seem taller?
This is Andre visiting the set of Conan the Destroyer (sequel to Conan the Barbarian). He had an uncredited role in the film as a monster. In the middle is Arnold Schwarzenegger. His official height during those days was 6’1 1/2”, confirmed by his previous body building competition measurements.
To the left is NBA legend Wilt Chamberlain. His official height during that time was 7’1”.
Andre was listed as 7’4”. Now, Wilt is wearing wardrobe boots that may have lifted him up a couple inches. It appears in the above picture that Wilt is the same height as Andre, or slightly taller. It could be because of those boots or the angle. Here’s another picture of the three.
Andre did have major back issues, so his younger official height may be taller than he was during this time when he was struggling with back issues. I am betting that Wilt’s boots made him even taller than he really was.
Regardless, yes, he was very, very tall. His height was the result of gigantism caused by extensive growth hormone. Here is a picture that will give you a little more perspective of his size.
Here is a photo from The Princess Bride.
Please follow The Tao of Screenwriting/Movies/TV for more fun Movie/TV discussions,
Was Andre the Giant as tall as he appears on The Princess Bride, or did they just cast shorter actors to make him seem taller?
This is Andre visiting the set of Conan the Destroyer (sequel to Conan the Barbarian). He had an uncredited role in the film as a monster. In the middle is Arnold Schwarzenegger. His official height during those days was 6’1 1/2”, confirmed by his previous body building competition measurements.
To the left is NBA legend Wilt Chamberlain. His official height during that time was 7’1”.
Andre was listed as 7’4”. Now, Wilt is wearing wardrobe boots that may have lifted him up a couple inches. It appears in the above picture that Wilt is the same height as Andre, or slightly taller. It could be because of those boots or the angle. Here’s another picture of the three.
Andre did have major back issues, so his younger official height may be taller than he was during this time when he was struggling with back issues. I am betting that Wilt’s boots made him even taller than he really was.
Regardless, yes, he was very, very tall. His height was the result of gigantism caused by extensive growth hormone. Here is a picture that will give you a little more perspective of his size.
Here is a photo from The Princess Bride.
Please follow The Tao of Screenwriting/Movies/TV for more fun Movie/TV discussions,
I completely disagree that it's the kids that have the problem. They were taught this.
Oh I agree that the kids are heavily influenced, my intent with "this generation" wasn't just kids. I've seen it first hand from a couple "assignments" my high school son has brought home-- would love to share examples of the utter lunacy. But I could very quickly devolve this into a political discussion so I guess I'll leave it at that.
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