*Here come the Putin jokes*
When Putin was late for school, the teacher punished the whole class for being early.
When Putin's phone rings in the theater, they pause the movie.
Doctor: "You have Cancer".
Putin: "Tell it, it has two weeks to live".
When Putin looks in the mirror, there's no reflection because there is only 1 Putin.
When Putin was born, he named his parents.
Russia didn't choose him, he chose Russia.
Putin Arriving at Foreign Country's Airport:
Customs Officer: "Occupation?"
Putin: "No, just visiting."
Putin calls 911 to ask what is their emergency.
Putin built the hospital in which he was born.
This guy never flushes the toilet, he just scares the **** out of it.
When Putin was born, he slapped the doctor for not crying.
When Putin didn't go to school, the school declared it a Holiday.
Stop calling him Russian James Bond. James Bond is British Vladimir Putin.
When Putin creates an account, the terms and conditions agree with him.
When Putin coughs, Covid wears a mask.