Calvin Ridley discusses mental health battle preceding gambling incident, suspension

One day after his reinstatement from suspension, new Jacksonville Jaguars receiver Calvin Ridley released a “Letter to the Game” via the Players’ Tribune. In his letter, the former Falcons star opens up about his physical and mental struggles, leading up to the fateful bet that landed him a suspension for an entire season.

After playing with an unknowingly broken foot in the 2020 season and having his house burglarized by several armed men that offseason, the then-depressed NFL star placed three multi-leg parlays for $1,500 in an attempt to “take his mind off things.”

“That’s when I really just started to feel the weight of the world on my chest,” Ridley described of his depression. “I didn’t have the words for what I was experiencing yet. It felt like I was getting attacked — but almost by something invisible. It’s like I’m getting hit in my chest, 24/7, by somebody I can’t see. “

Receiving the call from NFL investigators, Ridley said that day was probably the worst of his life. He says he had no intention to disrespect the game or profit off of inside information.

“I just f***ed up. Period,” Ridley wrote. “In a dark moment, I made a stupid mistake. I wasn’t trying to cheat the game. That’s the thing I want to make clear. At the time, I had been completely away from the team for about a month. I was still just so depressed and angry, and the days were so long. I was looking for anything to take my mind off of things and make the day go by faster.”

Ridley envisions path to redemption in Jacksonville

The former Alabama first-rounder saw a therapist to work through issues with his past and the problems in his present – mainly, the perceptions of others following his suspension.

“People have questioned my toughness and my character,” Ridley said. “But I don’t think most of those people could’ve lived the life I lived and even made it off the porch, let alone made it to the NFL.”

A story only the wideout himself could tell, he laid out his troubled upbringing and the journey he embarked on to the NFL. A former ward of the foster care system, Ridley developed his love for the game at an early age. The happiness that he felt playing football then is the same happiness he feels on the field today. Fully healthy, Ridley is ready to give the Jaguars his all.

“Right now, I feel stronger than I’ve ever felt —  mentally and physically,” Ridley wrote. “On the field, I’m flying. Believe me, I’m flying. That GPS band don’t lie. On my daughter’s name, if I’m healthy? With Trevor Lawrence? I’m giving Jacksonville 1,400 yards a season, period.”

Ridley is on a mission to bury the barbs and jokes about his gambling and suspension. The 28-year-old still has plenty of opportunities to do so, starting this offseason in Jacksonville.

“I know I have a debt to pay back to the game,” Ridley said. “But when y’all talk about the name Calvin Ridley in 10, 20, 30 years … I’m gonna make sure it rings out for the right reasons.”