6 Side Effects of the Pursuit of Perfection

Don't get me wrong: I am enjoying the hell out of this season. Starting with the tournament last year, the Kentucky fan base has been on the ride of our lives. An unexpected postseason run, players coming back, the Bahamas trip, and being #1 every single week has the BBN spoiled rotten, and through the Louisville game, it seemed like life couldn't be better for Kentucky fans; however, as the wins continue to accumulate, I'd argue the mood has shifted a little bit. After a few close calls and routine routs, the remainder of conference play stretches before us with the SEC Tournament far off in the distance as a glittering reminder of when shit gets real. Over the past few weeks, I've noticed I've developed some new patterns. Side effects of the run, if you will. Read along and see if you recognize any of them.

1. The anxiety of being undefeated

40-0 is like the last brownie on the plate in the break room. No matter how much you try to avoid it or pretend you're not thinking about it, it dominates your thoughts. Yes, Kentucky almost lost to Ole Miss and Texas A&M and oh my God, did it humble us. For like a day. Be real: you're still thinking about it. I'm still thinking about it. As much as they deny it, I can guarantee you the players are still thinking about it. The dream of going undefeated lingers over the Commonwealth like a high, wispy cloud; for now, it's up there, not really bothering anyone yet, but as the season goes on and the Cats keep winning, it will grow and grow, until the point that when we reach the tournament, it's this angry storm cloud that sends out bolts of anxiety every few hours. If UK is still undefeated come tournament time, this isn't going to be like last season; there will be no unexpected outbursts of joy when we "upset" Wichita State. Beating Louisville will not just be the cherry on top. Each game will be torture, full of held breaths, high blood pressure, and quiet fist pumps until the very end, when we either cry (happy or sad) or just combust from the sheer stress of it all.

2. The nonstop internal debate: Who will beat us?

Whenever the topic of going undefeated comes up, I find myself going through the schedule to figure out who's going to beat us. Let's do it together this time:

• at Missouri: Another game in a hostile road environ---whatever, we beat them by 49 two weeks ago, we will roll
• Alabama: A team that could really catch us off gua---whatever, we beat them by 22 in Tuscaloosa, we will roll
• Georgia: They're ranked 27th in KenPom, could be a really tough--It's in Rupp, not worried
• at Florida: Always tough to play Florida at Florida--but they keep losing!
• at LSU: Lost to them last year on the road--okay, mildly concerned about this one
• South Carolina: Kept Kentucky on the ropes for a bit--LOL, whatever. We roll
• at Tennessee: Could be a tough road game...if Tennessee was actually good
• Auburn: Bruce Pearl! ...ain't gonna beat us on the night we retire Tony Delk's jersey
• at Mississippi State: Hostile road env--haha, no way. 
• Arkansas: Qualls is a legit, they beat us twice last year. ...slightly concerned about this one, but not really since it's in Rupp
• at Georgia: Legit team in a hostile road environment...has me mildly concerned about this one as well.  
• Florida: Florida always plays us hard and Billy Donovan is a great coa---pfft, like we're going to lose on Sam Malone, Brian Long, and Tod Lanter's senior night
• SEC Tournament: You never know what will happen! Look at the 2012 SEC Championship. Please, like we're going to lose what will basically be three straight home games
• NCAA Tournament: Anything can happen. Look at 2010. Too close to destiny, they will not lose.

3. Nitpicking/Finding things to worry about

With each win, Kentucky fans have less and less to complain about, which can be very disorienting for a fan base that thrives on criticism. Therefore, topics like how much playing time Derek Willis, our 11th man, gets dominate the conversation. People who don't vote for Kentucky in the AP or Coaches' polls become targets and for possibly the first time ever, we find ways to be angry at computerized rankings like the RPI. (How do they rank Kansas over Kentucky?! That computer is drunk.) Jerry Tipton is so desperate for something to criticize that he's picking on little, lovable Ryan Lemond. The thing they don't tell you about being perfect is that sometimes, it's kind of boring.

4. Ennui of the SEC slate

Maybe it's because we started the season in such a world-crushing manner, beating Kansas so soundly that the BBN collapsed in a collective ball of giggles on the living room floor. Maybe it's because we survived the emotionally-draining annual thumping of Louisville. Maybe it's because otherwise horrible SEC teams turn it on and try to hack the ever-living pulp out of Kentucky and still can't beat us. Whatever the reason, UK's recent games have been, well, kind of boring. I hate to say it, but the lack of legit competition is making the SEC slate drag on. Aside from maaaaybe Florida at Florida or Arkansas, there aren't very many "sexy" games coming up. I'd ask "Is it March 13 yet," but that defeats my next point...

5. Worrying you're not in the moment enough

We make fun of Calipari for running some phrases in the ground, but if there's one phrase we've parroted since March, it's been "cherish this." Because it's true. Seasons like this don't just grow on trees, and odds are a good number of these players will be gone after this season. I'm constantly worried I'm not "in the moment" enough this year. Cherishing wins like Kansas, UCLA, North Carolina, and Louisville were easy, but cherishing a win over, say, South Carolina, is a little less glamorous. "Remember that sick bounce pass from Tyler Ulis to Devin Booker? Man. That was beautiful." By tournament time, I may just need to strap a GoPro to my head to capture it all.

6. Waiting for the other shoe to drop

Maybe it's just the world we live in or maybe I'm just a cynic, but I'm a firm believer in "the other shoe." Things just can't go well all of the time. That's not reality. So, in a season made of sunshine, brotherhood, and Devin Booker smiles, I've found myself waiting for the other shoe to drop. Can you blame me? I'm a Kentucky fan. I've seen some things. Maybe Alex Poythress' injury was the other shoe and now we're in the clear. Maybe me writing this article is the other shoe and the Cats will lose the next game just because. God, I hope that's not the case. If so, it's been nice knowing you all.