A Kentucky Sports Radio Guide To Last Minute Halloween Costumes

Halloween is just around the corner, and if you’re anything like I remember you Lexington, you’re celebrating both this weekend and the next.  While Halloween is easily the most fun holiday to experience as a college student or young adult, there’s only one problem – putting together a legitimate costume last minute.  Unfortunately not all of you are blessed with the physique and hair to pull off a Brian Scalabrine costume like I will be this year, but don’t let that get you down.  I’m here to give you nine (for the number of championships we will have in less than six months) options to pick from, most of which will be easy to throw together, so you can reap the benefits of Halloween parties with minimal effort.

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Willie Cauley-Stein

Costume:  Headband, Hipster Glasses, Bag of Candy.

Character notes:  Wouldn’t help to be stylish and a little quirky.  Maybe bring a crowbar, because you never know when the zombie apocalypse will happen.

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Harrison Twins

Costume:  Metallic suit, stone cold stares, preferably someone who will walk silently with you and destroy other party goers souls.

Character notes:  I think I might have been describing the cousins from Breaking Bad, but let’s be real – the scariest thing opposing teams will see this year won’t be goblins or ghouls, it’s going to be Andrew and Aaron Harrison.

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Billy Gillispie

Costume: Jacket and loosed tie, bottle of jack, giant buyout check.

Character notes:  Sure the costume is a little dated – but you waited until the night before.  It’s a cop out, but if you’ve got a friend with a mustache and running shoes, you’ve got two costumes down in the matter of minutes.

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Za’darius Smith

Costume:  The dreadlocks from a predator mask, Beats by Dre headphones, the willingness to seek and destroy anyone wearing the wrong colors at every party.

Character notes:  Throw a football jersey in there too, if you want people to know who you are.  But I’m sure they’ll get the picture after you sack random pedestrians all night.  Even better if you bring our own cheering section with you.

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Jorts

Costume:  Pretty obvious here… Jorts.  A basketball would be nice, too.

Character notes:  Just be a good guy, and you’ve pretty much got Jorts down.  For bonus points, hang out in a bathroom for twenty minutes at some point in the night, and then throw basketballs as guys wearing red.

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Clay Travis

Costume:  Vols t-shirt, patchy beard, over inflated sense of self worth.

Character notes:  Whatever you do, make sure people are noticing you at all times.  If you have to come in to a party and immediately label a large majority of the party goers as the stupidest party goers in the country, do it.  If you need to drum up allegations about where people got their costumes from, do it.  This is your night, and people need to know what you think about it.

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Tom Jurich

Costume:  Black pullover, smarmy grin, friends who can’t tell the truth.

Character notes:  It helps if you hide during most of the party, only to pop out when your friends are in trouble and find ways to get them off the hook – also helps if you sell alcohol wherever you go. (Disclaimer: KSR does not endorse the reselling of beverages, whether they be alcoholic or of another variety).

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Mississippi State Ref

Costume: Black and white striped shirt, Microphone, Yellow flag.

Character notes: Pick one person early on in your Halloween festivities, and make sure to throw the flag on them when they do things that everyone else is already doing.

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Julius Randle

Costume: Basketball Shorts, Basketball Shoes, Infectious Smile.

Character notes:  If you want to be Julius, skip Halloween and go to the gym.  Basketball season is coming.

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Feel free to add your own costume ideas below, and have a happy and safe Halloween weekend.