BBNBA Roundup: New Year's Vacation

Welcome back to BBNBA Roundup, the post where we report the week’s hottest stories both on and off the court in the world of La Familia. This week we’ve been blessed with a cornucopia of corny copy; a true holiday smorgasbord of heinous headlines. With one week left in 2021, we’re leaving it all out on the floor.

Now that I’ve set your expectations unreasonably high, let’s get to it.

Christmas in Quarantine: the KAT story

Like much of the country, the NBA’s finest were struck brutally this week by a wave of Omicron variant infections. As of Thursday, a whopping nine former ‘Cats were stuck in Covid-19 safety protocols. This included three of the four Kentucky representatives on the New York Knicks, who pulled out a gutsy win over the Hawks on Christmas Day behind Julius Randle‘s heroics.

One of those waylaid Wildcats was Karl-Anthony Towns, who posted this heartbreaking photo yesterday celebrating the holiday apart from his girlfriend, reality TV star Jordyn Woods:

Merry Christmas 🎄🎁

P.S. Covid Sucks 😡🤬 pic.twitter.com/ZqCBaGYEK4

— Karl-Anthony Towns (@KarlTowns) December 25, 2021

As sad as it is for KAT, I imagine Woods was willing to forgive his absence, considering he bought her an $82,000 Porsche as a gift. Get well soon, Karl!

Others who weren’t able to suit up on Saturday included Willie Cauley-Stein and Enes Freedom, but it didn’t stop Devin Booker from playing in the day’s best matchup, Suns vs. Warriors. While Booker was largely held in check in a nine-point loss, it was nice to see his four-year wish-in-the-making come true. He also earned a Christmas shoutout from his own celebrity girlfriend, Kendall Jenner. I’m starting to notice a pattern here…

The latest Omicron transaction report has Malik Monk, Immanuel Quickley and Kevin Knox returning, while Trey Lyles and Rajon Rondo were sent to the protocols today. Meanwhile, the Mavericks resorted to signing Brandon Knight, who scored 10 points off the bench against the Jazz. If the trend isn’t bucked soon, any one of us could be next.

Tyrese Maxey’s House is On Fire

No joke in this headline, folks, it’s all right there. In one of the more alarming pieces of news this weekend, it was reported that Tyrese Maxey‘s New Jersey home caught on fire late on Christmas Eve. Thankfully no one was injured, but aerial photos confirmed the multiple-alarm blaze.

I have some questions. First, does anyone have eyes on Cousin Eddie? I’d get on that ASAP. Because the only other explanation is a wiring mishap with the ol’ Christmas lights, and when would Tyrese Maxey have time to set those up when he’s busy carrying the entire Sixers team?

We do have one suspect, per Twitter:

Police released an image of this suspect responsible for the Tyrese Maxey house fire. Have you seen this man? pic.twitter.com/5AHOAVYHQa

— cappamura (@cappamura) December 25, 2021

Adding injury to insult for Maxey was a report last night that he, too, was entering the health & safety protocols. Again, looking at you, Eddie. Thankfully, the latest reports say he’s back on the court for today’s game against the Wizards.

As of this posting, his cat is listed as doubtful.

Need-to-Know: All-Star Voting

As Zack wrote earlier, the NBA’s All-Star Game voting officially opened this morning. If you’re the kind of person who likes to participate in that sort of thing, it’s all in there. But if you’ve made it this far in this post, I figure you’re hankerin’ for some analysis — and that’s just what I’ve got.

The first thing you need to know about the All-Star Game is that it doesn’t matter at all. It’s rarely close and the result has no consequence. The new “Elam Ending” format has breathed some life into the game, but the level of competition is still suspect. And if that’s not bad enough, this year it’s in Cleveland.

However, being selected for the All-Star Game is still a big deal to these guys. Many players have contract incentives for All-Star selections, and getting that nod for the first time can mean lots of money for these poor, broke millionaires. How else will Tyler Herro pay his bills? Think of the children!

With that said, here’s the right way to vote:

Submit your ballots here, and don’t forget to have fun!

New Year’s News & Notes:

• Now joining KAT, Herro and Booker in the “rich girlfriend club,” welcome Enes Freedom! The Celtics center is reportedly in a relationship with model Emily Sears, who you may recognize from those charming, family-friendly Carl’s Jr. ads. Yeah, you know the ones.
• Shoutout to the Houston security guard who tried to stop DeMarcus Cousins from taking a picture with fans last month, which is a quick way to get on Boogie’s bad side. That’s a brave, brave man.
• P.J. Washington would like everyone to leave their “weirdo energy” in 2021, please and thank you. Plan your New Year’s resolutions accordingly.