Full Rick Pitino Sex Tape Released As GIF

Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on. In an attempt to fight the University of Louisville’s decision to terminate him as Head Basketball Coach, Rick Pitino and his attorney recently released a large amount of ‘evidence’ to the media. The two hoped a data dump of text messages and logs of phone activity, would help exonerate the coach of any wrongdoing. “Maybe some podcast can use cell towers to prove Coach Pitino had nothing to do with anything the basketball team did that was wrong, but everything they did that was right,” explained Pitino’s attorney and former Lt. Governor Steve Pence. While the two explained the evidence would hide nothing, and a few blemishes upon the Coach were to be expected, neither realized the data dump would actually include, a full length sex tape. The incident, now being referred to as Rickyleaks, now has the former Head Coach in even more hot water than before. According to the evidence, it appears Pitino had been sending the tape to friends on various messaging platforms as an animated GIF (please note, this was not a portion of the tape or a small clip but the tape in it’s entirety that was distributed via GIF). In an attempt to deny the newest allegations said, “Giff? Jiff? I don’t know what that is and I’ve never done anything like that or sent anything like that.” Pitino said this as reporters showed him the GIF which was followed by a message sent by Pitino that included an eggplant and an old timey film camera emoji. The next message was from the recipient asking if the eggplant emoji was in reference to the video itself or the fact that the video was taking place in an Italian restaurant known for their eggplant parmesan. “This is some really good GIF work,” said Kevin, a source familiar with the video and an expert in the industry. “I’m telling you. This guy could’ve been a vine star. I’ve never seen someone pack so much action into such a short period of time.” To keep up with The New Circle Circular, like the Facebook page or follow Harold Leeder’s Twitter Account.