Fun with IMDB: “Let’s Be Cops” Edition
http://youtu.be/ExciLtpHp74
Like most people, I like to go down the IMDB rabbit-hole from time to time. Few things bring me as much joy as scrolling through the long list of bit players and background actors who round out the casts for big movies. The lazily named roles alone are usually good for a few chuckles, and sometimes the profiles for these character actors and Hollywood hopefuls are equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking.
Let’s Be Cops — an R-rated comedy starring Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans, Jr., two up-and-coming comedic actors who are probably best known for their work on the Fox sitcom, New Girl — hits theaters this weekend and, curious to see who else appeared alongside the duo, I spent way too much time perusing the IMDB listings of actors who play minor roles in the film. Here’s a look at some of my favorites.
Gabe Lustman. Gabe appears in Let’s Be Cops as “Party Guest.” Sure, the fact that his last name is “Lustman” and he uses as his main IMDB photo a picture of himself contorted into his most seductive, Blue Steel pose is almost too good to be true. But that’s nothing compared to these amazing tidbits from his official bio:
Mindy Robinson. Mindy appears in Let’s Be Cops as “Cop Groupie,” but that might be the least interesting role of her prolific career. Since 2010, she has more than 100 roles to her credit, and some of them are out-of-this-world spectacular. Behold:
Tim Campione. Although Tim’s IMDB photo would lead you to believe he’s a mercurial blues guitarist with an affinity for extra-long necklaces, he actually plays “Russian Mobster” in Let’s Be Cops, leading me to believe he probably has pretty decent range as an actor. However, that’s not the most interesting thing about Tim’s IMDB page. This is:
Tim appeared in a 2004 short film called Just Asking for It, written by and starring John J. Cornetta. If you think the poster/publicity shot for the short is ridiculous (At whom is he pointing the gun? Why isn’t he looking at whomever he’s pointing the gun? Why is that lady smiling like she’s taking a Glamour Shot? Would there ever be a situation in which you’re are draped on the arm of a guy pointing a gun at someone when smiling like that would be appropriate?), wait until you read the film’s plot summary:
Mary Jo Catlett. Not every bit player in Let’s Be Cops is a young whippersnapper trying to eek out his or her place in Hollywood. Some of them, like Mary Jo Catlett who plays “Old Lady,” are industry veterans whose careers span more than four decades. Mary Jo is probably best known for her role as Pearl Gallagher, Phillip Drummond’s third maid in the later seasons of Diff’rent Strokes. But her credits read like a list of the greatest hits of TV from the 1970s and 80s, with appearances on MASH, Starsky and Hutch, Welcome Back, Kotter, The Dukes of Hazzard, ALF, Murder, She Wrote, Mr. Belvedere, and Night Court. I have no idea if they appear in the same scene together, but if they did, what do you think Mary Jo and Gabe/GABE talked about in between shots? Do you think Gabe/GABE told Mary Jo he is a genius at work or that working with him is a musician’s dream? Probably both, right?
Raul Colon. Yes. Awesome. Everything about this photo is just completely perfect. Raul gets it and I’m definitely picking up what he’s throwing down. He plays “Thug” in Let’s Be Cops, and I’d wager Drew Franklin’s bar tab from the Bahamas that this photo is what landed him the gig. For an actor whose previous credits include “Army Man,” “Gymlifter,” “Prisoner,” and “Wrestler AKA Doughboy,” the leather cowboy hat, tattered duster, chaps, gigantic belt buckle, and comically undersized sawed-off shotgun were no brainers, but the decision to highlight the ensemble with his shirtless torso is what elevates the photo from memorable to transcendent. Bravo, Raul Colon. You have a new fan and I look forward to watching you portray scowling roughnecks and silent goons for many years to come.
All photos via IMDB.
@TheSEShepherd
Gabe Lustman. Gabe appears in Let’s Be Cops as “Party Guest.” Sure, the fact that his last name is “Lustman” and he uses as his main IMDB photo a picture of himself contorted into his most seductive, Blue Steel pose is almost too good to be true. But that’s nothing compared to these amazing tidbits from his official bio:
- “Gabe Lustman, better known as GABE…” Not only does the dude consider himself worthy of existing as a one-name celebrity like Prince or Madonna, but he chooses to elevate his status by listing his mononym IN ALL CAPS!
- “GABE has been tagged a genius at work…” Wow! So genius! Much humble!
- “…At this point it was felt GABE should be a solo artist, that’s when the persona of GABE really appeared…” Ten bucks says it was Gabe who felt GABE should be a solo artist.
- “GABE brands all of his songs by writing all of his own lyrics and melodies. Working with him is a musicians [sic] dream…” I mean…
Mindy Robinson. Mindy appears in Let’s Be Cops as “Cop Groupie,” but that might be the least interesting role of her prolific career. Since 2010, she has more than 100 roles to her credit, and some of them are out-of-this-world spectacular. Behold:
- Killjoy Goes to Hell — “Red Devil Girl”
- Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong — “Poontang Girl #1 / Bikini Girl #1”
- The Coed and the Zombie Stoner — “Nurse Escandalo”
- Bikini Model Academy — “Gangina”
- Timid Pimps — “Wheelchair Cindy” (Doesn't Wheelchair Cindy sound like the name of every band you saw play at sweaty frat parties in college?)
- UFC ex-Heavyweight Champion Ricco Rodriguez has a tattoo of Mindy Robinson’s lips.
- Mindy has an almost complete collection of vintage My Little Ponies.
Tim Campione. Although Tim’s IMDB photo would lead you to believe he’s a mercurial blues guitarist with an affinity for extra-long necklaces, he actually plays “Russian Mobster” in Let’s Be Cops, leading me to believe he probably has pretty decent range as an actor. However, that’s not the most interesting thing about Tim’s IMDB page. This is:
Tim appeared in a 2004 short film called Just Asking for It, written by and starring John J. Cornetta. If you think the poster/publicity shot for the short is ridiculous (At whom is he pointing the gun? Why isn’t he looking at whomever he’s pointing the gun? Why is that lady smiling like she’s taking a Glamour Shot? Would there ever be a situation in which you’re are draped on the arm of a guy pointing a gun at someone when smiling like that would be appropriate?), wait until you read the film’s plot summary:
“In the near future overpopulation threatens the survival of the human race. In order to save mankind, the Population Control Agency (PCA) is created. PCA agents are granted the authority to reduce the population in high-density areas by eliminating the dregs of society. In other words, they have a license to kill very annoying people. In this dark comedy Agent Mike Brandon gets to do what most people only dream of. Eliminate anyone and everyone that rubs him the wrong way. Everyone is a potential target for Agent Brandon, until he falls for a beautiful woman.”LOL! Tim, dude, you are better than that. Stay away from John J. Cornetta and his vanity projects and focus on playing mobbed-up Russians in actual movies and entertaining crowds with the dulcet tones of your sweet six-string.
Mary Jo Catlett. Not every bit player in Let’s Be Cops is a young whippersnapper trying to eek out his or her place in Hollywood. Some of them, like Mary Jo Catlett who plays “Old Lady,” are industry veterans whose careers span more than four decades. Mary Jo is probably best known for her role as Pearl Gallagher, Phillip Drummond’s third maid in the later seasons of Diff’rent Strokes. But her credits read like a list of the greatest hits of TV from the 1970s and 80s, with appearances on MASH, Starsky and Hutch, Welcome Back, Kotter, The Dukes of Hazzard, ALF, Murder, She Wrote, Mr. Belvedere, and Night Court. I have no idea if they appear in the same scene together, but if they did, what do you think Mary Jo and Gabe/GABE talked about in between shots? Do you think Gabe/GABE told Mary Jo he is a genius at work or that working with him is a musician’s dream? Probably both, right?
Raul Colon. Yes. Awesome. Everything about this photo is just completely perfect. Raul gets it and I’m definitely picking up what he’s throwing down. He plays “Thug” in Let’s Be Cops, and I’d wager Drew Franklin’s bar tab from the Bahamas that this photo is what landed him the gig. For an actor whose previous credits include “Army Man,” “Gymlifter,” “Prisoner,” and “Wrestler AKA Doughboy,” the leather cowboy hat, tattered duster, chaps, gigantic belt buckle, and comically undersized sawed-off shotgun were no brainers, but the decision to highlight the ensemble with his shirtless torso is what elevates the photo from memorable to transcendent. Bravo, Raul Colon. You have a new fan and I look forward to watching you portray scowling roughnecks and silent goons for many years to come.
All photos via IMDB.
@TheSEShepherd
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