Happy NSFW Day--brought to you by SI and Magic Mike

No, this is not Barstool Sports. It's Funkhouser! Surprise!! It's the day that you've all been waiting for... the "who will replace Kate Upton/Chrissy Teigen/those others as the SI Swimsuit cover girl?" I've been waiting with bated breath for a year now. Who could possibly fill the shoes of the girl who starred in The Other Woman or the star of the 2015 Golden Globes, Chrissy Teigen? *Sidenote, I'm a huge fan of Teigen and her Twitter account. Give that girl a follow. Well we have our answer America, and it's alien beauty, 24-year old Hannah Davis, native of the U.S. Virgin Islands and girlfriend of none other than baseball playboy, Derek Jeter. Hannah was unveiled as SI's newest covergirl on The Tonight Show, propelling her to instant notoriety and an eternity of "I'd hit that" Internet comments from now until time immemorial. While I'm not familiar with the modeling game, I felt eerily familiar with Hannah upon seeing her cover... Where had I seen her before? Here's your answer! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0PbhCUyuR0&feature=player_embedded Hannah is a DirecTV Genie AND swimsuit model. What a life. The Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition is a cultural staple that I hesitate to either glorify or ignore, so I'm doing neither. While I'd prefer a woman celebrated on the cover of SI for accomplishments other than her body, kudos to Hannah because that does not just come naturally. So much kale. So much gym. Here's a quick look at the 1970 SI swimsuit edition... for once, I'll give it to you olds. The times they are a changin'. And in further celebration of NSFW day, I will be disregarding February's 50 Shades of Grey for the steaming hot garbage that it is, and instead turn our attention to the release of the new Magic Mike XXL trailer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwPR0q5es0A The surprise hit of 2012 with your gay friends, your girlfriend, and your mom (really mom!??) the Magic Mike sequel trailer is here and it's XXXXXXXXXL. I admittedly haven't seen the original, but a film starring Channing Tatum, Matt Bomer, and the McConaissance directed by Steven Soderbergh has to be top-notch. I was devastated to learn that McConaughey won't be making an appearance in the sequel, likely due to his busy schedule with weed and Lincoln ads being an Oscar winner, but XXL adds a bevy of random stars, including Donald Glover, Amber Heard, Elizabeth Banks, Jada Pinkett Smith, and Michael Strahan. Intrigued/confused? You're not alone.