How to Properly Name-Call Ignorance From Other SEC Fanbases

There’s no better time to talk college football trash than August. SEC football fans can make almost any crazy point possible and it cannot be invalidated because zero games have been played. Unbridled college football optimism is an intoxicating drug that makes people say silly things.

The final week of the preseason produced one of the most ridiculous statements ever uttered by an SEC fan.

The top button being buttoned on this Auburn podcast host’s TikTok is almost as bad as his opinion pic.twitter.com/CQjNTyvk0V

— Matt Jones (@KySportsRadio) August 21, 2024

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Auburn should take a significant step forward in year two under Hugh Freeze. There were significant talent upgrades at wide receiver and I fear that the game in Lexington could be a season-defining loss for the Cats. I can provide more insight, but I won’t bother you. That’s more analysis than this guy gave.

When I saw the clip from the podcast I’d never heard of before, I didn’t know him from Adam. War Eagle Wally brought all the takes and none of the knowledge. It begged the question, what’s a good name to call a Hot Take Tom from around the SEC? I’ve got some for every team in the league. You can figure out where their allegiances lie.

Gamecock Charlie
Yell Leader Larry
Longhorn Larry
Boomer
Chicken Man
Toomer Terry
Cousin Shane
Swamp Ass Steve
Smoky Mountain Suzy
Crawdad Claude
Florida Freddie
Danny Dawgs
Rammer Jammer 
Roll Tide Ricky
Boss Hog
Rocky Top Tim
West End Wayne
Ronnie Rebel
Cowbell Carl

Is this the most enlightening exercise? Of course not. But consider yourself prepared to admonish any sort of silliness from an SEC Hot Take Artist.

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