Intern High School Football Rankings: Week 1 (Using Just KSR Writers)

KSR has really become a top provider of high school content, especially in the high school football world. You can find all kinds of content from Jack, Zack, and so many others here. I would highly advise checking that stuff out before the games get rolling tonight.

But I also realized that basically none of the KSR writers have a team in the Preseason Top 25 rankings released by KSR this week. That’s no fun for us. So I took it upon myself to really get into the previews, the stats, the rosters, the analytics. And using my super special, super secret, super quickly put together system, I am able to rank the alma maters (or at least the ones I know) of the KSR writers as we head into the season.

Now, KSR is rolling out the Massey Predictions for Week 1, which certainly will be awesome and one way to go to know what is going to happen in high school football in Kentucky.

I will update these as the season goes up, although I think the team at the bottom has a pretty strong grip as the worst team.

1. PLEASURE RIDGE PARK (BTI)

Week 1: HOME vs. Taft and Middle School (Cincinnati)

This 6-A team is an absolute wagon this year. I’m not sure there is a weakness. Yes, you can look at those private school pretty boys from Trinity and St. X and see more “talent” but they don’t have that south-end grit like these Panthers. They open with Taft and Middle School from Cincinnati at home tonight. While I have no idea how good that team is, I do hope they just bring the middle school team to play as I would expect PRP to roll in that situation.

PREDICTION: PRP 72, Taft, 2

2. DANVILLE (TYLER)

Week 1: at East Jessamine (played at West Jessamine)

Here’s the thing. Danville did go 0-11 last year. That is true according to the KHSAA website. But they were just 7 touchdowns and a 2-point conversion away from stunning Beechwood in the first round of the playoffs. I personally think they are 50 points better this year. Plus they are forcing East Jessamine to play at West Jessamine tonight, which should throw them off. I expect big things from the Terriers (just a guess on the nickname) this year.

PREDICTION: DANVILLE 38, EAST JESSAMINE 28

3. EASTERN (JACK PILGRIM)

Week 1: at Tates Creek

I think this is Jack’s alma mater but if it’s not he should totally adopt them this year. Because by my rankings, this is absolutely one of the 25 best teams in Class 6A in the Eastern Time Zone this season. Last year, Eastern gave up 404 points in 11 games. I would expect Tates Creek to get nowhere near 404 points tonight. So I like the Eagles chances to steal one away from Lexington and bring it home. If this is not Jack’s alma mater, then go, fight, win whichever Louisville school he attended.

PREDICTION: JACK’S ALMA MATER 31, THEIR OPPONENT 30

4. MADISONVILLE-NORTH HOPKINS (DREW)

Week 1: HOME vs. Union County

Here’s what I have always wondered about Drew’s squad. Just imagine how good this team would be if they included the southside of Hopkins County too? It seems like they are shooting themselves in the foot by eliminating half of the county’s talent. But what do I know, I’ve just been an intern for 17 years. Last year, Union County pulled out a 21-14 win over MNHHS (that can’t be right), so revenge will be on the mind for the Morons Maroons. Unfortunately, I have inside sources that say Union County is going to use ALL of the players from their county, not just half. And that’s worth at least 10 points.

PREDICTION: UNION COUNTY 27, MADISONVILLE-NORTH HOPKINS 17
BONUS PREDICTION: SOUTH HOPKINS 61, TRIGG COUNTY 10

5. MCLEAN COUNTY (PHOENIX)

Week 1: at Ohio County

I am going to go strictly off the logo of this school, which appears to be a Saber-Toothed Tiger. And that’s awesome and totally is worth 8-9 wins. Including tonight’s game against Ohio County. My prediction is Kentucky will be down to 119 counties after tonight when the Saber-Toothed Tigers defeat the Cinnamon Chili Eaters. Ohio County will want JD Vance to be their senator after tonight. This feels like a good time to remind everybody how scientific and super secret the formula for these rankings is.

PREDICTION: MCLEAN COUNTY 46, OHIO COUNTY 14 (same score as in 2023)

6. PAUL LAURENCE DUNBAR (ZACK)

Week 1: HOME against Conner

My hope is that Conner brings some of his friends for this game or it feels like a mismatch. Yes, Dunbar was 3-8 last year. Yes, they were 6-6 in 2022. Yes, they were 7-6 in 2021. Yes, that means they’ve had a worse record than the year before 3 straight seasons. But 11 guys against just Conner seems like an advantage. While I do think that the Bulldogs are slightly worse than Drew’s team, I do think they get on the board with a win tonight. And pray for Conner, seems like he could get hurt.

PREDICTION: DUNBAR 40, CONNER 35

7. MIDDLESBORO (MATT)

Week 1: HOME against Harlan County

You know the old song, you’ll never leave Harlan alive. That should really scare anybody in this state but especially Matt’s squad of Bumblebees. Of course, now that I look more closely, the game is in Bell County tonight so my guess is that Middlesboro will, in fact, be alive, following this game. Just ignore where I was going with that. Everybody will be safe following the game. Is 7th on a list of 8 teams too low for a team that is consistently one of Class 1A’s best? Maybe. But is being an intern for 17 years a little too long? You tell me. Anyway, Middlesboro probably rolls since they don’t have to fear death.

PREDICTION: MIDDLESBORO 38, HARLAN COUNTY 11

8. DE SALES (NICK ROUSH)

WEEK 1: HOME vs. Seneca

If I knew the alma maters of more of the KSR writers, I would put them ahead of this group of bums. And I’m not saying a bunch of high school kids are bums. They are really great kids. But their KSR supporter is a bum. Guilt by association there. How about that nickname though? The Colts? Do we even have horses in this state? I’d love for my team (PRP, #1 in these rankings) to play Nick’s team (Desales, dead last in these rankings) some year. But somebody is scared. And it ain’t the Panthers. Desales instead chooses to play Seneca, who will also trounce them mightily. It’s hard to imagine this squad exiting the bottom of these rankings this year. But again, great kids.

PREDICTION: SENECA 119, DESALES 9