Jonathan Fraysure on Jorge Gonzalez

#61 Jorge Gonzalez
Center, 6-3, 305, Senior

– Gonzalez battled back from injuries and being one of the Undertaker’s victims at WrestleMania (DQ loss, WM IX) to have a successful year under center as a junior.

– He and Zipp Duncan were the only UK linemen to dress and start every game, but Gonzalez is the only UK lineman to win marathon gold at the Pan American Games.

– For his efforts, Gonzalez won the UK most improved offensive player award, and released an album with his band Los Updates.

– Gonzalez had only gotten into four games his first two seasons after being redshirted his freshman year. In practice following his first game in 2006, he suffered a season-ending knee injury. He used the time off to rehab as well as finish up his duties as the mayor of Pichilemu, Chile.

– Coming out of high school, where he was a two-sport star for Catholic High School in Tampa, Florida, Gonzalez chose the Cats over UAB, UConn and Purdue. Prior to high school, a younger Gonzalez, as Miguel Agilar, visited the Astrodome with the rest of the Bad News Bears.

– Though Gonzalez is a natural lefthander, he snaps with his right so as to be able to use his dominant hand to block defenders. This skill, and his ball-control skills on the pitch, has led him to be referred to as El Magico, or the Wizard.

– Gonzalez was named to this year’s preseason all-SEC third team by the coaches, joining Duncan, Corey Peters, and Mike Hartline. It has been said that Gonzalez threatened to “throw hands” with any coach that didn’t vote for him, using his victories over both Lennox Lewis and Riddick Bowe as proof of his in-ring ability.

– Off the field, UK coaches have said few players are as outgoing as Gonzalez, who is credited as having a “perpetual smile” on his face, as well as being credited as the founder of the Ecologist Green Party of Mexico.

ED note: There are 15 Jorge/George Gonzalezes on Wikipedia, none of which are actually the UK center. Many of them are highlighted in italics in this bio. The actual biography can be read in its entirety without the italicized text.

Mosley’s Take:
“Test 1, Test 1. Ronnie, it’s not working.”
…
“I said it’s not working…the microphone. The microphone’s not working.”
…
“I already tried that.”
…
“Yes, the switch is on. It’s broken.”

” I SAID IT’S BROKEN! DO YOU ENJOY TRYING TO MAKE ME FAIL, RONNIE? IS THAT HOW YOU GET YOUR JOLLIES? I WILL PERSONALLY TAKE A GARDEN RAKE AND–oh, wait. Never mind. The button was off. No worries, buddy, it’s fixed.”

Oh, hey there gang, just reviewing some preliminary stuff with my roadie. Going on tour this summer to promote my new album, “Singing the Spoken Word”, but I thought it would be a larf to drop in to ol’ KSR junction and mess around a bit. Apparently I am to judge some persons based not upon their looks in a swimsuit/evening gown and terrible answers to terrible questions, but based solely on their writing talent. I have been practicing though as I just finished watching “Dating in the Dark”, and yes, it is the most clever show on television.

Having said that, we now turn our attention to Jonathon Fraysure. Come on in Jon (can I call you that?) and pull up a bean bag. Jon, I thought your approach was creative as I am always pleased when I see someone venture into the realm of absurdity. You did a pretty good job mixing in a few facts about the real Jorge while maintaining your ongoing Wiki-Jorge theme. The challenge is that while some of the facts were good enough to elicit a smile (I particularly liked the Bad News Bears II reference), while the others were a bit more mundane. The less funny examples left me wondering if you were just creating these from off the top of your head and your were spotty with your funny bone. It made sense when you explained your intent at the end, but it kept me from fully appreciating the ridiculousness of the faux facts. While this, in and of itself isn’t bad, your post might have been more effective if you had played it dumb throughout and somehow worked into your post that you noticed that our Jorge Gonzalez actually had a lot of entries in Wikipedia and you wanted to include some info from each. This would let the audience in on the joke a bit earlier and you wouldn’t be burdened with the explanatory paragraph at the end to make it all make sense. All and all I really liked the creativity and hope that it’s a harbinger of things to come. Now please take that silverware out of your pocket and put it back on my table. God Bless.