J.P.wnd Prince

After several long days at the grindstone, I managed to make it home Saturday night just in time to see the Cats put another notch in their proverbial bedpost courtesy of the glory hole that is the University of Tennessee. To be honest, I was so tired prior to the game I could only halfway muster the disdain that Tennessee truly deserves. I’ll leave the analysis of the actual game to those working on more sleep, but one play in particular got me excited to the point I had to write about it.

I don’t care that the Boogie Monster only had 5 points Saturday night. Likewise, it doesn’t bother me that on this night he shot free throws with less accuracy than the A Team on range day. I’m taking away two things from that game and two things only. 1- the W. 2- Cousins abuse of J.P. Prince on the offensive board at the 7:44 mark of the first half. You remember what I’m talking about- where Cuz took Prince’s defensive rebound from his outstretched hands, dunked on him, and stuffed him back in the gimp chest all in one fell swoop. As Sydney Dean so eloquently stated in the film White Men Can’t Jump, “it’s like this, you either smoke or you get smoked. And you got smoked.” Mr. Prince, you sir, got smoked.

If you weren’t sitting in a Rascal prior to that play and that didn’t get you out your seat, you might want to blink twice to make sure your wife isn’t executing your will. As Prince fell to the ground reeling from Boogie’s power, you could see him attempting to mutter his safe word “asparagus” as he tumbled into the cameras. At the conclusion of that play, Prince was so disoriented and shamed, he didn’t know whether to call a timeout, the Ghostbusters, or a SANE nurse. In short, it was awesome.

Boogie was able to take a small piece of Prince in an alpha male, dominating kind of way. It was sort of like how in prison life, other inmates won’t consider it “dainty” should one of their own take certain liberties by force of other freedom impaired individuals. Prince, you now know where you rank in this pecking order. This may actually have been beneficial to Prince given his Vol teammates/alumni’s proclivity for incarceration. By the way, has a TN player ever received a post-graduate degree without having “Care of Tennessee Department of Corrections” affixed to the envelope in which it arrived? I digress.

Now, some may think given that J.P. is kin to the beloved Tayshaun, maybe he should get a pass. The answer to that is absolutely not. Don Swayze will never be Patrick, Frank Stallone will never be Sly, and Chyna Kardashian will never be Kim. They don’t compare and each diminish the accomplishments of the latter by their mere existence. So, Boogie- cheers to you my man. You made a 30 year old white man jump around his living room like he was an extra at an And 1 Tour Stop.