KSR's Christmas Recipes for the Big Blue Nation

Merry Christmas from the KSR crew! We hope you’re spending it with friends and family. If you’re going to a gathering today or hosting one, we’ve got a few last-minute recipes to help make things merry and bright. Don’t forget to execute them in the most ridiculous manner possible!

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Presents from Santa Claus on Christmas morning

• Three warm cookies
• A cold glass of milk
• One full year of being on the nice list
• Not being a Louisville fan

— Jack Pilgrim

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Whiskey Sours

Makes 1.75 liters

• 12 lemons, juiced
• 2 cups sugar
• 1 750 ml bottle bourbon
• 1 750 ml bottle water

Best enjoyed over ice with friends while debating who would grab more rebounds, Oscar Tshiebwe or Bob Burrow.

— Tyler Thompson

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Citrus Bowl Victory

• Zero Turnovers
• 3 Will Levis Touchdown Celebrations
• 4 Explosive Plays from Wan’Dale Robinson
• 100 yards from Chris Rodriguez
• 2 Josh Paschal Tackles for Loss
• 10 or fewer Iowa points
• 1 Emotional Mark Stoops

When mixed together at the right time, it creates a crystal bowl of Florida’s finest citrus fruits.

— Nick Roush

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The greatest recruiting class in Kentucky football history

This is a Mark Stoops special, one that took roughly nine years of preparation to create. The Kentucky head coach has had many attempts at the perfect recipe and he’s gotten close several times, but it wasn’t until Christmas 2021 he finally put it together.

The ingredients?

• Two top-25, five-star signees
  • Kiyaunta Goodwin (No. 17 overall, No. 1 OT)
  • Barion Brown (No. 24 overall, No. 2 WR)
• Ten four-star, top-450 prospects
  • Tyreese Fearbry (No. 159 overall, No. 13 EDGE)
  • Keaten Wade (No. 231 overall, No. 19 EDGE)
  • Dane Key (No. 232 overall, No. 39 WR)
  • Deone Walker (No. 260 overall, No. 34 DL)
  • Alex Afari (No. 323 overall, No. 34 LB)
  • Grant Bingham (No. 375 overall, No. 25 IOL)
  • Jordan Anthony (No. 390 overall, No. 60 WR)
  • Destin Wade (No. 392 overall, No. 16 ATH)
  • Nikolas Hall (No. 394 overall, No. 22 OT)
  • Ja’Kobi Albert (No. 412 overall, No. 17 ATH)
• Seven standout three-stars
  • Andre Stewart (No. 518 overall, No. 47 CB)
  • Quentel Jones (No. 661 overall, No. 75 DL)
  • Tomiwa Durojaiye (No. 737 overall, No. 88 DL)
  • Elijah Reed (No. 781 overall, No. 73 CB)
  • Josh Kattus (No. 1123 overall, No. 66 TE)
  • Brandon White (No. 1273 overall, No. 182 WR)
  • Jackson Smith (No. 1909 overall, No. 14 K)
• Three high-profile transfer additions
  • Tayvion Robinson (WR, Virginia Tech)
  • Tashawn Manning (IOL, Auburn)
  • Zah Frazier (S, JUCO)

— Jack Pilgrim

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Warm Mulled Wine

This Christmas I changed things up with a little help from BBN Tonight’s Anna Tarullo. Instead of just pouring bourbon over ice, I created this warm, pungent concoction that made me feel Dickensian. (You might want to make a double batch.)

• 1 bottle red wine
• 1.5 cups of brandy
• 1 cup cranberry juice
• 5 tablespoons honey
• 2 cinnamon sticks
• .5 cup of cranberries
• 18 whole cloves
• 2 oranges, sliced and pierced with three cloves each
• Mix, bring to a boil, then let simmer for 20 minutes

— Nick Roush

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A Kentucky Basketball win

• 1 double double from Oscar Tshiebwe
• 15 or more points from TyTy Washington
• 18 or more assists
• 4 or more threes from Kellan Grady
• At least 50% shooting from the floor
• 63 or fewer points from the other team

To really spice things up, throw in five-star shooting guard Shaedon Sharpe halfway through the bake time.

— Tyler Thompson

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Will Levis’ Banana Croquettes

This dish combines two of Levis’ favorite things to create one delicious appetizer.

• 6 firm bananas
• 2 Tbsp Mayo
• 16-oz can cocktail peanuts
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 C sugar
• 2 Tbsp water
• 1/2 C smooth peanut butter

Cook the eggs, sugar and water in a pan until it becomes a sticky dressing. Mix in the peanut butter and mayo. Once it cools, completely cover the bananas, then roll them in the peanuts. Now you have a dish that would make Shannon the Dude proud.

— Nick Roush

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Governor’s Cup Old Fashioned

A Thanksgiving cocktail that still hits at Christmas, serve in a rocks glass:

• 1 ice ball
• 3 to 12 oz. of Louisville tears

Chug.

— Drew Franklin

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A Big Blue Nation Feast

• 1 bowl of citrus
• Ramen noodels and/or Fritos
• A TyTy Trio from Fazoli’s
• A Sahvir Steakburger from Steak ‘N Shake
• Assorted cuts of steak for John Calipari
• A ripe, unpeeled banana
• Hummus and carrots from KSBar and Grille

Polish it off with a glass of bourbon or one of Mark Stoops’ favorite non-fat lattes in front of the fire.

— Tyler Thompson

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Gingerbread Indoor Football Practice Facility

Instead of the traditional gingerbread house, gather the family ’round the table to build a Gingerbread Indoor Football Practice Facility. It’s safer on the gingerbread men and will help the main ginger recruit better candy pieces.

• 1 stick of butter (room temperature)
• 1/4 cup light molasses or dark corn syrup
• 2/3 cup brown sugar
• 2 cups all-purpouse flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 tablespoon cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon ground ginger
• Assorted candy pieces
• 2 lb. powdered sugar, sifted
• 2 large egg whites
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Combine facility ingredients, let chill for 30 minutes. Roll dough into facility-sized pieces and then bake at 375 degrees for approximately 15 minutes or until dough feels firm. Let cool. Build your Joe Craft Gingerbread UK Football Indoor Football Practice Facility with a 120-yard practice field and other candied amenities.

Break off a piece where someone is unlikely to notice, maybe a corner. Place on Mitch Barnhart’s desk. Win the SEC Championship, probably.

— Drew Franklin

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Christmas Nap

• 1 full Christmas meal
• Christmas carols on radio
• Glass of egg nog on side table in living room
• 1 couch or reclining chair
• NBA or Browns-Packers on the tube

Let your head hit the pillow and the Christmas magic will do the rest.

— Adam Luckett