Louisville Police Looking Porch Pooper Plaguing the City

One Louisville resident woke up to a shitty surprise. There’s a Porch Pooper on the loose and it’s causing one big stink in Kentucky‘s largest city.

The term “porch pirate” has become ubiquitous in recent years to describe common criminals who poach packages that have been left unattended in front of homes. Instead of taking something, this person is leaving an unwanted package on one specific porch in the city of Louisville.

After midnight on Sunday, a man in a red shirt with only socks on his feet walked up to the front door of a home in the Old Louisville neighborhood. After peering inside, he left the premises. The following night, he returned, wearing the same clothes, pulled down his pants, and dropped a deuce.

“Tuesday morning I went out to my front porch and noticed what I thought was cat poop,” the anonymous homeowner told WAVE-3. When he checked his doorbell camera, he learned it was not cat poop.

“It turned out to be a person. Not only did he defecate, but he also urinated on our welcome mat.”

WDRB spoke with a neighbor who witnessed the Porch Pooper in action.

“Old Louisville, man, you gonna see some, you see everything out here,” Roderick Dowell said. “I just happened to be outside, and a white guy walked up. He was looking around. He looked like he was going into the apartment. He looked at the window, looked out, and he started crapping.”

The Porch Pooper is a repeat offender. He returned to the same Old Louisville home for a third time the following night. The homeowner was alerted to someone arriving at his front door. He tried to confront the Porch Pooper, but it was too late.

There are three different videos of the Porch Pooper in action that have been submitted to Louisville Metro Police and were shared with WAVE-3, but the suspect remains at large. There’s no clear motive as to what led to this stinky situation.

Is this what the Porch Pooper Drives?

It’s probably safe to assume the shoeless suspect does not drive an automobile, however, this vehicle must be profiled if it is spotted in the city of Louisville. Dude Wipes is using the “Mini Pooper” to promote its product across the country. The modified Mini Cooper is not as welcoming as the Wiener Mobile, but it’s certainly capturing the attention of bystanders everywhere it goes.

What if we kissed in the mini pooper pic.twitter.com/diCWa4RBvd

— DUDE Wipes (@DUDEwipes) August 28, 2024