Need-to-Know Wednesday: There's an App for That!

Hello, friends. Happy Wednesday. Are you growing a beard? No, it’s working. Yes, I’m serious. Not everyone can pull it off but you do it delightfully.

If you’re like me, friends, you’re mightily missing Kentucky Basketball. It was truly hard for us to have that much of a fix and be expected to go cold turkey, eh? What are we supposed to do all summer, outside of re-enacting the Kansas game in our backyards, buying more merchandise that says “National Champions” and filling notebook after notebook of imagined correspondence with Twany Beckham? We turn to technology, of course, to take our minds off things, to placate our sports whims and to keep us plugged into to the greater sports landscape. I’ve been scouring the Apple “App Store” for weeks now, compiling the greatest apps out there to keep us busy during the basketball offseason, all just for this very post. So for your perusal today, I’d like to point your attention to New UK-Themed iPhone Apps. I hope this will help tide us all over until fall.

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Where’s Alan Cutler?

App Description: Never be in Lexington without a direct route to Channel 18 High School Sports Zone anchor Alan Cutler again! Using geotracking software, this advanced app will pinpoint the exact whereabouts of reporter Alan Cutler at any moment, enabling you to find him. Is he at the Garden Ridge in Hamburg? The Fazoli’s on Broadway? Stop wondering and get this great app today. (Update 4/12/012: enables “I checked in with Alan Cutler!” button for foursquare users)
Price: Where’s Alan Cutler Lite, free, Where’s Alan Cutler HD, $2.99

Block ‘Em! With Anthony Davis

App Description: Why just hit the block button on annoying Facebook or Twitter followers when you can send their social media profiles hurling into the third row of the World Wide Web? This easy-to-use app syncs with all social media accounts to let friends know when you’ve rejected somebody. A special quicktime video of Anthony Davis blocking John Henson, with the image of the ball replaced with your rejectee’s face, will be sent to the offender with a specialized note informing him or her of your grievances.
Price: free.

LineBeardz Pro

App Description: Ever imagine what your friends, family or pets would look like as Louisville fans? Now there’s LineBeardz Pro, from the makers of best-selling apps FlatBrimz and StripperPolez, which allows you to modify any portrait based picture with the treasured and longstanding insignia of the Cards fanbase. You think they look douchey now…just wait until you see them with LineBeardz! Hours of fun!
Price: 3.99

Heisenbuttelize It!

App Description: Fool your friends into thinking you’re hanging out with former Wildcat Matt Heisenbuttel when you use this pic-based app, which allows you to take stock photos of the player and add them to your existing photographs! Pic poses include: shooting a basketball, shaking hands, giving a thumbs-up, riding a bicycle. When you Heisenbuttelize your photos, everyone will think you were an up-close-and-personal part of Team Turmoil without ever having stepped foot in Varsity Blue!
Price: $1.99

ShoneysFinder

App Description: It happens all the time — you’re traveling across the state by train and bus with a national championship trophy and it’s time to eat. Don’t waste time getting off interstate exits to find fast food when you can pinpoint the closest Shoney’s within twenty miles with new ShoneysFinder. Includes menus, photos of serving staff and managers and pics of recent remodelings. A must have!
Price: free

Quoté

App Description: Receive an inspirational message from Canadian forward Bernard Coté direct to your iPhone or iPad with this easy-to-use application. Log in, create your own settings, and get a valuable pick-me-up from the beloved Cat each day, including encouragement to hang in there, favorite lyrics from Canadian rockers The Tragically Hip or things he overheard at a Tim Horton’s. (Update 2/22 now includes “Thoughts on current Canadian Prime Minister Steven Harper’s trade support with Chile”)
Price: .99