RANKED: The 5 most awkward parts of that Jim McElwain Belk commercial

If you’ve read this site at all over the past year, you know how much I hate that Jim McElwain Belk commercial. For some reason, the Florida coach’s performance in the 30-second spot makes my blood boil. I get that coaches aren’t actors and 99% of commercials featuring them are cringeworthy, but McElwain is so corny and cheesy in this it makes me want to crawl under a table. While compiling my list of the most mockworthy things about the Gators this afternoon, this ranked right up there with the shark humping picture, and that’s saying something.

If you’ve somehow avoided the commercial in the past year, think carefully before you read this post and watch this video, because once you see it, there’s no going back:

Now, because I will freely admit that I’m obsessed with this, I’m going to break it down into the five most awkward parts.

5. “Let me show you this coat lining”

The whole schtick of the commercial is that Jim McElwain doesn’t know how to dress, so he has to get some help from Belk. Exhibit #1 of his horrible fashion sense: wearing a suit jacket over a golf shirt. Normally, I’d be like, “HARHAR, oh Jim, you crazy! That’s not how you dress for a fancy speaking event!”…but look at his face. Does he want to show off his outfit or take it off?

4. The awkward sleeve pull

The taupe members-only jacket is a big star of this spot, giving McElwain the opportunity to tug down on his sleeve while giving the camera a creepy smile. I just…no.

3. “Built for comfort”

If we were to believe the script, it seems McElwain is making a case for his checkered shirt because it’s comfortable; however…

• 1) That shirt doesn’t even look comfortable. It’s probably made of polyester and doesn’t breathe. A t-shirt or golf shirt would have made much more sense, but you know, Jim’s gotta be ZANY.
• 2) Again, the delivery. What the hell. He’s got innuendo turned up to Ryan Lemond levels. What exactly is built for comfort here, Jim?

2. Creepy head nod

No explanation needed.

1. Brushing the shoulder off

How long do you think he practiced this? I’m going with at least 15 minutes. You obviously can’t tell it from a GIF, but the audible “brush brush” sound effect as he strokes his shoulder is priceless.

I think Mrs. McElwain puts it best: