Hello, friends. And happy Friday. I trust all is well with you and that your Fourth of July was both enjoyable and went off without a hitch. If you are in Canada or elsewhere, I trust all is well with you and that your fourth of July was a good day at work.
Friends, summer is upon us in a big way. And as is the norm for summer, I'm sure many of you are heading away from Kentucky on vacation within the next couple of months. Certainly seems like the right time for it. Lying on a beach or by a pool, enjoying a refreshing drink and soaking in the sun. You're likely also in the market for a little "beach reading" this summer, which is why I'm here to help. In the following piece, which we'll call
"Summer Beach Reading," we'll look at a few good options in vacation books for fans the likes of us. As always, I'm certain you'll hate it. And also as always, I hope you have a great weekend. See you next week, gang.
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Wherever I'm Going, There Better Be Chardonnay!
By Miranda Blappe
You think
you have it bad -- try being 52, single and the disgrace of the Tennessee men's basketball program! Follow the trials and tribulations of former head coach Bruce Pearl as he maneuvers the tricky world of dating in Knoxville in search of Mrs. Right. From speed dating to singles' mixers, matchmaking sites to J-dating, Bruce just can't catch a break. But maybe the one he's been looking for all along is right in front of his nose.
Excerpt:
Bruce laughed as his boxer puppy tackled the cute blonde's dachshund playfully. He saw his opening.
"Cute dog," said Bruce. "I think he's made a friend."
"I think maybe I've made one too. My name's Katrina."
"Hi Katrina," said Bruce. "I'm Bruce."
"You look familiar," she said. "Didn't you coach at Tennessee?"
"I used to," said Bruce. "Say, do you like cookouts? You should bring your dog over sometime."
"I've heard about your cookouts," said Katrina with a wink, "You're trouble. Good thing I like trouble."
Bruce smiled. With any luck, he could definitely see some unsanctioned phone calls between the two of them in their future. If he didn't screw this up!
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Adolph Rupp: Mummy Puncher
By Todd Gartz
In this fanciful re-imagining of the life of the famed basketball coach set in the mid 1940's, a world at war calls upon a young basketball coach and his sidekick "Bear" as a covert mission sends the duo in to Egypt's Valley of the Kings to squash a Nazi plot to reanimate the fabled Pharaohs of the Egyptian dynasty and take over the planet. Armed only with his wits and the titanium steel robot hand built for him by atomic scientists, Rupp ventures deep into the tombs of forgotten Emperors to ensure the Germans' devious plan won't see the light of day.
Excerpt:
The passage grew darker and darker, dustier and dustier.
"Dolfy, what're those lights up there?" asked Bear nervously.
"Those ain't lights. They're eyeballs," said Rupp, clenching his metal fist. "That there's Nubkaure Amenemhat II. And by the looks of him, he's not here to discuss the coregency of Senusret. Get armed."
Bear pulled an an arrow from his quiver as Amenemhat leaped from the darkness, teeth bared and flesh cracking in the torchlight. Rupp gripped him by the throat and pulled back his titanium arm.
"Say hi to your mom, Neferu III, for me," he said as he pulverized the pharaoh's face against the stone wall with one swift punch.
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The Rick Majerus "Secret Ingredient" Diet
by Rick Majerus
Want to eat like an award-winning, acclaimed college basketball coach? For the first time, former Utah head coach and current St. Louis University head men's basketball coach basketball coach Rick Majerus spilling all his trade secrets. Read the book the New York Times said "will make you glad Rick Majerus is alive," even though they probably meant that in more of an incredulous way than a positive way.
Excerpt:
Secret Recipe Mashed Potatoes
Ingredients:
1 Pint of mashed potatoes from KFC
1 bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup
Directions:
1.) Open the mashed potatoes.
2.) Pour in chocolate syrup.
Secret Ingredient French Fries
Ingredients:
1 Large Order of McDonald's French Fries
1 bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup
Directions:
1.) Place fries onto plate.
2.) Pour in chocolate syrup.
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Fifty Shades of Vanderbilt Football Coach James Franklin
by E.L. James
When young assistant coach Brad Hulman and his wife Elizabeth move to Nashville for Brad's new job at Vanderbilt University, Elizabeth wonders if she'll ever replace the great friends they had back in Colorado. All of that changes when she meets the mysterious, powerful and desirable coach James Franklin, who has his own plans for her.
Excerpt:
Elizabeth blushed as James shook her hand. "It's great to have you and Brad around," he told her.
"It's...nice to be here," she said, feeling her face flush beneath his gaze.
"You know, you're a big part of my choosing Brad as an assistant."
"Oh?" asked Elizabeth. She felt his dominance over her.
"I always make it a policy to take a look at my assistant's wives before I hire them," he said. "And let's just say I think we're going to get along very well."
Elizabeth bit her lip, not sure what to say.
"Plus, your husband's record in Colorado was very impressive. He's a great recruiter. Say, do you like spankings?"
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