The Entertation Index: July 10-14

As always, each week KSR’s Funkhouser collects the best of pop culture. And as always, The Entertation Index collects the best of the week for your consumption.

——

Emmys — Nominations came out this week for the 69th Annual Emmy Awards, with HBO’s Westworld and Saturday Night Live leading the pack in nominations. I’d love to weigh in here, but I don’t watch any current TV — only watch my old VHS copies of the Emmy-winning exotic crime drama Magnum, P.I. (nineteen nominations and two wins; suck it Modern Family).
Link: Emmy Nominations 2017

Lochte, Ryan — With Discovery Channel’s Shark Week nigh on the horizon and Olympian Michael Phelps slated to race a shark to kick it off, former teammate Ryan Lochte weighed in on the publicity stunt while leaving a Hollywood party with his Playboy model fiancee this week (see? Karma doesn’t exist!) and vehemently told reporters Phelps doesn’t stand a chance. “Hell no,” said Lochte. “Everyone knows sharks don’t exist.”
Link: No Way in Hell Phelps Beats Shark

Phelps, Michael — See: Lochte, Ryan

Rock, Kid — Trailer-rocker Kid Rock may have announced this week that he’ll be seeking a senate seat in the state of Michigan in 2018 by opposing democratic incumbent Debbie Stabenow. The move is being hailed as either a move for Rock to make positive changes in the Great Lakes State or, if he wins, the most incredibly elaborate attempt ever to make Debbie Stabenow the saddest person in the country.
Link: Kid Rock Tweets Tease Senate Run in Michigan

O’Brien, Conan — Ready for a real throwback? Go down the rabbit hole of Late Night with Conan O’Brien’s old, wonderful, brilliant material in this fantastic montage. Some really great moments here, just for fun on a Friday
Link: Best of Late Night

Planet of the Apes: The Musical — With the third of the Planet of the Apes trilogy bowing in theaters today, how about an oral history from Simpsons writers of defrocked actor Troy McClure’s broadway musical Stop the Planet of the Apes, I Want to Get Off? See? Sometimes the internet isn’t so terrible.
Link: An Oral History of the Simpsons’ Planet of the Apes Musical

Roses, Guns and — Spin magazine reports that, behind Queen Bey, rockers Guns N’ Roses were the top earning musical act of 2016 by netting a whopping $42.3 million from their long awaited tour. This is encouraging, as it gives us all hope that we can stop giving a crap about our jobs and continue to make money. Happy Friday! Enjoy your dumb awful paycheck, stupid.
Link: Guns N’ Roses Made More Money in 2016 Than Anyone Except Beyonce

Thrones, Game of — You’ve done it, Internet! Before season eight’s debut, in the past week you’ve succeeded in ranking everything on Game of Thrones. Great job! Who can forget “Five Times Gilly and Sam Looked at Each Other” or “Ser Davros’ Best Pelts, Ranked”? We thrilled at “Eighteen Wardrobe Secrets You Didn’t Know About Tyrion Lannister’s Pants” and couldn’t take our eyes off of “Fifty-four times an Episode Ended with Daenerys Striking a Cliched Power Pose.” So here’s Rolling Stone’s list of forty of the best Game of Thrones characters, I guess. Why not?
Link: The Forty Best Game of Thrones Characters