The Sad Gasp of The Cult of RMK

As the maintainer of the #iulol brand, I found immense joy in the recent Bob Knight outburst and subsequent backlash against the General. Bob Knight's apology was not "sorry I spoke about something I had no actual knowledge about." Instead it was "sorry I mentioned Kentucky," which is equal parts surprising (that ESPN actually forced Bob Knight to release a statement about it) and hilarious (that getting Bob Knight to apologize for "making it personal" when Bob Knight has made it personal his whole entire friggin' life).

Those of us who have previously or currently reside near/inside the state of Indiana know the ordeal of dealing with the now-severely-aging Cult of Robert Montgomery Knight. They refer to him as RMK because abbreviating his full name is the sign of respect and membership of the Cult on the Indiana message boards. They believe that Bob Knight is still bigger than IU Athletics. The Cult's influence is strong enough that the IU Athletic Administration has made significant hints and steps towards welcoming RMK back to IU proper.

For us that have dealt with the Cult of RMK, the most hilarious moment of this whole ordeal happened during Knight's infamous Wabash, Indiana appearance. Go watch that video again starting at the 4:20 mark and listen to the crowd's reaction as Knight finishes his accusation.

Such concern and disdain for the situation! Oh! What a terrible situation for all those heathens in Lexington that dare to defile what The General holds true and dear!

What a bunch of nincompoops.

If any of the audience actually followed college basketball -- and not just Indiana University basketball or actually just RMK -- they would know that there's NO WAY that Kentucky could get away with having all 5 starters miss class in Spring 2010. (We UK fans know that NYT's Pete Thamel would be calling bomb threats to Sports Illustrated's offices so Pete could break the news first.) By swallowing the fabrication whole cloth, they proved themselves as obtuse as college basketball "fans" who don't start paying attention to the sport until the last week of April.

But why would they disbelieve a man who means so much to them? The 3 National Championships and the 28 successful seasons carry a lot of weight since 2000. Enough to ignore RMK's fruitless time at Texas Tech or that RMK's mid-game commentary is often more off-base than his foul language. They constantly press Indiana University to allow Knight back into the fold even though Knight refuses to bury the hatchet himself.

Forced to love him from afar, The Cult of RMK daftly believes everything their Dear Leader says. Part of me wants to pity them for being delusional; part of me feels bad for the new wave of Indiana University basketball fans who are trying to move on to successful times with Coach Crean without having to be reminded of Knight's shadow.

But mostly I laugh at the fools. #iulol.

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