What They Don't Tell You In Baby Class

They say “write what you know.” Right about now all I know is that the Roush House is about to add another baby to the mix.

Baby No. 3 was kind enough to wait until the conclusion of SEC Media Days to arrive. The third time still feels like the first time in many ways. There’s a feeling of nervousness mixed in with excitement that is all-consuming. There’s an uneasiness in all of the right ways, especially when you do it the old-fashioned way and wait until game time to learn the baby’s sex.

The one thing that’s dramatically different now than it was in the spring of 2020 (COVID-19 aside) is confidence. My wife and I have done this before. We think we know what we’re doing. What I’ve gathered from my first two experiences with newborns is that there are a few things they will never teach you in baby classes.

1. Women are Tough as Hell

You may know what the Kentucky football team looks like on paper, but it’s not the same thing as seeing them in action. The same applies to childbirth. We may have skipped the reproductive system in my high school anatomy class, but I knew the mechanics of it all. It’s nothing to what a woman endures to bring a life into this world.

Following the birth of my first son, I had to issue an apology to my Mother. There’s no way of truly understanding what it’s like until you see it, and boy, does it change your perspective. Shout out to all the Moms. You’re way tougher than me.

2. Learning How to Take 10-Minute Naps Rocks

You’ve probably heard an acquaintance say at some point in time, “I wish I could take naps, but I just can’t.” There’s a not-so-easy way to learn how to inject energy into your veins by closing your eyes in a recliner for 10 minutes. The baby-induced sleep deprivation is real, but power naps are the gift that ensures you can keep giving your all to your child.

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3. Changing Baby Diapers Isn’t Hard

Sitcom writers in the early 90s made changing diapers the critical component of baby prep for every dumbfounded doofus. Laugh tracks accompanied their missteps until the sappy music played with a heartfelt monologue from the male character.

Changing diapers is the easiest part of parenting.

This might have been different before the proliferation of disposable diapers, but I can’t understand why pop culture emphasizes the importance of baby preparation when it comes to diaper changing. It’s no different than tying your shoes. Sure, there might be a big mess here and there that’s disgusting, but it pales in comparison to the messes you’ll clean up elsewhere in the years to come.

4. You’ll Figure it Out

There is so much anxiety surrounding the addition of your first child. You’re planning for the unknown. There are plenty of books to help (I highly recommend 12 Hours of Sleep by 12 Weeks Old) but that might not be enough to provide reassurance.

Every baby is different, just like every person is different. The doctors and nurses can’t make the perfect gameplan for everyone. The good news is you don’t need it to survive with a newborn. All you need is love.

If you love that kid, you’re going to do whatever it takes to make ’em happy. If that means dancing with them to the sound of marching band music, you’ll do it. If you gotta walk outside to let ’em hear the birds to calm down, you’ll do it. The baby will cry and that’s alright. Babies are almost as tough as Mothers. You will find a way to find way, no matter how challenging it may feel at the time and that’s something every new parent needs to hear.