Tyrique Stevenson blog: Yes I watched my punt return mistake on replay as soon as I got home, and yes it was an emotional response

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CB Tyrique Stevenson will have a weekly blog all season at CaneSport.com. In this edition, Stevenson talks about the Texas A&M game and its aftermath, including his punt return error that wound up leading to an Aggies TD and how he handled that.

I OWE MY TEAMMATES AFTER MY PUNT RETURN MISTAKE, AND YES I WATCHED IT AGAIN WHEN I GOT HOME

No lie, I just want to thank my teammates. After that mistake I’m pretty sure you could see it, they put the camera on me and everything. You could see me down, you could see my head down, you could see me second-guessing myself. Just having my teammates, even coach Cristobal come up to me and just tell me `We trust you.’ And just me to myself, everybody makes mistakes, and having my teammates come around me and encourage me like `Come on Rique, we’ve got you.’ It was a mistake, it is what it is. Everybody makes them, you’re not perfect. So just having them come around me and just get that little bit of encouragement. But even in myself, I was just taking a little time out to beat myself up. You’re a vet, older guy, you’ve been in many situations like that before, you should have made a smarter choice.

But I just had to realize it was a lot more of the game left and that could add up to more and more and more and then I could just let the team down. So that’s pretty much what it was. I know the team, that the younger guys are looking up to me and I’m a leader. So if they see me dragging around being upset and down then that won’t be anything but contagious. And we don’t need that. So pretty much that’s what it was, realize what the situation was. I accepted the situation and pretty much just told myself `Let’s work now, let’s do whatever, all we can to get back on defense and pretty much try to eliminate that mistake as best you can.’ And the best way I thought that was – to go out there and continue playing hard.

And once I got home, sat on the couch, I took a deep breath and I actually watched it just to see it, just to give myself that feeling. Because I actually did put it behind me. I actually kind of blanked it out. I didn’t realize I really did that till the end of the game because I was so focused on `Just let me finish the game and have the best game I can despite the mistake.’ I got home and just watched it, still beating myself up about it and just accepted the fact that it happened. Everybody makes mistakes, but I felt like that made me even go a little more hard, you know?

For me watching it at home, at first it was an emotional response. Like `Damn, I kind of put us in a bad situation, let my team down with one simple mistake.’ But at the same time I looked at it as the emotions went away and I reminded myself that everybody makes mistakes. People I look up to in the league still make mistakes to this day. It’s just a natural human being thing. That’s when the business kicked in: Okay, you made a mistake, know what you did wrong, what you have to fix, now let’s go, get to work and fix it.

As for what actually happened on the play, it was just `Let’s make a play,’ `Let’s do something that can put my team in a great situation and be able to lead this game.’ So that’s what it was. When I looked down for the ball the guy was actually far, but that second bounce I should have made a business decision and jumped out of the way. I was trying to be a hero, which was bad, in the game of football you should let the game of football come to you. Just trying to do too much in a small situation that I could have been smarter in. It was a case of `Let’s go out here, do something heroic, iconic to help the team,’ and it backfired. Just a decision I have to learn from.

WE DIDN’T REALIZE UNTIL AFTER THE GAME THAT THE STARTING DBS PLAYED ALMOST EVERY REP

Last year the majority of every game I played every snap, it’s something you get comfortable with. We’d rotated a bit the first two games in the secondary, but this game it was the James Williams and Kam Kinchens at safety, me and DJ Ivey at corner and Te’Cory Couch at STAR/nickel. And TC did a great job, he’s a great player also. You can’t take away from his talent and what he’s been doing. He went out there and did a great job. I was telling TC `Not too many people can hold Ainias Smith and you did your job, catches happen, but you did your job.’

Me and the other DBs, we didn’t realize till the end of the game that despite the loss and how we felt – we were like `We just played the whole game! And we kind of played man the whole game. And we did a great job.’ With everything else that was going on we were proud of ourselves as a group.

For me, playing every rep doesn’t really make me play better or worse. Just being an older guy, you never know when you’ll be put in those situations where you have to play the whole game … or you might have to take a few plays off and get right back in. You cannot lose a step, have to refocus yourself. But at the same time being in every rep makes you stay on top of your game, makes you realize `Okay, I’m out here every play, so that means there’s a 50/50 chance that something cannot go my way. So let’s make that a 75 or 100 percent chance that this goes my way.’ It just makes you lock in a lot more.

You play every snap you do get tired, but I don’t’ think you have time to realize how tired you actually are. It’s so many things going on, and then you’re coming to the sideline and you’re not just sitting down. You’re actually adjusting, getting adjustments from the coaches. So you don’t realize you’re tired, but we all felt it the next day, you know?

KEVIN STEELE WAS PROUD OF US

Kevin Steele’s message to us after the game? Keep going. You know, things didn’t go the way we planned, there were a bunch of things that went into it. But we have a hell of a defense, he’s proud of the way we fought to the last play, proud of the way we went out there and didn’t fold over, roll over. He was happy and excited about the way we  went out there and played as a whole, how we encouraged the offense and how we just locked in as a defense.

This year’s defense, it’s just everything combined is working well – transfers, the new defense, all of it. With the mentality coach Cristobal is putting in, the new defense and the mentality coach Steele is putting in. It trickles down through all the coaches. Just the energy of the coaches, they don’t allow us to be under the standards and also want us to make the standard higher each day and just try to do better. Just the mindset and the culture that these coaches brought in gives us a little more motivation to go out there and play harder. And then on top of that it’s why wouldn’t you want to go out and play hard for the next man, you know? Why wouldn’t you want to go out and play hard with this defense? And I feel like everybody on this defense knows if we all play hard and do our job we’ll be one of the best defenses in the nation. So I feel like that’s pretty much what it is. We all know we can contribute to being one of the best defenses in the nation.

PLAYERS ON DEFENSE WERE GOING OVER AND ENCOURAGING OFFENSIVE PLAYERS DURING THE GAME

Everybody on the defense went over a couple of times to the offense `They got us, keep going, we got you all, this is a back and forth thing.’ And they come over, too, when they see we had a bad drive, see a couple of plays don’t go right for us. They come over and cheer us up, too.

I stop by the receivers, a field goal or good drive I go by the offensive line, clap them up, tell them `Good job, appreciate you!’ Receivers make a good play, running backs – it’s a different group every time I walk down there. I go down and let them know I appreciate them for what they’re doing. I tell them `We’ve got you all!’

This past game I went up to Tyler Van Dyke, Jacolby George, Romello Brinson, the running backs, Rooster, a bunch of people in each group and told them the same thing, keep doing your thing and we’ve got you.

With Tyler, you give him encouragement and he gives it right back – `Appreciate it, and I have got you all, too.’ It’s a thing of acknowledging that we are here for one another.

THE MOOD ON THE TRIP BACK

It was hurtful and it was quiet, but I felt like everybody knew we left a lot on that field, a lot of mistakes that hurt ourselves, including myself. It was just a real quiet feeling, but at the same time we knew we left a lot on that field and have a lot more stuff to work on.

WHAT LIES AHEAD NOW

We’re focused on being 1-0 each week now. The mood of the team I wouldn’t say it’s dropped. We’re not sad, are not feeling sorry for ourselves. We know we left a lot on that field. So let’s focus on the next thing, focus on how we can beat this team this week. The past is in the past, we can’t go back. So let’s focus on how we can get better this week.