Remorseful Michigan coach Juwan Howard: 'I was truly upset with myself'
Michigan coach Juwan Howard knows he can’t undo what happened in the handshake line at Wisconsin weeks ago, an altercation in which he struck Badgers assistant Joe Krabbenhoft. But he can move forward, and that’s what he intends to do.
RELATED: WolverineTV – Howard meets the media
Howard, suspended five games by Michigan and the Big Ten following his team’s 77-63 loss in Madison last month, was emotional in his first meeting with the media since being reinstated Monday. He’ll coach the Wolverines in the postseason after associate head coach Phil Martelli guided the team to a 3-2 record.
“I can come with 1,000 excuses, but I will not,” Howard said Wednesday. “I take full ownership for my actions. I can talk about the timeout. We can discuss the pull on the arm. We can talk about the words exchanged with coaches. All that would be excuses. The main thing is, that was not the right way to carry myself as a head coach at a fine institution like the University of Michigan.
“I was truly upset with myself during that two weeks and did soul-searching how I can improve. When I talk about my team being one percent better, that applies to me, too. So during that two weeks, I reflected on the moment at Wisconsin and how I can be better as the head coach here.”
Howard added he started therapy during his time off. More than anything, he was thrilled to get back to his team.
“I’m extremely happy about being back here,” he said. “Today was a wonderful day to get an opportunity to coach my team, who I missed so much during these past two weeks. … During that time, I reflected on the moment at Wisconsin, but also how I can be better as the best version of myself as a head coach here. Better as a person and better as a coach.”
He apologized to Krabbenhoft, later saying he hoped he would get the opportunity to walk up to him and say ‘sorry’ to his face.
“That doesn’t mean I won’t do the same with [Badgers head coach] Greg Gard and others,” the Michigan coach continued. “I will continue to grow. I’m not going to be perfect. I know there’s going to be a big microscope on me every time I coach. What are my emotions like; how I’m going to communicate with my players.
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“I will tell you this. I know I’m not a perfect person. With the mistake I made, I will try to improve. … But there was growth, and I have learned from the process. And I will continue to keep learning.”
Howard also admitted he knew on the bus after his postgame press conference he made a mistake in the way he handled himself. Rather than take responsibility for his actions, he made the excuses he acknowledged today.
“What I said wasn’t from the heart,” he said. “As you know, the next day after reflecting and thinking about it, that statement I made came from the heart. That’s what I meant to say, and I apologized for my actions.”
He thanked everyone from associate head coach Phil Martelli and assistants Howard Eisley and Saddi Washington to the support staff and managers for trekking on without him. He was grateful, too, for the support he received from his fellow Michigan coaches of other sports.
“It was great to know [I have] friends, not just here … but coaches here at the University of Michigan. Head coaches, assistant coaches, managers,” he said. “They’ve been supportive through the process. They’ve gotten a chance to know me, know where my heart is.
“Knowing that Coach [Jim] Harbaugh, Kim [Barnes-Arico], Mike Bottom, Sean [Bormet] … the list goes on. We’ve had conversations, texts back and forth. There’s nothing like knowing your Michigan family [supports you], and that’s what I got from it. They all love me, and I love them, too.”