Texas Longhorns Football: Recovering from a dire case of 'too much birthday'

I’m on the couch, surrounded by half-opened presents and wrapping paper. After four pieces of cake, my shirt is stained, and the “Happy Birthday” banner hangs by one side. I sit alone, half-heartedly blowing a party horn in the dark. Should I sleep? No. Should I get up? I can’t. Too much birthday.

Too much football.

That’s how Texas fans feel post-Georgia. The feeling doesn’t come just from the game and its disappointment but from the non-stop consumption of Longhorn-related hype and fervor. From August until the Bulldogs took a 23-0 lead, the buildup around the Longhorns hit a frenetic pace—a deafening roar.

Most of it was deserved; Texas was playing fantastic. Three touchdowns allowed through six games. Blowouts of Michigan and Oklahoma. Two star quarterbacks in Quinn Ewers and Arch Manning. NFL-caliber players everywhere. A No. 1 ranking. The SEC was ready to pin a sheriff’s badge on Texas after they put the Bulldogs in the pound. Had Texas completed the comeback against Georgia, I might have been worthless this week, continuing to gorge on the hype. I would’ve watched the game 47 times and gotten a tattoo of a chili-bowled fraternity guy hitting Kirby Smart with a Dasani bottle.

Despite the brief moment of hope in the third quarter, the game was one you quickly want to forget. It reminded me of an NFL game where two evenly matched teams play, and the one with the better game plan jumps out early and holds on. Texas fans just have to hope the Longhorns get another crack at Georgia this season and that it goes better.

Bill Simmons once wrote a legendary column about the “levels of losing.” Texas has had plenty of unforgettable losses over the last 15 years, but this wasn’t one of them. The Georgia loss was a thumping you hope Texas learns from—especially Ewers and Steve Sarkisian. But it wasn’t a program indictment.

Still, now that Texas has lost that No. 1 spot, the fear creeps in, as does the need to guard our feeble fan hearts. The media turns on your team, your quarterback, they burn the flowers that they were just laying at your feet.

Us fans? You start to see ghosts (like Ewers seems to do navigating the pocket) and recall heartbreaking Big 12 losses, wondering if Vanderbilt could be that wolf in sheep’s clothing, with gamer quarterback Diego Pavia serving as Texas’ tormentor like quarterbacks of seasons past. None of that was even a thought last week. When the Longhorns were No. 1, it created this ravenous urge to hoard every Texas-related piece of content like a dragon collecting treasure.

But once that mystique is broken, you realize they’re just trinkets. Now, there’s no joy in watching Oklahoma crumble when you need to separate from your own team.* It’s time to push away the podcasts, articles, and social media clips like they’re leftovers I can’t consume. But in these moments of Too Much Birthday, Too Much Football, you can start to see clearly what this season could still become.

The Longhorns can still be a legendary group, as Michael Taaffe has said they want to be. Though we associate legends with invincibility, that’s not true. Teams you remember forever are forged in fire, fighting through adversity. Fans dreaming of a perfect record were fooling themselves—undefeated champions are likely gone with conference realignment and an expanded playoff. National champions may start having two, maybe three losses, especially once the SEC forces its members to play nine-game schedules. The Longhorn defense has shown it’s elite but will have to contend with depth issues in the safety room. Luckily, Andrew Mukuba avoided serious injury.

On offense, it all starts with getting Ewers right. Restoring his downfield passing threat at 10-20 yards will be key so Texas can lean on Tre Wisner and start testing Jaydon Blue. Texas played complementary football all season until Georgia, where struggles in the offensive line, Ewers (and Manning), and special teams (behind a backup punter) doomed the Longhorns.

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Georgia, meanwhile, put on a clinic in Sark’s own philosophy. If Ewers can’t get right mentally and physically, then things get interesting for him, for Sark, and for Manning. But if he can, Texas should roll past a frisky Commodores team and get back on track for another bye week, then an SEC stretch run which includes some dates with old friends. The truths about this team still remain despite one blip: elite complementary football, a defense that travels, an offensive line that travels, veteran quarterback play which travels. Texas will go to Nashville and show that place that we’re the superior city for bachelorette parties, not them, not now, not ever. The unadulterated hype might be gone now, the birthday party over, but the dreams still remain.

It’s time to get off the couch.

Texas 41, Vanderbilt 16

*That’s a lie. Welcome to the desert, Sooners. We hope you’ll stay awhile.