Hey SPS. Longtime reader, first time poster. In a few weeks, my wife and I will be having our first child. My company has a new parental leave policy that is really awesome for the dads(new age equality = not so bad). Anyways, I'm thinking my wife wouldn't be too big of a fan of me taking advantage of the time off and working on my golf game while the baby sleeps so what else would be better time spent than by smoking glorious cuts of meat? I'm open to any and all meat smoking recipes and fatherly advice!
1st time Father
- Thread starter OktocDawg
- Start date
I’m good at coming up with baby names if u need any help.
When you bring the baby home keep the TV and music turned up to normal levels. In fact make all the same noise you normally do. They need to learn to live with you. Not the other way around.
“The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” - John Wooden
I can’t say it any better than that.
I can’t say it any better than that.
If you are going to bottle feed, one of my favorite times at that age was waking up early during the British Open and laying there with her in my arms watching golf. It was a win win win. It was peaceful watching a fun tournament, bonding with my daughter, and letting my wife sleep in.
I timed our first baby for this October, so they could experience maximum screaming during the most frustrating part of football season
After about 2 weeks at home with a newborn and wife, you'll be begging to go back to work. Trust me.
As far as smoking meats, it sounds like maybe you haven't done it much before? If so I'd stick to pork butt - it's pretty easy, very forgiving, and if you do screw it up you're not out much money.
If your wife had smoked your meat to begin with, ya wouldn't be in this situation.
Sorry, had to.
I feel like you’ve already told your wife that you have a good bit of time off, which was a mistake. By the end of the first week, you’ll be longing for your office where you can shut the door and be alone! Only partially kidding about that… I only took a week off with both my kids but lived close enough to work to come home for lunch, so I was able to drop by for an hour or so to allow my wife some time away during the day. Being around to help in whatever way your wife needs you is probably the best thing you can do, especially if she is planning to breast feed. But a lot of the time, you’ll probably be bored.
Best advice I can give after 2 kids (now 9 and 3), is to realize that the sleepless nights and other baby frustrations don’t last near as long as you think they do when you’re in the middle of it. There will definitely be times at 3 AM when you’re holding a screaming baby that you’ll be wondering why you did this. But before you know they are walking and crawling. Despite my half jokes in this post, enjoy being a father. It really is the best and I couldn’t imagine not having children.
I’m a little leary of a first time poster/about to be father asking for tips on cooking a 7-8lb hunk of meat
Look up Malcolm Reeds How to BBQ Right on Facebook and YouTube. You can spend hours upon hours learning. You can just look at that man and know he can cook.
Only meat you'll be handling for awhile. Be all you can be!
I've done several butts and a couple briskets. Kept it basic though. Just wondering how everyone else likes to cook them. Plan is to vacuum seal a bunch of food for those evenings when we're dead tired and don't want to cook.
I became a dad last July, baby girl celebrates her first birthday in just under a month. Some tips from someone who’s still pretty new at this:
1. Support the heck out of your wife. This is going to be a tough transition for her in so many different ways. Be prepared to pick up more slack on things around the house. If you think you’re tired, your wife will be 20 times more exhausted, especially if she breast feeds. She’s also going to need a lot of emotional support and affirmation.
2. Do not feel remotely obligated to have all your friends and family over ASAP so they can see the baby. Take your time and do it whenever you and your wife are ready, don’t be in any rush whatsoever.
3. Baby poop is weird, gross, and changes textures within the first couple of months. Good luck on your future diaper endeavors.
4. This is a really special time in your life. It won’t always be easy, but try to savor it. I often think back on how little my daughter used to be and how amazing it felt to rock to sleep when she was first born. It’s still amazing even at 11 months old, but there’s something uniquely different about those early days and weeks.
1. Support the heck out of your wife. This is going to be a tough transition for her in so many different ways. Be prepared to pick up more slack on things around the house. If you think you’re tired, your wife will be 20 times more exhausted, especially if she breast feeds. She’s also going to need a lot of emotional support and affirmation.
2. Do not feel remotely obligated to have all your friends and family over ASAP so they can see the baby. Take your time and do it whenever you and your wife are ready, don’t be in any rush whatsoever.
3. Baby poop is weird, gross, and changes textures within the first couple of months. Good luck on your future diaper endeavors.
4. This is a really special time in your life. It won’t always be easy, but try to savor it. I often think back on how little my daughter used to be and how amazing it felt to rock to sleep when she was first born. It’s still amazing even at 11 months old, but there’s something uniquely different about those early days and weeks.
You are about to receive one of God's Greatest Gifts. Everything else will be secondary. Congratulations and God Bless You & Your Family.
DC with good points here.
I’ll just add that it’s important to remove said diapers/poop before cooking
Your family needs to eat. It’s your responsibility as a father to provide. If it’s spring time, go harvest turkeys for the supper table. If summer, harvest bass and bream. If winter, then deer.
Don’t get too close to where the action takes place during delivery. Stay up high, you don’t want to see what’s going on down there. Make a lot of eye contact with your wife during delivery, but also make sure the TV is on something good as well.
Fatherly advice: Start changing poopy diapers the day the little gal/fellar comes home. This will prepare you as they will slowly get nastier and stinkier!
Not too soon but when she/he is about 9 months to 6 -8 years old, every Saturday morning - (except in the Fall and State home games) - when she/he wakes up, let your wife sleep in until whenever but instead of sitting around the house with your daughter or son, get them dressed, go to Chick Fil A for breakfast, (teach them Hail Dear Ol State on the way)
let them play in the play area, when they tire of that, go to Home Depot or Lowe’s, walk around with them, put in a buggy, whatever is easiest, do your shopping.
Then when that’s done, take the vehicle, (preferably your wife’s) go thru the car wash and preferably one that y’all get out, get to watch it thru the wash and have them clean inside real good too.
By then it’s about 11- 11:30 AM, call your wife and see what she wants for lunch, pick that up and man you’re set for the rest of the weekend.
Plus you build some invaluable, quality time with your child and they never forget it.
You’ll look back one day and say man I miss those Saturday morning outings with ……
And it goes by REAL QUICK!
let them play in the play area, when they tire of that, go to Home Depot or Lowe’s, walk around with them, put in a buggy, whatever is easiest, do your shopping.
Then when that’s done, take the vehicle, (preferably your wife’s) go thru the car wash and preferably one that y’all get out, get to watch it thru the wash and have them clean inside real good too.
By then it’s about 11- 11:30 AM, call your wife and see what she wants for lunch, pick that up and man you’re set for the rest of the weekend.
Plus you build some invaluable, quality time with your child and they never forget it.
You’ll look back one day and say man I miss those Saturday morning outings with ……
And it goes by REAL QUICK!
Freezer is slam full. Just hoping the wife will let me keep it full this winter
I don't think you can screw it up. I can't recommend turbo butts enough. 325° for 5-6 hours 8 lbs butt. Better bark, super tender, and all the juices are in the pan for tossing with the shredded meat.
We need more details on what you're cooking on for exact recipes. Fun meats to play with:
Beef ribs, aka Dino ribs. Go to the butcher counter at the grocery and ask for the beef short rib plate. It should be 3 bones in the plate and about 12-14" long. Go hotter than brisket but treat it pretty much the same.
Pork belly. I like marinating it in Vietnamese flavors, smoking it like a brisket, then slicing and crisping on a griddle or skillet for bahn mi sammy's. Pickle some carrots and daikon as well.
Homemade sausage. If you have a KitchenAid mixer you can grind meat with it. Going to need a stuffer and some other ingredients. Iyou want to get into it, its fantastic and fun. Chuds BBQ on YouTube has great videos to teach you what's what. I smoked the last of my homemade patty melt flavor sausages (a long with a brisket and butt) yesterday and vac sealed em for quick reheat in the sous vide for a 3 week RV trip. They are killer.
You ain't gonna be doing a damn thing other than taking care of the baby if your wife had post-partum like mine did. I did most everything except breast-feed for about a month.
Sorry to be negative but that was my only-child experience. Be prepared for the possibility....
Man, golf some!
give her some free time then you take some.
Fyi: I’m not a father and never been married!
Just do your part and make sure she knows you are there anytime she needs you. Being supportive without being overbearing is easy... listen, but don't be afraid to ask. Newborn Moms compete with every other mother out there and sometimes stretch themselves thin.
I started getting her a little happy surprise during that time. It might not be more than a little bag of chocolate left inside her purse. I still like to do this. I got her a lightweight purple summer dress and left it in her recliner to find when she got home from work. We're starting the 100-degree temps this week, and she loves them
I started getting her a little happy surprise during that time. It might not be more than a little bag of chocolate left inside her purse. I still like to do this. I got her a lightweight purple summer dress and left it in her recliner to find when she got home from work. We're starting the 100-degree temps this week, and she loves them
Hemingway say, “Don’t look at the baby for 2 years”.
Of course, he wasn’t exactly the modern day estrogen laden ‘hubbie’.
At times I share threads and posts with my wife, this will definitely not make the cut.
How do I post a half-sarcasterisk?
Don't force naps on the kid. So many people want to put a baby to sleep around 8 or so. My wife naturally prefers to go to bed earlier than I did. She was ready between 9 and 10 and I rarely go to sleep before midnight. So I would have bonding time with my daughters from when my wife went to sleep until I put them down. They quickly got to where they would get up around 6 when my wife was getting up. Now they might fall asleep a little in my arms watching TV, but it wasn't quiet time. We had very little of 3 am screaming unless they were sick.
I’m probably far enough away that I can’t give the best advice, but reading through the comments, things I’d agree with or add:
1) congrats and enjoy it. It won’t always be easy but it is great and a blessing.
2) don’t assume a baby being fussy is normal. We had an awful time at first and just thought “babies cry” because of all the negative joking about babies. Turns out it was a minor medical issue and our dubmasses let the baby suffer and make us miserable. If feeding, swaddling, rocking, removing from stimulation, etc doesn’t stop it, ask questions.
3) Do be ready for post partum depression. My wife’s was very intense but pretty short for every kid. Probably short in part because it was too intense for her to hide it and we had the doctor help address it.
4) As you are obviously aware, you actually will have a good bit of “free” time around the house, particularly until they stop napping. Smoking meat and other slow cooking techniques are a great way to pass the time. In hindsight, if I had had the money to burn, I would have put in a practice green at the house. But things like learning an instrument or learning a language or just learning the **** out of things helpful for your job are also good options.
5) there is a balance between putting the baby on a schedule and having the baby adjust to you. It’s nice being able to stay out past 7:30. It’s also nice being able to put the baby to bed on time consistently. We thought we were smart when we could basically take our first kid anywhere at anytime and it be great. We were less impressed with ourselves when we couldn’t get anybody to bed on time at 3 years old.
6) What’s healthy for the relationship with your wife will generally be healthy for the kid(s). Get back to going on regular dates as quickly as possible. I see a lot of women and to a lesser extent men use having a child as an excuse to let themselves go and view their spouse as relatively unimportant compared to the kids. If there is a house fire, sure, save the kids first. But generally, it should be spouse first and kids second if you want to do what is ultimately best for the kids.
7) If you don't already do it, both of you need to start exercising regularly. If you do already do it, don't use having the baby as an excuse to stop. It's going to be hard when it gets more hectic and it will be much harder if you don't have some sort of routine/habit already.
8) With respect to company policy on parental leave, I would see if you can break it up. Have had friends that had the wife take 12 weeks FMLA and the father take the first week at home, and then take the rest of their time after the wife finished their 12 weeks, so the kid gets anywhere from 14 to 18 weeks at home before doing daycare.
1) congrats and enjoy it. It won’t always be easy but it is great and a blessing.
2) don’t assume a baby being fussy is normal. We had an awful time at first and just thought “babies cry” because of all the negative joking about babies. Turns out it was a minor medical issue and our dubmasses let the baby suffer and make us miserable. If feeding, swaddling, rocking, removing from stimulation, etc doesn’t stop it, ask questions.
3) Do be ready for post partum depression. My wife’s was very intense but pretty short for every kid. Probably short in part because it was too intense for her to hide it and we had the doctor help address it.
4) As you are obviously aware, you actually will have a good bit of “free” time around the house, particularly until they stop napping. Smoking meat and other slow cooking techniques are a great way to pass the time. In hindsight, if I had had the money to burn, I would have put in a practice green at the house. But things like learning an instrument or learning a language or just learning the **** out of things helpful for your job are also good options.
5) there is a balance between putting the baby on a schedule and having the baby adjust to you. It’s nice being able to stay out past 7:30. It’s also nice being able to put the baby to bed on time consistently. We thought we were smart when we could basically take our first kid anywhere at anytime and it be great. We were less impressed with ourselves when we couldn’t get anybody to bed on time at 3 years old.
6) What’s healthy for the relationship with your wife will generally be healthy for the kid(s). Get back to going on regular dates as quickly as possible. I see a lot of women and to a lesser extent men use having a child as an excuse to let themselves go and view their spouse as relatively unimportant compared to the kids. If there is a house fire, sure, save the kids first. But generally, it should be spouse first and kids second if you want to do what is ultimately best for the kids.
7) If you don't already do it, both of you need to start exercising regularly. If you do already do it, don't use having the baby as an excuse to stop. It's going to be hard when it gets more hectic and it will be much harder if you don't have some sort of routine/habit already.
8) With respect to company policy on parental leave, I would see if you can break it up. Have had friends that had the wife take 12 weeks FMLA and the father take the first week at home, and then take the rest of their time after the wife finished their 12 weeks, so the kid gets anywhere from 14 to 18 weeks at home before doing daycare.
DO you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?
If not, like Scott Van Pelt said on his "One Big Thing" segment a few years ago - "Root for a girl". As a dad to twin girls who had their 13th birthday this past Saturday, I'll say I wouldn't change a thing. At the time I did say I didn't care if they were boys or girls, but deep down inside I might have wanted a boy. I was wrong. Quoting Scott Van Pelt:
“To any man out there who’s about to become a dad for the first time. Maybe you grew up in sports, like me. Maybe you’re thinking you want a boy. And I get it, I do. That was me. And my sons are a joy to me. But let me tell you a secret, fellas.
Root for them to tell you it’s a girl. There’s no greater love than you’ll ever know and nothing that will change your world view more than holding a little girl and imagining the world through her eyes – wanting to be, for her, the very best version of yourself in the hopes that you might be worthy of the way she looks at you. Being worth being adored by her.”
ESPN's Scott Van Pelt Tells Expectant Dads to 'Root For a Girl'
SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt expressed his love for his daughter, and how he'd initially wanted a son, in a touching video.
www.thedad.com
Congrats! There's lot of great advice in this thread. I'll add a few things from my experience:
Don't compare your kid to other kids - they'll develop at their own pace. That said, don't be afraid to take the kid to the doctor. Better to be seen as an over-cautious parent than to miss something that would be easier to address with earlier intervention. Hopefully you don't need the second part of that advice but as the parent of an autistic child, I'm grateful someone told it to my wife and me.
You may hear this one a lot but it's true (especially for your wife): sleep when the baby sleeps. Beyond the basics, chores can wait. You can always wash the dishes later. You can't go back and get sleep that you missed (and you're going to miss a lot for a few months).
Relatedly... Let people help - especially family and close friends. After our first son was born, and after I'd gone back to work, my wife's best friend started coming over on her lunch break a couple times a week and just doing a load of laundry or putting dishes in the dishwasher for us. It was a simple thing but made such a difference for my wife, who was able to rest a little.
This is another one that may not apply to you (and thankfully didn't really apply to me) but I've seen issues with some friends/family: As others have said, your life is going to change. Your wife's life is going to change. You may need to put your ego aside and realize your priorities are now No. 1 wife, No. 2 baby and you are now a very distant third. I have a cousin who very nearly got divorced after his first kid was born because he didn't want to give up playing golf with his buddies every weekend. It basically took an intervention from some family members to make him realize how selfish he was being.
Don't compare your kid to other kids - they'll develop at their own pace. That said, don't be afraid to take the kid to the doctor. Better to be seen as an over-cautious parent than to miss something that would be easier to address with earlier intervention. Hopefully you don't need the second part of that advice but as the parent of an autistic child, I'm grateful someone told it to my wife and me.
You may hear this one a lot but it's true (especially for your wife): sleep when the baby sleeps. Beyond the basics, chores can wait. You can always wash the dishes later. You can't go back and get sleep that you missed (and you're going to miss a lot for a few months).
Relatedly... Let people help - especially family and close friends. After our first son was born, and after I'd gone back to work, my wife's best friend started coming over on her lunch break a couple times a week and just doing a load of laundry or putting dishes in the dishwasher for us. It was a simple thing but made such a difference for my wife, who was able to rest a little.
This is another one that may not apply to you (and thankfully didn't really apply to me) but I've seen issues with some friends/family: As others have said, your life is going to change. Your wife's life is going to change. You may need to put your ego aside and realize your priorities are now No. 1 wife, No. 2 baby and you are now a very distant third. I have a cousin who very nearly got divorced after his first kid was born because he didn't want to give up playing golf with his buddies every weekend. It basically took an intervention from some family members to make him realize how selfish he was being.
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I first read this as "ask IT questions."
I can assure you this doesn't work.
It's also quite all right to say things in your head to your child, such as, "Okay. That's enough. Time to man up and deal with it." Well, I assume this is okay, I've only been doing this for 4 months. I could be a complete psychopath.
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