AKB: Difficult Question... "When do you know it's time to say goodbye to your dog?"

[EricStratton-RushChairman]

Our Brittany Spaniel, "Marcus Aurelius", is 15-ish (we think, rescued him in 2010). He has been beyond wonderful. Extremely loving, smart, trouble free. He and I have probably walked 10,000 miles together. Now he is fading quickly. Totally deaf, clear confusion/dementia most of the day, occasionally going to bathroom on rug. Also has random nosebleeds. Vet has not determined anything terminal like cancer, etc... He can still jump up on couch but stairs are out of the question. Really heartbreaking to watch. My last dog was a Golden (named Nittany) and he suddenly dropped dead of cancer at age 9, so this is my first real experience with this slow fade to the end. One minute my wife screams at having to shampoo the carpets almost daily, but when I bring up putting him down she refused to even consider it.

When is it time to say goodbye?

 

[Zenophile]

Unfortunately was in your position earlier this year. And I’m sorry that you’re here now. We invested in puppy pads, re-engaged a few baby gates and used mobility as our alpha metric.

 

[Bosco2]

Our Brittany Spaniel, "Marcus Aurelius", is 15-ish (we think, rescued him in 2010). He has been beyond wonderful. Extremely loving, smart, trouble free. He and I have probably walked 10,000 miles together. Now he is fading quickly. Totally deaf, clear confusion/dementia most of the day, occasionally going to bathroom on rug. Also has random nosebleeds. Vet has not determined anything terminal like cancer, etc... He can still jump up on couch but stairs are out of the question. Really heartbreaking to watch. My last dog was a Golden (named Nittany) and he suddenly dropped dead of cancer at age 9, so this is my first real experience with this slow fade to the end. One minute my wife screams at having to shampoo the carpets almost daily, but when I bring up putting him down she refused to even consider it.

When is it time to say goodbye?

View attachment 626006

Trying not to sound heartless, but it seems that it's that time. Your dog is in pain. My son has a 17 year old Italian Greyhound pretty much in the same state and he won't give him up. It's sad as hell to watch that poor dog.

 

[Zenophile]

Seems noteworthy that ours was also a rescue. And though labeled a "lab beagle" and looked the part, I had the DNA done last year. Genotypically Cassiopeia was primarily Brittany Spaniel (and 0% lab or beagle). I share this because we estimate that she was also 15.

 

[s1uggo72]

Trying not to sound heartless, but it seems that it's that time. Your dog is in pain. My son has a 17 year old Italian Greyhound pretty much in the same state and he won't give him up. It's sad as hell to watch that poor dog.

I agree. We’ve had to do that twice it’s not easy. But most times we keep them around it’s for us, not the dog. When they can’t be fun, walk with you etc it’s time. Prepare yourself and be kind to your best friend.

 

[LionJim]

I agree. We’ve had to do that twice it’s not easy. But most times we keep them around it’s for us, not the dog. When they can’t be fun, walk with you etc it’s time. Prepare yourself and be kind to your best friend.

You’re a good man, Sluggo. Yeah, it’s not complicated but it’s very very hard to say goodbye to a beautiful creature who worships the ground you walk on.

 

[Waaaaaaaany]

I've never had dogs, but I 've had to do this with 3 cats. It's better to do it when you THINK they're suffering than when you KNOW they are suffering. The first cat I waited to long til she was really suffering, I didn't want to be there when they euthanized her so I dropped her off and left. Two things I will forever regret for the rest of my life. I'll also add that you'll see it in their eyes, the eyes always tell

 

[retsio]

Penny was a large St Bernard for my daughters, at the end with many internal problems -finally laid down, closed her eyes and would not get up. I will always second guess myself for waiting until the very end, but the closure for my daughters to see Penny now at peace ..... maybe that is the understanding that was needed.

 

[rigi19040]

Tough one. I cant answer for you.

For me I was hoping my last one would go in his sleep. It did not happen. I should have taken him in one day sooner. I regret that.

 

[Steve JG]

Our Brittany Spaniel, "Marcus Aurelius", is 15-ish (we think, rescued him in 2010). He has been beyond wonderful. Extremely loving, smart, trouble free. He and I have probably walked 10,000 miles together. Now he is fading quickly. Totally deaf, clear confusion/dementia most of the day, occasionally going to bathroom on rug. Also has random nosebleeds. Vet has not determined anything terminal like cancer, etc... He can still jump up on couch but stairs are out of the question. Really heartbreaking to watch. My last dog was a Golden (named Nittany) and he suddenly dropped dead of cancer at age 9, so this is my first real experience with this slow fade to the end. One minute my wife screams at having to shampoo the carpets almost daily, but when I bring up putting him down she refused to even consider it.

When is it time to say goodbye?

View attachment 626006

feeding and mobility are key. If they stop eating or are much less interested in food, and when they cannot move easily and support themselves while relieving them selves.

 

[Tgar]

Our Brittany Spaniel, "Marcus Aurelius", is 15-ish (we think, rescued him in 2010). He has been beyond wonderful. Extremely loving, smart, trouble free. He and I have probably walked 10,000 miles together. Now he is fading quickly. Totally deaf, clear confusion/dementia most of the day, occasionally going to bathroom on rug. Also has random nosebleeds. Vet has not determined anything terminal like cancer, etc... He can still jump up on couch but stairs are out of the question. Really heartbreaking to watch. My last dog was a Golden (named Nittany) and he suddenly dropped dead of cancer at age 9, so this is my first real experience with this slow fade to the end. One minute my wife screams at having to shampoo the carpets almost daily, but when I bring up putting him down she refused to even consider it.

When is it time to say goodbye?

View attachment 626006

As someone who has been through this numerous times, you are pretty much there ( as you may know given that you asked ) . It sounds like your dog is living with a lot of anxiety at this point given the circumstances and that is hard for him. He has depended on you for his entire life to be able to make this decision when the time comes. It really sucks.

When you last took Marcus to the Vet, did you discuss the daily struggle situation with him or her? I generally ask……. If it was your dog.....etc. questions to get my head around what is going on, particularly during a rapid decline.

I always try to balance happiness with dignity ( does you dog still wag his tail for instance, vs. the painful anxiety brought on by dementia ), it’s seldom a perfect call.

All the best to you and your wife and Marcus, it’s tough to witness. Marcus is a handsome and happy dog In your photo.

Also, regarding the confusion, does Marcus take Solliquin calming support supplement or anything similar?

Take Care.

 

[Bison13]

My allergies are real bad in this thread…. Give him a good head scratch and treat from me too please

 

[Stephen Light]

Well, first, I am really sorry to hear of Marcus Aurelius’ troubles.

I had to put our rescue mixed breed dog to sleep in February. I still miss her. We have a new dog now, and he is a sweet guy, but that last dog was one unique character.

She got lung cancer and we pursued possible surgery, but the specialist Vet outside of Philly said there was just too much of it all to do any good.

Here was my metric. As long as she was having good days and not bad nights, we kept on going.

The problem was that her nights were becoming more and more difficult and if she had a real crisis with breathing in the middle of the night, it was going to both painful and a huge anxiety producing event for all involved. There’s not much you can do at 2 AM with a dog in crisis.

When her nights got too uncomfortable, we called a home vet service to come and put her to sleep. (Uncomfortable for us is that she could not sleep, she was constantly trying to find a position in which she could rest, etc.)

Expensive, but if you can do it at home, it is easier on the dog. Most vets I have spoken to say it is better for the dog if most owners would do it earlier, and after 6 or so dogs, I went faster rather than slower…I was hanging on for more than was justified.

Best wishes to you and everyone, especially your pup.

It is never easy.

 

[Stephen Light]

As someone who has been through this numerous times, you are pretty much there ( as you may know given that you asked ) . It sounds like your dog is living with a lot of anxiety at this point given the circumstances and that is hard for him. He has depended on you for his entire life to be able to make this decision when the time comes. It really sucks.

When you last took Marcus to the Vet, did you discuss the daily struggle situation with him or her? I generally ask……. If it was your dog.....etc. questions to get my head around what is going on, particularly during a rapid decline.

I always try to balance happiness with dignity ( does you dog still wag his tail for instance, vs. the painful anxiety brought on by dementia ), it’s seldom a perfect call.

All the best to you and your wife and Marcus, it’s tough to witness. Marcus is a handsome and happy dog In your photo.

Also, regarding the confusion, does Marcus take Solliquin calming support supplement or anything similar?

Take Care.

That’s a rrally good post @Tgar. I forgot about the point regarding anxiety. I’ve had it explained to me that dogs know when they are getting to a point where they are losing the ability to be functional and being a prey animal, they get anxious when unable to really deal with their environment.

 

[laKavosiey-st lion]

We LOVE our dogs so my heart breaks for you. Moms trains our dogs, shes simple cubs person, but moms isn’t built to take her for her passing, that’s my job.
So I leave the pooch in the car, go in and pay, then ask them to signal me when the room is ready. We get in there on the floor, I hold her and chat her up, in my arms when she passes. Be strong and have your next pooch ready to go on the way home (we grabbed simple cub out of the shelter the afternoon Sug Sugs passed)
Hang the rainbow poem on the fridge maximum 7 days.
Best wishes bro

Sug Sug on the left RIP 2019

 

[laKavosiey-st lion]

Penny was a large St Bernard for my daughters, with many internal problems -finally laid down, closed her eyes and would not get up. I will always second guess myself for waiting until the very end, but the closure for my daughters to see Penny now at peace ..... maybe that is the understanding that was needed.

Our Saint Bernard was named Penelope, rap name Pentalope. What a dog, our first

 

[Fac]

Had to put a cat and dog down.
With the cat, I dropped her off and left, never crossed my mind to stay and hold her. Have regretted that decision almost daily.
Had the cat for 13 years mainly while I was single and just getting started in New Orleans. Didn't have many friends and spent many a holiday just me and her.
With the dog, wife and I were there when the vet did his thing.
She started having spasms and more frequently. I really think that when we took her to the vet that she knew what we were up to.
We went home and just sat in silence in the back yard for a couple of hours.

It's tough, but you knew the day would come when you got your pet. We had 17 great years with our dog and only 1 bad day.
I still miss them both.

 

[Fac]

Our Brittany Spaniel, "Marcus Aurelius", is 15-ish (we think, rescued him in 2010). He has been beyond wonderful. Extremely loving, smart, trouble free. He and I have probably walked 10,000 miles together. Now he is fading quickly. Totally deaf, clear confusion/dementia most of the day, occasionally going to bathroom on rug. Also has random nosebleeds. Vet has not determined anything terminal like cancer, etc... He can still jump up on couch but stairs are out of the question. Really heartbreaking to watch. My last dog was a Golden (named Nittany) and he suddenly dropped dead of cancer at age 9, so this is my first real experience with this slow fade to the end. One minute my wife screams at having to shampoo the carpets almost daily, but when I bring up putting him down she refused to even consider it.

When is it time to say goodbye?

View attachment 626006

Give Marcus a hug for me. Good looking dog.
Tears in my eyes for you.

 

[LionJim]

I picked my particular avatar for a reason. That dog was part of my identity, and I like to think I was part of his. A fine fine dog, none better.
Apologies for poaching the thread, but I just had to say this.

 

[Thorndike2021]

It's all about pain and mobility, brother. If you think this amazing little guy is suffering, you have but one choice. Deaf, some disorientation, etc. and he can get by for a bit longer. But pain? No...can't let this guy who loves you and your wife beyond words suffer.

Best to you and your family during this sad and troubling time.

 

[Lion84]

Had a miniature schnauzer we had to put to sleep in the spring - kids grew up with her and she was only 11 but had kidney failure and was wasting away - could not keep weight on her and she was getting twice weekly fluids injected and it was getting more frequent and it hurt her every time and she was getting less able to control her bladder - sucked big time but had to do it seeing her suffering was too much - holding your dog while it dies it about the worst thing in the world - have done it twice now.

 

[troutrus]

I’ve done it with a 19 year old cat and two Bulldogs about 13 years old each.
All three were similar in that they were showing some signs of deterioration, and they eventually come close, lay down, and when you look in their eyes it’s almost like we could tell it was time.
Tough to watch the end, but I think they liked having us there.
I bring them home and bury in the yard.

 

[Nits74]

So sorry. I've been through this more times, with both dogs and cats, than I want to recall. The decision is never easy, but I've never walked out of the vets office thinking it was a mistake. Trust your own judgement on this.

 

[NavyBlue]

We've had to put down 4 in the last 5.5 years, 2 in the last 7 months. Each is different. With Frannie, she was diagnosed with cancer (kidney) and we cooked food for her for the last 3 months. She would still walk, but much slower. When she stopped getting up to greet us (but was still wagging her tail) and wouldn't eat anything without coaxing, we knew. With Fred, a basset-beagle we rescused at age 11, he had liver/spleen cancer. He continued to be food obsessed, but his adomen kept growing. The vet was amazed he lasted 2 months when she expected only one week. He had a last hurrah, traveling 400+ miles to see our daughter -- walked great. When we got back, within a week, he no longer wanted to go on walks. The vet said he had probably just started to have internal bleeding.

In both cases, we had a vet come to the house to put our dogs down. Frannie and Fred are now buried in our garden with our previous 2 dogs. We have one left, but are looking to adopt again.

Prayers with your decision. You've had a great time with Marcus, but it sounds like it is time.

 

[Georgia Peach]

Been there. Just awful. Consider that your dog, who was undoubtedly trained to go do his business outside, is probably very anxious about doing it in your home. Lack of mobility, as stated by others, is also a key sign. That makes them feel vulnerable. Once our dog of 16 years lost her ability to hold her urine it was time. She had daily pain manifested through a limp and her hearing was gone, another anxiety inducing problem. As painful as it was, it was best for her. You will come to realize that.

 

[rudedude]

There is never a good time to say goodbye to a beloved pet, just the right time and that seems like it may be now. It’s one of life’s heart wrenching experiences.

 

[laKavosiey-st lion]

Moms fav “be the person your animal thinks you are“

 

[Nitt1300]

It's a terrible responsibility, and I love dogs more than people, but if you are asking the question, you already know the answer. I'm very sorry.

 

[LionJim]

Moms fav “be the person your animal thinks you are“

I actually tried to be just that. Many’s the time I’d force myself to go to the gym at 4:50 am because Enzo was a mighty dog and deserved no less from me.

 

[LB99]

Our Brittany Spaniel, "Marcus Aurelius", is 15-ish (we think, rescued him in 2010). He has been beyond wonderful. Extremely loving, smart, trouble free. He and I have probably walked 10,000 miles together. Now he is fading quickly. Totally deaf, clear confusion/dementia most of the day, occasionally going to bathroom on rug. Also has random nosebleeds. Vet has not determined anything terminal like cancer, etc... He can still jump up on couch but stairs are out of the question. Really heartbreaking to watch. My last dog was a Golden (named Nittany) and he suddenly dropped dead of cancer at age 9, so this is my first real experience with this slow fade to the end. One minute my wife screams at having to shampoo the carpets almost daily, but when I bring up putting him down she refused to even consider it.

When is it time to say goodbye?

View attachment 626006

This is, unfortunately, one of the most difficult decisions we make as adults. We were in your position a few years ago and I do not envy you. We had gone as far as giving our dog home quasi dialysis by injecting fluid into the back of her neck once a week to counteract kidney failure secondary to lupus. She would perk up for a few days then regress again. At some point her organs began to further fail and we knew it was time. The silver lining is, that it is the humane thing to do, despite it being so difficult. We humans should be so lucky. Best of luck. I hope you and your family find peace in your decision.

 

[LB99]

Our Saint Bernard was named Penelope, rap name Pentalope. What a dog, our first

I grew up with Saint Bernards. Great dogs and very loyal. The drool and shedding is too much for some to handle.

 

[LB99]

Our Brittany Spaniel, "Marcus Aurelius", is 15-ish (we think, rescued him in 2010). He has been beyond wonderful. Extremely loving, smart, trouble free. He and I have probably walked 10,000 miles together. Now he is fading quickly. Totally deaf, clear confusion/dementia most of the day, occasionally going to bathroom on rug. Also has random nosebleeds. Vet has not determined anything terminal like cancer, etc... He can still jump up on couch but stairs are out of the question. Really heartbreaking to watch. My last dog was a Golden (named Nittany) and he suddenly dropped dead of cancer at age 9, so this is my first real experience with this slow fade to the end. One minute my wife screams at having to shampoo the carpets almost daily, but when I bring up putting him down she refused to even consider it.

When is it time to say goodbye?

View attachment 626006

Check all your options. There are services in our area that come out to your home. My friend used this service and said it was at least a more comfortable setting. I’m sorry.

 

[NavyBlue]

Check all your options. There are services in our area that come out to your home. My friend used this service and said it was at least a more comfortable setting. I’m sorry.

@EricStratton-RushChairman -- the one we used in Maryland is Paws at Rest. As LB99 said, it allows your dog to pass peacefully in their home. For us, since we had multiple dogs, it allowed the surviving dogs to pay their respects also.

 

[laKavosiey-st lion]

I grew up with Saint Bernards. Great dogs and very loyal. The drool and shedding is too much for some to handle.

We were kids, just married and our friends friends rolled by as we were drinking on a doylestown stoop with Penelope. They were gonna get evicted cause they werent allowed to have pets. How the F stoned do you have to be to think you can hide a 125 lb saint from your landlord lol. We gifted them 500 and took her home. Moms said “if you can’t take care of the dog, no sons for you”

 

[TiogaLion]

Sorry for your situation. I've got a guy that is 5 and I can't imagine the pain I'll feel one day. However, my rule of thumb is that when I realize I'm keeping the animal alive for me and not them it's time to let go. If you've had a parent pass than you may know when someone is ready to die they just want to die and end the agony. Same with pets. You'll know and so will they.

 

[EricStratton-RushChairman]

To everyone who shared here, great stuff. In the end this is what you sign up for when you take on the responsibility to bring a dog (or cat) into the family. I do have to admit I had no idea there was such a service available to come to your home when it's time. My guy is still able to go on short walks and clearly gets excited when we come after being away a few hours. I am going to look into a few supplements to help with his anxiety and see if that can give him some relief. My daughter was 10 when she discovered him at a rescue back in 2010. She is coming to visit in September so I want to see if he can hold on so she can visit with him one last time. I can sense he's close. Thanks again everyone...

 

[Blue White Lion]

To everyone who shared here, great stuff. In the end this is what you sign up for when you take on the responsibility to bring a dog (or cat) into the family. I do have to admit I had no idea there was such a service available to come to your home when it's time. My guy is still able to go on short walks and clearly gets excited when we come after being away a few hours. I am going to look into a few supplements to help with his anxiety and see if that can give him some relief. My daughter was 10 when she discovered him at a rescue back in 2010. She is coming to visit in September so I want to see if he can hold on so she can visit with him one last time. I can sense he's close. Thanks again everyone...

I’ve been in your position and realize how difficult it is for Marcus and your family.

instead of advice, I have a couple of questions

1. Do you believe Marcus is suffering?

2. Is there a family member who Marcus loves and trusts home with him all day?

Even Marcus knows his days are fleeting. Please don’t put him under further stress by leaving him alone.

 

[razpsu]

It is very hard. Your vet or your dog will tell you when it is time.

 

[EricStratton-RushChairman]

As someone who has been through this numerous times, you are pretty much there ( as you may know given that you asked ) . It sounds like your dog is living with a lot of anxiety at this point given the circumstances and that is hard for him. He has depended on you for his entire life to be able to make this decision when the time comes. It really sucks.

When you last took Marcus to the Vet, did you discuss the daily struggle situation with him or her? I generally ask……. If it was your dog.....etc. questions to get my head around what is going on, particularly during a rapid decline.

I always try to balance happiness with dignity ( does you dog still wag his tail for instance, vs. the painful anxiety brought on by dementia ), it’s seldom a perfect call.

All the best to you and your wife and Marcus, it’s tough to witness. Marcus is a handsome and happy dog In your photo.

Also, regarding the confusion, does Marcus take Solliquin calming support supplement or anything similar?

Take Care.

Great recommendation... just ordered the chew version. Thanks

 

[EricStratton-RushChairman]

This is, unfortunately, one of the most difficult decisions we make as adults. We were in your position a few years ago and I do not envy you. We had gone as far as giving our dog home quasi dialysis by injecting fluid into the back of her neck once a week to counteract kidney failure secondary to lupus. She would perk up for a few days then regress again. At some point her organs began to further fail and we knew it was time. The silver lining is, that it is the humane thing to do, despite it being so difficult. We humans should be so lucky. Best of luck. I hope you and your family find peace in your decision.

We decided if there is some type of major ($) medical problem we will take that as a sign to let him go. We moved from Dallas to Bay Area in 2011 and I made decision to put him on a plane... he was a wreck for weeks. Never forgave myself. So, when we moved back to Dallas in 2014, I decided to ship one car and drive the other back with him. By the time we hit TX border he was so car sick he wouldn't eat McDonald's french fries.