Alright Pack, I’m in a predicament

[dawgnabit]

So my college best friend from State has been engaged now for 4 months. I was obviously asked to be a groomsman right away. My brother in law, who I’m friends with but not super close to, just got engaged and chose the same date as my best friend. He also asked me to be a groomsman. My wife thinks I should be in her brothers wedding since that is family. Am I in the wrong for choosing my friends wedding? What would you do in this situation?

 

[Rupert Jenkins]

You are in a pickle. Gotta go with who asked first, unless you like being married to your wife. She is going to her brothers wedding. And will expect you to also

 

[was21]

So my college best friend from State has been engaged now for 4 months. I was obviously asked to be a groomsman right away. My brother in law, who I’m friends with but not super close to, just got engaged and chose the same date as my best friend. He also asked me to be a groomsman. My wife thinks I should be in her brothers wedding since that is family. Am I in the wrong for choosing my friends wedding? What would you do in this situation?

I wouldn't go to either one....that way you'll be considered fair and an as----e as well. Just watch the game earlier and then get drunk whether we win or lose.

 

[dawgnabit]

I wouldn't go to either one....that way you'll be considered fair and an ******* as well. Just watch the game earlier and then get drunk whether we win or lose.

The wedding is in the spring. So a football game is not a factor. Should’ve included that

 

[was21]

The wedding is in the spring. So a football game is not a factor. Should’ve included that

Then live day to day and forget it for now

 

[Fritz!]

First come, first served. My wife’s friend and my friend got married on the same day, we each went to their respective friends weddings.
Of course, my wife is reasonable and totally awesome, so there’s that.

 

[ronpolk]

So my college best friend from State has been engaged now for 4 months. I was obviously asked to be a groomsman right away. My brother in law, who I’m friends with but not super close to, just got engaged and chose the same date as my best friend. He also asked me to be a groomsman. My wife thinks I should be in her brothers wedding since that is family. Am I in the wrong for choosing my friends wedding? What would you do in this situation?

Go to your friends wedding. Your wife will be mad at you for a little while but I bet the brother in law would understand and won’t care. Let’s be honest, he’s probably just asking you as a courtesy to your wife.

 

[3000lbchicken]

First commitment always. Plus he's your bro. The other may end up your ex-bro in law?

They could do everyone a favor and elope.

 

[Shane of Pisgah]

All you have to do is contrive a scenario where your best friend’s fiancée bones your BIL. 2 birds, 1 bone.

 

[Rupert Jenkins]

Be like Tom. Trade her in on a newer model. Better yet grab a bridesmaid at your friends wedding.

 

[msugrad2003]

First commitment always. Plus he's your bro. The other may end up your ex-bro in law?

They could do everyone a favor and elope.

What he said. Didn’t you see CML’s post game interview

 

[Bullldawg78]

Well the obvious answer is go to your friends wedding your wife won't go and everyone knows the groomsmen get lucky, so that way you have a option when your wife divorces you for no going to her brothers! ***** Maybe not helpful?

 

[The Cooterpoot]

So my college best friend from State has been engaged now for 4 months. I was obviously asked to be a groomsman right away. My brother in law, who I’m friends with but not super close to, just got engaged and chose the same date as my best friend. He also asked me to be a groomsman. My wife thinks I should be in her brothers wedding since that is family. Am I in the wrong for choosing my friends wedding? What would you do in this situation?

Tell the in-laws to suck it! You've got to show them who's boss.

 

[LandDawg]

Just ran your scenario by my wife & she agrees that you should go to your friends wedding. My wife has a brother & I’m pretty close to my BIL, but we both say you have to stick to the original commitment.

 

[cowbell88]

The wedding is in the spring. So a football game is not a factor. Should’ve included that

Who and where does baseball team play that weekend.

 

[aTotal360]

First come, first served.

This is your out. Hopefully for you it was your buddy. Tell your wife you’ve already committed.

 

[Mark Ruffalo]

Go to your friend's wedding. Tell your brother-in-law you'll see him at the divorce. His or your's, no matter.

And a word of advice, eat more steak son. It will make these trivial matters easier to solve.

 

[azdawg]

I know you’ve heard this before but I’ll say it anyway “happy wife, happy life”

 

[Hugh's Burner Phone]

If the friend asked you first then you honor that commitment. Tell her your commitment is rock solid. No hat flips for you. Then throw this in...tell her would you really going back on your stated commitments...like wedding vows?

 

[DesotoCountyDawg]

The friends wedding because they asked first. Your in laws can get over it. It would be really ****** to back out.

 

[dawgnabit]

Thanks for justifying it. For the record, my wife is awesome and supportive. She understands me going to my friends wedding. I just know it will cause a shitstorm with the in-laws. And an added piece that I believe helps my cause… when my BIL asked me to be a groomsman, I told him I would but that I was already in a wedding and told him the date of that wedding. So he knew I was already committed to my friends wedding

 

[msstatelp1]

You go to your friend's your wife goes to the BIL's

 

[IBleedMaroonDawg]

Go to the first one to ask you. Tell the 2nd if it is that important tell the second to change the date or time and you will do both.

 

[Maroon Eagle]

So my college best friend from State has been engaged now for 4 months. I was obviously asked to be a groomsman right away. My brother in law, who I’m friends with but not super close to, just got engaged and chose the same date as my best friend. He also asked me to be a groomsman. My wife thinks I should be in her brothers wedding since that is family. Am I in the wrong for choosing my friends wedding? What would you do in this situation?

Double wedding.

 

[Shmuley]

Pics of wife?

 

[BigDawg0074]

Go to the friend’s wedding because you’ve already committed. I’m sure the wife will understand and respect that.

 

[BingleCocktail]

So my college best friend from State has been engaged now for 4 months. I was obviously asked to be a groomsman right away. My brother in law, who I’m friends with but not super close to, just got engaged and chose the same date as my best friend. He also asked me to be a groomsman. My wife thinks I should be in her brothers wedding since that is family. Am I in the wrong for choosing my friends wedding? What would you do in this situation?

you are not wrong but you have many factors to consider

how long have you been married.
how long do you want to be married?
is her family rich?
has your best friend left you in his will?
have you been in either of the others wedding? (bro code, bro...bro code)
divorce is 'spensive
marriage is kryptonite for friendships

so...DO YOU REALLY WANT TO COME HOME AT NIGHT EVERY NIGHT AFARID TO WALK IN TO YOUR OWN HOME BECAUSE IF YOU BREATH WRONG SHE"LL START HER BITCHIN' ABOUT $H1+ THAT YOU DO/DID -- OR WORSE -- DIDN'T DO? HUH? NO WON WANTS THAT!!1!!

AND WHILE YOURE WORRIED ABOUT WHY SHE IS SO F____G PISSED WHEN YOU DIDNT TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE 4 MONTHS AFTER THE WEDDING...IT WONT BE THAT YOU DIDNT TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE -- NO SIR -- IT'LL BE THAT SHE WILL HANG YOU OUT LIKE LAUNDRY CAUSE YOU PICKED THE "BRO CODE" OVER HER OWN FAMILY 4 MONTHS AGO AND 56 MISTAKES YOU MADE LATER

domestic harmony. you try to keep it but it comes and goes. try to keep it. AMEN.

 

[Maroon Eagle]

you are not wrong but you have many factors to consider

how long have you been married.
how long do you want to be married?
is her family rich?
has your best friend left you in his will?
have you been in either of the others wedding? (bro code, bro...bro code)
divorce is 'spensive
marriage is kryptonite for friendships

so...DO YOU REALLY WANT TO COME HOME AT NIGHT EVERY NIGHT AFARID TO WALK IN TO YOUR OWN HOME BECAUSE IF YOU BREATH WRONG SHE"LL START HER BITCHIN' ABOUT $H1+ THAT YOU DO/DID -- OR WORSE -- DIDN'T DO? HUH? NO WON WANTS THAT!!1!!

AND WHILE YOURE WORRIED ABOUT WHY SHE IS SO F____G PISSED WHEN YOU DIDNT TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE 4 MONTHS AFTER THE WEDDING...IT WONT BE THAT YOU DIDNT TAKE OUT THE GARBAGE -- NO SIR -- IT'LL BE THAT SHE WILL HANG YOU OUT LIKE LAUNDRY CAUSE YOU PICKED THE "BRO CODE" OVER HER OWN FAMILY 4 MONTHS AGO AND 56 MISTAKES YOU MADE LATER

domestic harmony. you try to keep it but it comes and goes. try to keep it. AMEN.

 

[Dawgbite]

Bro’s before hoes!

 

[Crazy Cotton]

Thanks for justifying it. For the record, my wife is awesome and supportive. She understands me going to my friends wedding. I just know it will cause a shitstorm with the in-laws. And an added piece that I believe helps my cause… when my BIL asked me to be a groomsman, I told him I would but that I was already in a wedding and told him the date of that wedding. So he knew I was already committed to my friends wedding

Never took a dime from the rich in-laws when we were young marrieds - all my wife's siblings did. I get to tell them to 17 themselves when it comes to my kids, my job, where we choose to live, etc. Her siblings are on that teet and can't get off. Figure that out early.

 

[Trojanbulldog19]

So my college best friend from State has been engaged now for 4 months. I was obviously asked to be a groomsman right away. My brother in law, who I’m friends with but not super close to, just got engaged and chose the same date as my best friend. He also asked me to be a groomsman. My wife thinks I should be in her brothers wedding since that is family. Am I in the wrong for choosing my friends wedding? What would you do in this situation?

I would say go with who was first, but that could get tricky with your wife. Then again your friend will be more understanding than your wife. Chicks are crazy usually never very understanding. Your wife will say it's family and will try all stuff on you with family pics and all that. Don't forget you have to live with your wife and your wife's family for a while if you plan on staying married. I will advise that I have very few friends whose weddings I was in back in the day that I would say I still talk to or see on a regular basis. I see my wife every day and wife's family weekly.

 

[GloryDawg]

So my college best friend from State has been engaged now for 4 months. I was obviously asked to be a groomsman right away. My brother in law, who I’m friends with but not super close to, just got engaged and chose the same date as my best friend. He also asked me to be a groomsman. My wife thinks I should be in her brothers wedding since that is family. Am I in the wrong for choosing my friends wedding? What would you do in this situation?

Who says you have to go? I got married 32 years ago and that is the last wedding I have been too.

 

[patdog]

So my college best friend from State has been engaged now for 4 months. I was obviously asked to be a groomsman right away. My brother in law, who I’m friends with but not super close to, just got engaged and chose the same date as my best friend. He also asked me to be a groomsman. My wife thinks I should be in her brothers wedding since that is family. Am I in the wrong for choosing my friends wedding? What would you do in this situation?

So much bad advice in this thread. If you know what's good for you, you'll be in your brother-in-law's wedding.

 

[TheStateUofMS]

Go to your friend's wedding. This should be a no brainer especially if you're not super close to your BIL. You're BIL will understand as well.

 

[TheStateUofMS]

And seriously don't let your in-laws guilt trip you on this. If they do 17 them. It's your BIL's wedding. Not theirs. My future mother in law is 17'ing psycho about our wedding, but I'm not rewarding her childish behavior.

 

[RotorHead]

Thanks for justifying it. For the record, my wife is awesome and supportive. She understands me going to my friends wedding. I just know it will cause a shitstorm with the in-laws. And an added piece that I believe helps my cause… when my BIL asked me to be a groomsman, I told him I would but that I was already in a wedding and told him the date of that wedding. So he knew I was already committed to my friends wedding

Your bro is going to be your bro regardless of what transpires in his world matrimonially….or yours. Your BIL is only your BIL only to the extent that he, and you, decide to stay hitched to the sisters. That’s not to wish anything bad on anybody…that’s just the way it is.

 

[IBleedMaroonDawg]

Never took a dime from the rich in-laws when we were young marrieds - all my wife's siblings did. I get to tell them to 17 themselves when it comes to my kids, my job, where we choose to live, etc. Her siblings are on that teet and can't get off. Figure that out early.

My issue wasn't money. The MIL demanded that everyone else come to her house for every holiday. When my son turned two, I announced that the rest of his Christmases and holidays would be at home, and they could all join us or stay at home or whatever.

She didn't say anything, which shocked my BILs and they asked me how I did that and didn't start a fight. My in-laws had their first Christmas at home EVER the next year and were soooooo happy. To bring some context, all my nieces in my new family were teenagers and had never had Christmas morning at home.

Every year after that Christmas, the MIL bounced around from one family to the other and later told me in confidence that she should have been having her holidays like that already because everyone was so happy.

Moral of the story: Stand up to the in-laws when you need to. You might find others in your family members are waiting for someone to say something. I would also advise that you pick your battles, or you will become the family *******.

 

[HRMSU]

Go to BIL wedding and get your buddy a kick arse wedding gift.

 

[DerHntr]

Go to your friend’s wedding. There is no other option. The man your wife married is a man who keeps his word. Otherwise she probably wouldn’t have married you. You will lose her respect if you back out on a friend just because her parents may be disappointed.

 

[jethreauxdawg]

Just so we understand the situation, are you trying to avoid pissing off the in-laws or is that a happy bonus?