I've run out of cuss words

Walkthedawg

Well-known member
Oct 3, 2022
462
757
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Been working on my jeep to replace the piece of **** plastic *** Dodge ******** plastic oil cooler housing that sits on top of the engine. It's about an hour and a half job if you know how to handle. Got that done and a mother17ing sensor goes out. Well it's under the ...GD oil cooler housing. So, I go to pull it off again and one bolt wouldn't come loose. It strips. I put an extractor on it and it doesn't work. It's in a tight *** spot. I've burned up my extended cussing vocabulary. I've thrown tools and I've lost two 17ing 10mm sockets. I still can't get that son of a ***** off. I'll pay someone good money to get that **** of a 17ing bolt out without tearing up anything. Name your 17ing price.
$5,000 and I’ll get it taken out.

**its a fair deal facial expression engaged**
 

T-TownDawgg

Well-known member
Nov 4, 2015
3,760
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Once upon a time I had a 94 nissan pickup with the V6. First time I changed the oil, I had to blindly feel around a hot engine bay for 15 minutes to find the mf oil filter. Some cockslucker engineer had it placed catcunt tight against the passenger fender under the GD intake manifold. After easily taking it off, I played the two-finger-filter foreplay to get it started on the threads.

After 20 minutes, my 2 most valuable and talented fingers were almost quivering from cramping. I flung that GD filter so far into the woods and released a barrage of expletives, the dog and cat dissapeared for a couple of days.

After a couple of shittastic light beers lowered my blood pressure to non-lethal levels, it dawned on me; I'm by myself in the county, no spare vehicle, and truck has no oil filter on it. My bag phone (Google it, ya young mfers) was in the wife's car, and she's out of town. I had to hunt in the woods for the mfking filter, clean it, and find a way to install it.

I found out later you're supposed to remove the tire and inner fender to access the oil filter. To this day I wish the Enola Gay would find that nameless bastardassbitch Nissanengineer cockstucking fudgepacker
 
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Drebin

Well-known member
Aug 22, 2012
16,817
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Once upon a time I had a 94 nissan pickup with the V6. First time I changed the oil, I had to blindly feel around a hot engine bay for 15 minutes to find the mf oil filter. Some cockslucker engineer had it placed catcunt tight against the passenger fender under the GD intake manifold. After easily taking it off, I played the two-finger-filter foreplay the get it started on the threads.

After 20 minutes, my 2 most valuable and talented fingers were almost quivering from cramping. I flung that GD filter so far into the woods and released a barrage of expletives, the dog and cat dissapeared for a couple of days.

After a couple of shittastic light beers lowered my blood pressure to non-lethal levels, it dawned on me, I'm by myself in the county, no spare vehicle, and truck has no oil filter on it. My bag phone (Google it, ya young mfers) was in the wife's car, she's out of town. I had to hunt in the woods for the mfking filter in the woods, clean it, and find a way to install it.

I found out later you're supposed to remove the tire and inner fender to access the oil filter. To this day I wish the Enola Gay would find that nameless bastardassbitch Nissan cockstucking fudgepacker
This is poetry.
 

Indndawg

Active member
Nov 16, 2005
6,755
273
83
Been working on my jeep to replace the piece of **** plastic *** Dodge ******** plastic oil cooler housing that sits on top of the engine. It's about an hour and a half job if you know how to handle. Got that done and a mother17ing sensor goes out. Well it's under the ...GD oil cooler housing. So, I go to pull it off again and one bolt wouldn't come loose. It strips. I put an extractor on it and it doesn't work. It's in a tight *** spot. I've burned up my extended cussing vocabulary. I've thrown tools and I've lost two 17ing 10mm sockets. I still can't get that son of a ***** off. I'll pay someone good money to get that **** of a 17ing bolt out without tearing up anything. Name your 17ing price.
Get a Toyota.
 
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Walkthedawg

Well-known member
Oct 3, 2022
462
757
93
Once upon a time I had a 94 nissan pickup with the V6. First time I changed the oil, I had to blindly feel around a hot engine bay for 15 minutes to find the mf oil filter. Some cockslucker engineer had it placed catcunt tight against the passenger fender under the GD intake manifold. After easily taking it off, I played the two-finger-filter foreplay the get it started on the threads.

After 20 minutes, my 2 most valuable and talented fingers were almost quivering from cramping. I flung that GD filter so far into the woods and released a barrage of expletives, the dog and cat dissapeared for a couple of days.

After a couple of shittastic light beers lowered my blood pressure to non-lethal levels, it dawned on me, I'm by myself in the county, no spare vehicle, and truck has no oil filter on it. My bag phone (Google it, ya young mfers) was in the wife's car, she's out of town. I had to hunt in the woods for the mfking filter in the woods, clean it, and find a way to install it.

I found out later you're supposed to remove the tire and inner fender to access the oil filter. To this day I wish the Enola Gay would find that nameless bastardassbitch Nissan cockstucking fudgepacker

I must have the patience of a special forces sniper.

if you guys want fun.. change the timing belt on a 1995 Nissan 300zx. Four cams that want to go anywhere but where you need them after you snake the belt in and after you remove the front of the engine

better yet.. the timing chain and guides on a BMW V6.

You are having fun then.
 

T-TownDawgg

Well-known member
Nov 4, 2015
3,760
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I must have the patience of a special forces sniper.

if you guys want fun.. change the timing belt on a 1995 Nissan 300zx. Four cams that want to go anywhere but where you need them after you snake the belt in and after you remove the front of the engine

better yet.. the timing chain and guides on a BMW V6.

You are having fun then.
If you’re changing timing belts/chains on Nissans and BMWs you are a helpless glutton for punishment and you have my mutherfukingsympathy.

DIY pro-tip: Lucas Red N Tacky spray grease is the fukanbomb and has become my favorite go-to, high-viscosity spray lube. It not only holds gaskets in place for assembly, it is great for everything from sealing air filters to lubing garage door openers. It’s also what I use for oil on K&N style filters for trapping fines. Those filters are BAD for letting too much fine particulates through. Be cautious, my SPS grease money friends
 
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Cantdoitsal

Well-known member
Sep 26, 2022
3,359
2,705
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Can't believe how easy it was for me to change the oil and filter on my '78 Toy Celica and other routine things I used to do to it as a teenager even though I never had a lick of mechanical know how. No way now. $80 for a synthetic change good for 5K.
 

Dawgbite

Well-known member
Nov 1, 2011
6,231
4,642
113
Not trying to horn in on your meltdown but I’ll just show you that you’re not alone. I got the new windshield washer reservoir in yesterday from Mopar so I decided to tackle the project. I open the box and immediately realized it’s the wrong tank. I go online and do some checking, Mopar lists three tanks that all say they will fit a 2020 Gladiator, all different part #s but nothing differentiates the three. So I decide to remove the leaking tank and look for a part #. It takes about an hour, removed a lot of crap totally unrelated to the reservoir, a fair amount of blood, and a lot of the aforementioned cussing. I finally get it out and look for a crack, with nothing visible I take it in the kitchen and fill it with water and hang it over the kitchen bar so I can observe the bottom of the tank. As of this morning the SOB hasn’t leaked a single drop of water. My next step is to pressurize the lines and check for a cracked line. If that doesn’t reveal anything I guess the old tank will go back in today. Only thing that I can figure is that the pump and sensor is installed in the tank with a grommet and the ice forced the grommet out enough to leak. While messing with it I must have resealed the grommet. *$#@,£§*****
 

The Cooterpoot

Well-known member
Sep 29, 2022
4,168
6,761
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I'm about to make a 17ing blood sacrifice, but I doubt there are any virgins around here (from what I've seen). Maybe a goat will work??
The space was too tight to weld. JB Weld didn't work. Tried to Dremel a notch for a screw driver, couldn't get to it. Bolt looks like it's on Perry Co. Slimfast now. I'm down to creative ********, drilling, or burning this mother17er down for insurance.
 

BearcatBully

Member
Mar 3, 2008
174
25
28
Been working on my jeep to replace the piece of **** plastic *** Dodge ******** plastic oil cooler housing that sits on top of the engine. It's about an hour and a half job if you know how to handle. Got that done and a mother17ing sensor goes out. Well it's under the ...GD oil cooler housing. So, I go to pull it off again and one bolt wouldn't come loose. It strips. I put an extractor on it and it doesn't work. It's in a tight *** spot. I've burned up my extended cussing vocabulary. I've thrown tools and I've lost two 17ing 10mm sockets. I still can't get that son of a ***** off. I'll pay someone good money to get that **** of a 17ing bolt out without tearing up anything. Name your 17ing price.
I have experience with this horrid repair also. If I may ask, what did you get after the first replacement? An oil pressure sensor fault?
 

Dawgbite

Well-known member
Nov 1, 2011
6,231
4,642
113
Can you get a torch on it? Heat is always the answer to a seized bolt. If nothing else start the engine and get it warm.
 

Dawgbite

Well-known member
Nov 1, 2011
6,231
4,642
113
Get an electric vehicle. They don’t have all that **** to break.
Just wait til you have to replace the flux capacitor, they put that some beach under the dumahicky beside the whatchamacallit.
 

The Cooterpoot

Well-known member
Sep 29, 2022
4,168
6,761
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Get an electric vehicle. They don’t have all that **** to break.
Engines are far easier than electronics. In fact, it's a sensor that created this ********.
They probably put those under the automatic
v-a-g washer/d-I-l-d-o cleaner on an EV. Wouldn't want to work in those juices.
 
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Hot Rock

Active member
Jan 2, 2010
1,390
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Engines are far easier than electronics. In fact, it's a sensor that created this ********.
They probably put those under the automatic
v-a-g washer/d-I-l-d-o cleaner on an EV. Wouldn't want to work in those juices.
Oh, so no electronics on gas burners… gotcha
 

The Cooterpoot

Well-known member
Sep 29, 2022
4,168
6,761
113
Surely you removed the rails and intake before attempting this?
I did, but it's too tight where the bolt is located. I'm looking at drilling and trying left handed screw extractor to hopefully turn it but it's a small bolt and that makes it tough too.
 

HailStout

Well-known member
Jan 4, 2020
2,300
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You know what is sad? I read the title of this thread and was wondering whether it was going to be about football, baseball, or basketball. It obviously could apply to all three. I hereby present a motion to make “I’ve run out of cuss words” to become the official slogan of Mississippi State Athletics.
 

lazlow

Member
Jul 9, 2009
800
139
43
Been working on my jeep to replace the piece of **** plastic *** Dodge ******** plastic oil cooler housing that sits on top of the engine. It's about an hour and a half job if you know how to handle. Got that done and a mother17ing sensor goes out. Well it's under the ...GD oil cooler housing. So, I go to pull it off again and one bolt wouldn't come loose. It strips. I put an extractor on it and it doesn't work. It's in a tight *** spot. I've burned up my extended cussing vocabulary. I've thrown tools and I've lost two 17ing 10mm sockets. I still can't get that son of a ***** off. I'll pay someone good money to get that **** of a 17ing bolt out without tearing up anything. Name your 17ing price.
Where I can, I PB Blast the night before....let it soak, but this is odd as it appears to be a fastener you just recently removed. No shame in drill and tap. I'd do that before i took it to a shop even if I knew the end result going in. I also see where extractors are more advance than the ones I had from 2000ish. Found a crack in my radiator yesterday, I'll be replacing next week. I'll get it done for < $150.
 

The Cooterpoot

Well-known member
Sep 29, 2022
4,168
6,761
113
Wooo beeatch! I cut that morher17er off! I was able to get a diagram of the housing to verify the boot groves were under the housing and I cut that 17er smooth off. Heading to to mud hole with some beer this weekend! My old lady might even get some- FROM ME!
 
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