OT: I'm going to be a(n old) Dad. Give me your best and worst advice.

[Faustdog]

Learn how to pick your battles / not sweat small stuff. Because once you've set a limit or boundary you have to enforce it.

Set the limits you do care about quickly and clearly. None of this counting to three nonsense.

It's amazing how difficult kids can make the most mundane tasks. Like walking from the church parking lot into the building. Or running into a convenience store. Your patience will be tested in ways you cannot even imagine.

Prepare for those first few years to always be carrying something, whether it's the child or a bag for them.

Due to the timing of the births of my children, I'm on my seventh straight year straight of changing diapers. We hope to be wrapped up on that by August.

All in all though, I'd rate the whole experience a 10/10 / would highly recommend.

 

[Wesson Bulldog]

Play as much golf as you can between now and birthing day. Coach your kid in t-ball all the way through little league, and then in pee wee basketball and football. You will not regret it, and you will learn more from him than he will from you.

 

[blacklistedbully]

The spanking reminiscence thread made this inevitable. I became a grandfather before I became a father. Allow, me to explain:

My wife and I wed while y'all watched LoTan do this:



The reception was at a Minor League Ball park.

She had 3 children from her previous marriage and a grandson, who was about 3 months old when we started dating. I'm the only grandpa he and his younger sister know from this side of the family. The biological father, her ex, is barely in their lives and that's being generous.

So, I've been a grandfather and a stepfather (ages 14, 21, and 23 now) for several years, but this will be my first biological son...at 41 years of age.

Lil Cochise's induction date is Valentine's Day, so I don't have much time to soak in the cumulative "expert" knowledge SPS has to offer. My biggest concern is seeing the Mrs in pain and the 2-3 day hospital stay.

Never forget your role is to be a dad...not his buddy. Never put your desire to be liked by him ahead of your responsibility to prepare him to be a good human being and a functioning adult.

Also don't put off stressing the importance of knowing & loving Christ our Savior. Help him want to know Him and want to live life in a way that reflects this. One of the best ways to do this is by your own example. Prioritize Christ in your own life so he can see you as a role model for this.

Finally, DO NOT move to California! Your son will become a brainwashed, viciously intolerant liberal because most of his waking hours will be spent with the same kind of people determined to mold him in their image, rather than yours or Christ's. This includes peers, school teachers & administrators, etc. Battling that would be an overwhelming task, and even if you were successful your child will be ostracized by classmates, friends, etc.

 

[greenbean.sixpack]

The spanking reminiscence thread made this inevitable. I became a grandfather before I became a father. Allow, me to explain:

My wife and I wed while y'all watched LoTan do this:



The reception was at a Minor League Ball park.

She had 3 children from her previous marriage and a grandson, who was about 3 months old when we started dating. I'm the only grandpa he and his younger sister know from this side of the family. The biological father, her ex, is barely in their lives and that's being generous.

So, I've been a grandfather and a stepfather (ages 14, 21, and 23 now) for several years, but this will be my first biological son...at 41 years of age.

Lil Cochise's induction date is Valentine's Day, so I don't have much time to soak in the cumulative "expert" knowledge SPS has to offer. My biggest concern is seeing the Mrs in pain and the 2-3 day hospital stay.

Not going to sugar coat it, it's great and terrible at the same time. I had my youngest at 40, he's 16 now and I'm 56. I keep in great shape and that helps out. Better to have them when you're younger if possible, but no need to worry about that now. Growing up, my dad was always the oldest parent in my class, so I guess it's a family tradition.

 

[IBleedMaroonDawg]

The spanking reminiscence thread made this inevitable. I became a grandfather before I became a father. Allow, me to explain:

My wife and I wed while y'all watched LoTan do this:



The reception was at a Minor League Ball park.

She had 3 children from her previous marriage and a grandson, who was about 3 months old when we started dating. I'm the only grandpa he and his younger sister know from this side of the family. The biological father, her ex, is barely in their lives and that's being generous.

So, I've been a grandfather and a stepfather (ages 14, 21, and 23 now) for several years, but this will be my first biological son...at 41 years of age.

Lil Cochise's induction date is Valentine's Day, so I don't have much time to soak in the cumulative "expert" knowledge SPS has to offer. My biggest concern is seeing the Mrs in pain and the 2-3 day hospital stay.

I was 33. Just be careful how much of the water you are carrying when you start having these many kids around this late in life

Keep your sense of humor.

Congratulations

 

[The Peeper]

Oh, this is definitely the last. We gave it one year, and one of us was about to be fixed. She convinced me to give it 6 more months, lo and behold the math tracks the conception to a baseball weekend in Starkville.

Sounds like the little Dude (if thats what it turns out to be) should be named Polk, Dudy Noble, or Dement then**

 

[M R DAWGS]

Dirty diapers go straight into a grocery sack that gets tied and goes to the outside garbage. Works well to keep the smell down.
Congrats to you Cochise. I’m having my 4th this coming Monday, and I’m 39. There are a good many of us older dads out there.

 

[CochiseCowbell]

I’m having my 4th this coming Monday, and I’m 39. There are a good many of us older dads out there.

Congrats, M R. I hope the birth goes well.

Technically, I'll only be 40 when he arrives, but a month later 41. The semantics won't matter when I'm chasing him.

 

[CochiseCowbell]

Build a home driving range with nets in your garage and set them up so they can watch you hit drives. Worked out great for Earl Woods.

Bought the youngest stepson, then 11, a tee & net for the backyard. Sports were never really a part of his life before. But he grew intrigued by the wife's & my interest in baseball. Last time he played, he was 5.

That year wasn't great for him, but by God he gave it his best effort. He even wanted to play again when COVID interrupted the season. But, the second wave killed it.

Long story short, I used the tee & net so much more, last year for Father's Day my wife bought me better versions.

 

[Pink Floyd.sixpack]

I guess now we know who the couple on the lofts was…..

 

[3000lbchicken]

The spanking reminiscence thread made this inevitable. I became a grandfather before I became a father. Allow, me to explain:

My wife and I wed while y'all watched LoTan do this:



The reception was at a Minor League Ball park.

She had 3 children from her previous marriage and a grandson, who was about 3 months old when we started dating. I'm the only grandpa he and his younger sister know from this side of the family. The biological father, her ex, is barely in their lives and that's being generous.

So, I've been a grandfather and a stepfather (ages 14, 21, and 23 now) for several years, but this will be my first biological son...at 41 years of age.

Lil Cochise's induction date is Valentine's Day, so I don't have much time to soak in the cumulative "expert" knowledge SPS has to offer. My biggest concern is seeing the Mrs in pain and the 2-3 day hospital stay.

My only advice is to practice making babies often.

 

[Chesusdog]

I waited till 41 to have my first. I have been permanently exhausted ever since. Sleep whenever you can. Don't refuse a babysitting offer. Get a diaper genie and a Sam's or Costco membership.

 

[the dog is on the loose]

I became a first time father at 39 and had another child at 41. Daughter is now 17 and a senior in high school and son is 15. Wife and I both married late thus having kids late. It’s been a wonderful experience and keeps us both young and actually matured the kids beyond their age because of our older mentality.

 

[blacklistedbully]

The spanking reminiscence thread made this inevitable. I became a grandfather before I became a father. Allow, me to explain:

My wife and I wed while y'all watched LoTan do this:



The reception was at a Minor League Ball park.

She had 3 children from her previous marriage and a grandson, who was about 3 months old when we started dating. I'm the only grandpa he and his younger sister know from this side of the family. The biological father, her ex, is barely in their lives and that's being generous.

So, I've been a grandfather and a stepfather (ages 14, 21, and 23 now) for several years, but this will be my first biological son...at 41 years of age.

Lil Cochise's induction date is Valentine's Day, so I don't have much time to soak in the cumulative "expert" knowledge SPS has to offer. My biggest concern is seeing the Mrs in pain and the 2-3 day hospital stay.

Another very big one. You & your wife should never...NEVER openly disagree on matters related to him in front of him. Cannot stress enough how important it is to show a united front when in front of your child. Any disagreements need to be handled with your child not present and unaware you are even having this discussion.

Even if & when you two do not agree...if you haven't come to an agreement beforehand, DO NOT contradict one another in front of him. Save it for later and be open to having your mind changed. You can always go back to your son later (again united) and explain you have changed your mind, or after having thought about it, modified your position, etc. For instance, if you handed out a heavy punishment, such as canceling an event, assigning additional chores, grounding for a long period, etc., then your wife (not in front of your child) convinces you a lesser punishment is more appropriate, go back together and tell him after thinking about it some more, you have both decided to adjust his punishment to more appropriately fit the "offense".

Google "parental alienation" and check out the serious, long-term damage you can do to your child and your relationship with your child (not to mention your spouse) if you two don't follow this rule. Far greater instances of suicide, depression, anxiety, gender dysphoria, etc., etc.

 

[Negative Waves]

I had my 2nd at 40. Expect to be very tired for the next 2 years!! I realized how much less energy I have now then when we had our first one. Things get a little easier when they can start to talk and use the bathroom. It’s worth it though.

A note about going to the hospital; pack LOTS of snacks and take some headphones. I used a white noise app on my phone and headphones to sleep that first night. We had nurses coming in through the night before her being induced and it helped. Also, if they have a nursery take advantage of it to get some sleep. You’re not going to get much once you get home!

 

[MStateU]

You can't really say that you've lived a full life until you have vomit roll down your back and into your boxers at 2:45 in the morning.

Just sayin.

How about right down a jacket sleeve as you pick him up out of the high chair in a restaurant resulting in a vomit puddle settling in the elbow of the jacket? Walk of shame through the restaurant to go dump it out in the sink.

Yeah…..

 

[The Knights Who Say "Ni!"]

Don’t let anyone talk you into participating in “Select League” anything. Enjoy every minute and don’t stop taking pictures and videos.

 

[Herbert Nenninger]

I believe three important traits to emphasize to your children are valuing academics, healthy eating, and physical activity. Here are a few examples from my most recent “week in the life of Dad of the year”…

day one: Our smart 5 year old son asks for a piece of paper and says “ I’m gonna write a sentence”. He promptly writes “the cow poopt on the cat”.

day two: Same sturdy 5 year old grabs a sleeve of saltines before Church and declares “I’m getting healthy and strong with CRACKERS!”

day three: My wife asks our mild mannered 9 year old daughter what she did in recess (at our private Christian school). She exclaims, “we played synchronized pole dancing!” Umm, do what? “Yeah, me and so and so did dance moves around the pole while so and so watched”.

I believe those will be included in chapter 4 of my parenting book.

 

[FaangDawg]

Congratulations Cochise!
I almost never reply, just a lurker, but I’d like to in this case.
When you are about to lose your temper, and you will, slowly count to 10, then start the conversation. When the time for discipline comes, take the time to explain why it’s necessary. This will benefit you both.
It’s important that Mom and you are always on the same team because if not, your child will see it and play you against each other. Children are masters at this.
Most importantly, resemble Jesus Christ as much as you possibly can. Leading your family to Christ is the most important thing you will ever do for them.
Last nugget, love them as fast and as much as you can. In about what seems like a couple of weeks, your child will be the age of the guy in the picture behind the 385, with his arm in the air. That’s my son and it seems about a week ago that I was in the position you are right now…

 

[InTheIttaBenaHotSun]

Congratulations Cochise! A few things come to mind. First, be sure and read to that baby EVERY night. If a child becomes a reader, they'll become a leader. Second, enjoy and appreciate those weekend naps on the couch. You'll fall asleep with them on your chest and when you wake up, they'll be snuggled up underneath your chin. I don't know how they get there but it's cool when they do. At about age 3 or so, you'll be able to start carrying on conversations with them. Their personality will really start to come out about this time as well. When this happens, set up a recording device (something other than your phone) on the corner of the kitchen table during dinner each night. Hit record and let it roll till dinner is done. You and the Mrs. go back in 2 or 3 years and watch those first recordings......just better have a box of Kleenex for her.

Best of luck with everything but you don't need it. You're going to do fine.

 

[CEO2044]

Congrats! We are older parents as well and aren’t done. 33 and 39 when our first was born.

They definitely keep you active, which isn’t a bad thing. But don’t plan to be able to sit down for extended periods of time for a while (when the baby starts getting mobile, anyway).

Let’s see- do your best to get rest when you can until they learn to sleep through the night. This was rough for us. If you can sleep train, do it. Put the poison control number in your phone. Even when you think you’ve baby proofed everything, they’ll find something to get into.

I think older parents appreciate the little things more (JMO). Going through the pregnancy and birth is truly a miracle best understood by those that have done it. Even when it’s tough, try to remember how blessed you are to be in this position. It helps to shift my perspective on the hard days. I’m not saying I don’t get exhausted from constantly picking up after our three year old or preventing him from destroying our house, but I know there will be a day when I wish I could do it again, so I try to be in the moment with him as much as I can and let him play and explore.

Best of luck to both of you and congratulations!!

 

[Dawgbyte75]

Oh, this is definitely the last. We gave it one year, and one of us was about to be fixed. She convinced me to give it 6 more months, lo and behold the math tracks the conception to a baseball weekend in Starkville.

Hey, was that y’all on the balcony of the lofts??

 

[Darryl Steight]

I have 16, 14, and 4. Had the 4 year old at 42. Best advice, be nice and thankful for that 14 year old. That’s your biggest asset. You’re going to need the help. Congratulations!

100%. The age where they want to feel grown up and like to help, but don't have the drivers license so they can get away too easily. I remember those few months of glory lol

 

[AlCoDog]

100%. The age where they want to feel grown up and like to help, but don't have the drivers license so they can get away too easily. I remember those few months of glory lol

Just to have somebody that can give you 10 minutes to s h i t and shower is invaluable.

 

[Fedexdog]

With 2 daughters, I had a small window to impart wisdom. While skiing in Steamboat when they were 13 and 16 I called them over to the trail edge overlooking the beautiful valley. I said to them “Girls, see all of this…you marry the wrong guy and you’ll never see this again. “

 

[BulldogBlitz]

I felt old when my last was born when I was 40. I'm continually asked if I'm picking up grandkids at school.

Heh...


No advice. Good luck.

 

[Darryl Steight]

I felt old when my last was born when I was 40. I'm continually asked if I'm picking up grandkids at school.

Heh...


No advice. Good luck.

True story, I was asked if I was the dad in the hospital when I was to sign some papers after the birth. I said yes, beaming with pride. The nurse said, "of the baby, right?" I then realized she was confirming I was the father of my newborn daughter and not my wife...

I guess I could've taken that with a little pride too. I can still satisfy the young(er) ladies.**

 

[Rupert Jenkins]

Tell her you are running to the store for some beer and never return

 

[SwampDawg]

The spanking reminiscence thread made this inevitable. I became a grandfather before I became a father. Allow, me to explain:

My wife and I wed while y'all watched LoTan do this:



The reception was at a Minor League Ball park.

She had 3 children from her previous marriage and a grandson, who was about 3 months old when we started dating. I'm the only grandpa he and his younger sister know from this side of the family. The biological father, her ex, is barely in their lives and that's being generous.

So, I've been a grandfather and a stepfather (ages 14, 21, and 23 now) for several years, but this will be my first biological son...at 41 years of age.

Lil Cochise's induction date is Valentine's Day, so I don't have much time to soak in the cumulative "expert" knowledge SPS has to offer. My biggest concern is seeing the Mrs in pain and the 2-3 day hospital stay.

Teach, instruct and discipline when needed, but also love, embrace, praise and support. The last part is so important, please don't forget.

 

[dawgstudent]

True story, I was asked if I was the dad in the hospital when I was to sign some papers after the birth. I said yes, beaming with pride. The nurse said, "of the baby, right?" I then realized she was confirming I was the father of my newborn daughter and not my wife...

I guess I could've taken that with a little pride too. I can still satisfy the young(er) ladies.**

Was this the 10th child?

 

[dawgman42]

Are you going to name him Dale?

 

[Dawgbite]

Congratulations Cochise. We are opposite sides of the coin. The week before I turned 41 , I watched mine graduate at Mississippi State University with a double major. I became debt free and retired at 55, you’re probably not doing that! You’ll be shopping for a good used electric transport pod for a first time pod driver.

 

[Darryl Steight]

Was this the 10th child?

Sounds right, I lost count at some point.