i remember my dad telling me "im going to whip you so hard you can't sit down, then im going to whip you for not sitting down when i tell you to". im like , "that s double jeopardy"
OT: Point of Order
- Thread starter PooPopsBaldHead
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Privet hedge branch end about 18 inches long. And we had to pick it out and peel the leaves ourselves, just to pour salt in the wound
I think calling CPS for modestly applied spankings in specific instances is certainly over the top. That being said, there’s a fine line, and many parents way overstep it.
Not to be a stick (or a switch) in the mud, but my wife grew up in a household where she was spanked for things like accidentally spilling a glass of milk and not finishing her dinner. There’s no other word for that besides child abuse. As such, we made the conscious decision not to spank our kids so as to not even start venturing down that slippery slope, so that our kids don’t ever get subjected to that or even the fear of it.
There’s also plenty of Ivy League studies and other peer reviewed psychological studies that associate negative outcomes with spankings in a majority of cases, specifically beyond a certain age. Regardless, its my belief after a lot of research that its perhaps still effective for certain ages and behavior patterns. I don’t judge any of my friends (or even my own parents) for doing it. Every kid is different, and so is what makes them tick. But there are certainly other disciplinary actions that are also effective, and I don’t think anyone who makes a conscious decision not to spank is automatically a soft parent that is getting railroaded by their kids.
Gotta say, I'm with Perd on this one. Borderline Gen X-er (1980) here. Growing up, I was hit with everything (belt, hand, paddle, switch, vacuum cleaner cord, fly swatter, etc.), but I don't think it made me a better person or really even deterred me from disobeying or being more careful not to make mistakes. It just made me better a hiding it. To me, taking away my ability to go somewhere or do something was always more of a punishment than a whippin'.
That being said, for some reason, I had it in my mind that I was going to spank my kids because I went through it and it allegedly helped me "grow up right". I spanked my oldest once and I felt so terrible about it that I never did it again. It was kind of in that moment that I realized I wasn't really spanking her to teach her a lesson or help her in any way. I spanked her because I was mad at what she did and it was an outlet for me to express that anger and make me feel better, which really made me feel like sht. So... I never did it again and I mean... so far so good.
Also, that being said... 17 those hipster Gen Y'ers and/or Z'ers and their urban farms.
That being said, for some reason, I had it in my mind that I was going to spank my kids because I went through it and it allegedly helped me "grow up right". I spanked my oldest once and I felt so terrible about it that I never did it again. It was kind of in that moment that I realized I wasn't really spanking her to teach her a lesson or help her in any way. I spanked her because I was mad at what she did and it was an outlet for me to express that anger and make me feel better, which really made me feel like sht. So... I never did it again and I mean... so far so good.
Also, that being said... 17 those hipster Gen Y'ers and/or Z'ers and their urban farms.
I was whipped with a belt, but in every instance i was spanked or whipped or disciplined i was told ahead of time what would happen if i did xyz again.
And it happened.
It didn't take long for me to listen the first time. Sometimes I did warrant a reminder.
Same here. My mom’s weapon of choice was the spatula. I don’t really have any long term positive or negative effects from it….but mainly I feel there was never much of an association that I formed with the behavior that was being corrected. It hurt, but it was quick and then it was over. As such, no long term association, and I didn’t really feel compelled to change much. I didn’t get spanked a ton, but it happened enough times that I feel like I should remember at least one thing I did to deserve one of them, yet I cannot.
Conversely, 30 years later, I can still tell you exactly what me and my sister did to make my parents so mad that they cut what was supposed to be a 3 day trip to Six Flags two days short. Jumping on the hotel bed repeatedly during nap time was no bueno. That sh*t stuck with me.
How many of y'all remember the pre-spanking ritual of "this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you"? And my personal favorite, the post-spanking ritual of "now hug my neck". That was the worst. You just beat my ***, the last thing in the world I want to do right now is hug you.
Children today based on current environments aren't subjected to shame for bad behavior and grow up with a mentality that the world owes them the same level of comfort their mother's give them.. The results are evident. "Spare The Rod, Spoil The Child". God Said It, I Believe It and That Settles IT. The Overwhelming percentage of today's CEO's received corporal punishment. Oh, and does anybody remember principals having boards with holes drilled in them?
my mom never whipped me, she never had the heart. she would just wait for my dad to get home from work. my dad would whip me on the butt with a belt. always with whatever i was wearing on. i was never whipped across the back or anywhere else. i was occasionally whipped with the switch but usually the belt. i DESERVED every single whipping i got , i was never whipped because someone was having a bad day. obviously i was young and can t remember everything but im about 99% sure my dad never had to whip me twice for the same thing.
Dad explained it to my brother & me this way: When a mule starts misbehaving, you stop the plow, get a stick from the edge of the field and pop him between the eyes to get his attention. When I pop you on the *** (he used his bare hand) I’m not beating or abusing you. I’m getting your attention.
Samuel Butler said it/wrote it. And when Butler wrote it he was mocking Puritans and how they disciplined their offspring.
There are several verses in the Book of Proverbs that refer to sparing the rod.
SOAPBOX: As we receive from our Heavenly Father, parents must extend an abundance of intention, grace, and mercy to their children. Effective discipline can only come by way of Godly inspired discipleship, bound in love.
OFF SOAPBOX: When you bop your child make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. God and they will know if you don't and YOU WILL ATONE.
And, yes, I do remember the paddles with the holes in them. We had a assistant principal who had an oversized paddle he kept at his belt. Looked to be close to a hundred holes in it and he could sure make it whistle.
Spanking in our house is the last straw basically. One daughter has been spanked maybe twice and the other 4 or 5 times. They’re 10. Spanking isn’t a punishment for small things, it’s for the big 17 ups or outright really bad disobedience.
Proverbs says a lot about kids. My favorite is “foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from them.” Forgive me if I didn’t quote that perfectly.
You nailed it. Chapter 22, verse 15 of the King's version.
At least they're in Eastern Washington. Much better than Western Washington.
I spanked my kids when they were young. I was consistent enough that my kids learned that I was not going to let them get away with acting like a brat.
I simultaneously approached spanking my kids with love and explanation of why it was important that I follow through with my mandate as a father to make sure they weren't raised to be spoiled. I learned that spanking out of anger resulted in rebellion. Spanking out of genuine love fostered respect and reciprocal love.
Because I was consistent and loving, I RARELY had to spank my kids at all after age 5. I could give them a raised eyebrow, and they would adjust. Now my kids are 15, 12, and 9 (almost). We enjoy peace and harmony. They don't act like brats with my wife and me or with others (from what other parents tell me).
Consistency
LOVE
Mercy
Compassion
I will admit I never got "structured" A$$ whoopins as they were always from an angered parent. One of the worst ones was on an early Saturday morning when I was 17ing with my younger brother on what cartoon to watch and it woke my hungover dad who at the moment was suffering from about 3 hours sleep in desperate need of more. Betsy left red marks on my A$$ thru my PJ's.
May or may not have been designing a website to let people know my two gay pigs escaped through the barbed wire fence I paid a family of migrants to install.
It warms my heart when these people say they are forward thinking, progressive, organic farmers because they have a 17ing garden in their yard. It’s just so progressive to do what basically the entire non-aristocratic world was doing for all of mankind prior to 1900. I didn’t know my granddaddy was so hipster back in the 80s.
