Why I know this board is on life support.......isn't there an important board anniversary approaching?
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post things that suck
- Thread starter Nitt1300
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DARK SUCKERS!
For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a spokesman from the Labs, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of
light, and that dark is faster than light.
The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room.
As with all things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the path of the dark flowing into the candle. Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a very limited range.
There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in these can't handle all of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the solid wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount of heat. Thus it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle.
Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets darker and darker. When you reach a depth of approximately fifty feet, you are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats to the top.
The immense power of dark can be utilized to a man's advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes and push it through turbines, which generates electricity and helps push it to the ocean where it may be safely stored. Prior to turbines, it was much more difficult to get dark from rivers and lakes to the ocean. Native Americans recognized this problem and tried to solve it. When on a river in a canoe traveling in the same direction as the flow of dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the flow of dark, but when they traveled against the flow of dark, they paddled quickly so as to help push the dark along its way.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you stand in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly open the door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, but since the dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.
In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our lives much easier. So the next time you look at an electric light bulb, remember that it is indeed a dark sucker.
For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a spokesman from the Labs, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of
light, and that dark is faster than light.
The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room.
As with all things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the path of the dark flowing into the candle. Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a very limited range.
There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in these can't handle all of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the solid wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount of heat. Thus it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle.
Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets darker and darker. When you reach a depth of approximately fifty feet, you are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats to the top.
The immense power of dark can be utilized to a man's advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes and push it through turbines, which generates electricity and helps push it to the ocean where it may be safely stored. Prior to turbines, it was much more difficult to get dark from rivers and lakes to the ocean. Native Americans recognized this problem and tried to solve it. When on a river in a canoe traveling in the same direction as the flow of dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the flow of dark, but when they traveled against the flow of dark, they paddled quickly so as to help push the dark along its way.
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you stand in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly open the door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, but since the dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.
In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our lives much easier. So the next time you look at an electric light bulb, remember that it is indeed a dark sucker.
Getting older. (Today I have to prep for my 1st colonoscopy)
Not sure of what your prep is but I've had 2 so far and the prep has improved drastically since my first one.
My first one probably 13 years ago I had to drink 8 oz of the terrible tasting liquid every 10 minutes for an hour.
Much better when I had my last one in 2020.
BTW, if you are have both the upper and the lower make sure the Dr. does the upper first.
Around the bowl and down the hole, Roll, Tide, Roll!
All kidding aside, good luck.
Preparing is the difficult part
The colonoscopy is as painless as Whistling Dixi 🫣
And the sleep, that’s awesome.
Skip the prep. Your gastroenterologist will love you.
Had the same doc for all three, a nice Indian lady. (The country of India!)
Last time she came in to say hi as I was gowning up and getting ready to be wheeled in. I said something along the lines of “nice to see you again”. She said “I don’t recognize you, but bend over and I’m sure I will.”
We both got a good smile with that one….
The prep has gotten better (less bad) over the years…..the procedure itself is absolutely painless and the nap time is spectacular.
Last time she came in to say hi as I was gowning up and getting ready to be wheeled in. I said something along the lines of “nice to see you again”. She said “I don’t recognize you, but bend over and I’m sure I will.”
We both got a good smile with that one….
The prep has gotten better (less bad) over the years…..the procedure itself is absolutely painless and the nap time is spectacular.
Hey Illi, you gonna share that big lottery win with the board?
I hear he's holding out for a moderator job.
HA - I’m holding out almost as long as Bob’s holding on.
Just checked with Fonz. If he won it, he’s not talking!
turns out the damage wasn't as bad as was initially feared. City Inspectors found the building to be structurally sound. And per a Philadelphia Inquirer article (behind a paywall):
"much of the timeless memorabilia in the building, such as photographs, survived the fire."
The owner speculated that Jim's will re-open by Memorial Day 2023, but acknowledged that he was just throwing out that date as a goal, without having done an analysis.
Thank you, Tom, for posting to an existing thread rather than starting a new one
Can you mail me some of whatever you’re inhaling? Unless it’s from your vacuum cleaner bag.
919? So if she went 24 hrs straight, each guy gets about 95 seconds. Plenty of time for BobThis woman obviously sucks. How else could she have sex with 919 men in one day?
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