Why do parents suck? (Youth Baseball)

[beachbumdawg]

I’ll preface this to say - I am a paid coach (minimal) and yes I have a kid on team

it’s fall season so I understand other sports are being played - we have practices 2x per week (one indoor/outdoor) open for everyone-if you can’t make it, ok, get your work in on the other days

all that said, we have 12 on the roster understanding that we’re most likely playing with 9 or 10 - this past weekend had all 12 - so more sitting than most parents like (I’ve erred on sitting mine more - he gets ABs and plays wherever/whenever - I don’t care if he’s in RF, C, SS etc) he’s 11 - that will all sort itself out in 3-4 years

one particular kid in midst of football hasn’t made many if any practices (remember get your work in) and has left tournaments early for football - ok no problem- we work defense and bench based on who is coming and going

yesterday said kid sat for 3innings total but is hitting in the 5 spot - he’s starting the game sitting because, he’s the first guy up to warm to go in to pitch if starter is off or is getting shelled in bracket

ole dad (who is a varsity fb coach and hc for varsity on WBB) shows up late to game after tying one on (again) at BWWs - he gets pissed “his boy is sitting” again (let’s everyone know his displeasure at facility) - he tells his boy, pack your stuff we’re leaving in bottom 1st with his boy on deck coming up in top of 2nd

I’ve had great experiences with parents overall over the years

it just sucks for the kid that not only is he teaching that kind of life lesson to his son but that he also gets to impact other kids as well whom is not his

 

[Bulldog45]

Way I see it if you’re getting paid then the parents are paying customers. Need to draw a clear distinction between an all volunteer share the cost approach or paid serious travel ball where you play down to get those rings.

 

[Drebin]

I’ll preface this to say - I am a paid coach (minimal) and yes I have a kid on team

it’s fall season so I understand other sports are being played - we have practices 2x per week (one indoor/outdoor) open for everyone-if you can’t make it, ok, get your work in on the other days

all that said, we have 12 on the roster understanding that we’re most likely playing with 9 or 10 - this past weekend had all 12 - so more sitting than most parents like (I’ve erred on sitting mine more - he gets ABs and plays wherever/whenever - I don’t care if he’s in RF, C, SS etc) he’s 11 - that will all sort itself out in 3-4 years

one particular kid in midst of football hasn’t made many if any practices (remember get your work in) and has left tournaments early for football - ok no problem- we work defense and bench based on who is coming and going

yesterday said kid sat for 3innings total but is hitting in the 5 spot - he’s starting the game sitting because, he’s the first guy up to warm to go in to pitch if starter is off or is getting shelled in bracket

ole dad (who is a varsity fb coach and hc for varsity on WBB) shows up late to game after tying one on (again) at BWWs - he gets pissed “his boy is sitting” again (let’s everyone know his displeasure at facility) - he tells his boy, pack your stuff we’re leaving in bottom 1st with his boy on deck coming up in top of 2nd

I’ve had great experiences with parents overall over the years

it just sucks for the kid that not only is he teaching that kind of life lesson to his son but that he also gets to impact other kids as well whom is not his

I always set clear expectations with parents in writing in the preseason, particularly around playing time and positions, and disagreement with coaches. If I still catch parent problems, then they are politely encouraged to find another club. I can't remember the last parent problem I had and my teams have very little turnover. My parents have been very loyal over the years, and I think treating everyone the same way has a lot to do with that, So it really depends on how much you're willing to put up with as a coach and if you're willing to bounce one of your better players.

I realize this is much easier said than done, but it's worked for me.

 

[horshack.sixpack]

I’ll preface this to say - I am a paid coach (minimal) and yes I have a kid on team

it’s fall season so I understand other sports are being played - we have practices 2x per week (one indoor/outdoor) open for everyone-if you can’t make it, ok, get your work in on the other days

all that said, we have 12 on the roster understanding that we’re most likely playing with 9 or 10 - this past weekend had all 12 - so more sitting than most parents like (I’ve erred on sitting mine more - he gets ABs and plays wherever/whenever - I don’t care if he’s in RF, C, SS etc) he’s 11 - that will all sort itself out in 3-4 years

one particular kid in midst of football hasn’t made many if any practices (remember get your work in) and has left tournaments early for football - ok no problem- we work defense and bench based on who is coming and going

yesterday said kid sat for 3innings total but is hitting in the 5 spot - he’s starting the game sitting because, he’s the first guy up to warm to go in to pitch if starter is off or is getting shelled in bracket

ole dad (who is a varsity fb coach and hc for varsity on WBB) shows up late to game after tying one on (again) at BWWs - he gets pissed “his boy is sitting” again (let’s everyone know his displeasure at facility) - he tells his boy, pack your stuff we’re leaving in bottom 1st with his boy on deck coming up in top of 2nd

I’ve had great experiences with parents overall over the years

it just sucks for the kid that not only is he teaching that kind of life lesson to his son but that he also gets to impact other kids as well whom is not his

Adults are the very worst part of youth sports.

 

[NawlBennyDawg]

I’ll preface this to say - I am a paid coach (minimal) and yes I have a kid on team

it’s fall season so I understand other sports are being played - we have practices 2x per week (one indoor/outdoor) open for everyone-if you can’t make it, ok, get your work in on the other days

all that said, we have 12 on the roster understanding that we’re most likely playing with 9 or 10 - this past weekend had all 12 - so more sitting than most parents like (I’ve erred on sitting mine more - he gets ABs and plays wherever/whenever - I don’t care if he’s in RF, C, SS etc) he’s 11 - that will all sort itself out in 3-4 years

one particular kid in midst of football hasn’t made many if any practices (remember get your work in) and has left tournaments early for football - ok no problem- we work defense and bench based on who is coming and going

yesterday said kid sat for 3innings total but is hitting in the 5 spot - he’s starting the game sitting because, he’s the first guy up to warm to go in to pitch if starter is off or is getting shelled in bracket

ole dad (who is a varsity fb coach and hc for varsity on WBB) shows up late to game after tying one on (again) at BWWs - he gets pissed “his boy is sitting” again (let’s everyone know his displeasure at facility) - he tells his boy, pack your stuff we’re leaving in bottom 1st with his boy on deck coming up in top of 2nd

I’ve had great experiences with parents overall over the years

it just sucks for the kid that not only is he teaching that kind of life lesson to his son but that he also gets to impact other kids as well whom is not his

You gotta realize that the parents believe that there are at least 5 MLB scouts at your peewee games at all times.

 

[The Cooterpoot]

Let them go and be happy they're gone. I'd carry 15 /16 and expect it a couple times, but that's me. Generally every team loses a couple kids like that.

 

[beachbumdawg]

Way I see it if you’re getting paid then the parents are paying customers. Need to draw a clear distinction between an all volunteer share the cost approach or paid serious travel ball where you play down to get those rings.

We don’t play down to get rings - never will

and yes expectations were set

 

[beachbumdawg]

Let them go and be happy they're gone. I'd carry 15 /16 and expect it a couple times, but that's me. Generally every team loses a couple kids like that.

don’t get me wrong- we’re a better “family” with him gone - he got kicked out of our first tournament in our first pool play game of the fall

I let the powers to be of the org that that type of behavior is unacceptable

 

[kired]

You're probably opening old wounds from when dad had to ride the bench at that age

 

[hatfieldms]

It is definitely a balancing act. We usually carry 11-12, and while we bat 11 during pool play we shrink it down to 9 for bracket play. Sure you have to have conversations at times but as I tell the parents at the beginning of the season. We don't look at names when putting the line ups together for bracket play. Only on who is swinging the hot bats and can help us. W also usually EH/DH two kids so it keeps them involved.

But at the end of the day I have always said if you need to get something good and ****** up, just get youth sports parents involved.

 

[columbiadawg2]

Adults are the very worst part of youth sports.

 

[horshack.sixpack]

It also occured to me that on a forum this large there is at least one of "those parents". I wonder if they know they suck or if they are like the idiots on their phone driving and assume they are doing a pretty good job of it.

 

[OG Goat Holder]

Sounds like the problem is the kids that play multiple sports. I've thought about this a lot over the years. We just decided that we no longer will play fall baseball - it's football season. We will find a league/team to play for in the spring. But....that's me being reasonable, rather than trying to change the system. However if we did play fall ball, and we missed a bunch of practice, I wouldn't worry too much about PT.

The reality is, people are going to play baseball in the fall, no matter what anyone thinks about it. And if that means my kid gets behind by not doing it, guess baseball isn't his career path. There are worse tragedies in life. This is the first year we've bailed on the fall, so I guess we will see if it amounts to much.

It is funny to me though, why everybody thinks baseball deserves more year-round 'work' than other sports? I know, I know....reps, blah blah. But I don't buy it. Soccer is the same way. Those two DOMINATE the travel circuit. Why is this?

 

[HailStout]

Sounds like the problem is the kids that play multiple sports. I've thought about this a lot over the years. We just decided that we no longer will play fall baseball - it's football season. We will find a league/team to play for in the spring. But....that's me being reasonable, rather than trying to change the system. However if we did play fall ball, and we missed a bunch of practice, I wouldn't worry too much about PT.

The reality is, people are going to play baseball in the fall, no matter what anyone thinks about it. And if that means my kid gets behind by not doing, guess baseball isn't his career path. There are worse tragedies in life. This is the first year we've bailed on the fall, so I guess we will see it amounts to much.

It is funny to me though, why everybody thinks baseball deserves more year-round 'work' than other sports? I know, I know....reps, blah blah. But I don't buy it. Soccer is the same way. Those two DOMINATE the travel circuit. Why is this?

Well, soccer being year round is the commies trying to infiltrate the USA

 

[J-Dawg]

It is funny to me though, why everybody thinks baseball deserves more year-round 'work' than other sports? I know, I know....reps, blah blah. But I don't buy it. Soccer is the same way. Those two DOMINATE the travel circuit. Why is this?

ETA: Those two dominate the youth circuit, but then when you get up to high school age, you find AAU bball and 7v7 football start to dominate as well in their own right. Same answer, though.... $$ to be made.

 

[dorndawg]

I always set clear expectations with parents in writing in the preseason, particularly around playing time and positions, and disagreement with coaches. If I still catch parent problems, then they are politely encouraged to find another club. I can't remember the last parent problem I had and my teams have very little turnover. My parents have been very loyal over the years, and I think treating everyone the same way has a lot to do with that, So it really depends on how much you're willing to put up with as a coach and if you're willing to bounce one of your better players.

I realize this is much easier said than done, but it's worked for me.

What are you coaching, youth travel buffet eating?***********

 

[Drebin]

What are you coaching, youth travel buffet eating?***********

the Young Republicans Debate Team.

We're 1482-0

 

[dorndawg]

the Young Republicans Debate Team.

We're 1482-0

You sound like real Master Debaters!

 

[OG Goat Holder]

ETA: Those two dominate the youth circuit, but then when you get up to high school age, you find AAU bball and 7v7 football start to dominate as well in their own right. Same answer, though.... $$ to be made.

Fair enough, but at least you can semi-call them young adults at that age, and that the skill development can actually take hold.

 

[Drebin]

Sounds like the problem is the kids that play multiple sports. I've thought about this a lot over the years. We just decided that we no longer will play fall baseball - it's football season. We will find a league/team to play for in the spring. But....that's me being reasonable, rather than trying to change the system. However if we did play fall ball, and we missed a bunch of practice, I wouldn't worry too much about PT.

The reality is, people are going to play baseball in the fall, no matter what anyone thinks about it. And if that means my kid gets behind by not doing it, guess baseball isn't his career path. There are worse tragedies in life. This is the first year we've bailed on the fall, so I guess we will see if it amounts to much.

It is funny to me though, why everybody thinks baseball deserves more year-round 'work' than other sports? I know, I know....reps, blah blah. But I don't buy it. Soccer is the same way. Those two DOMINATE the travel circuit. Why is this?

I hear what you're saying. This isn't going to be a flame post.

The big thing is that there's tremendous pressure to go year round, because there are other teams and other kids in the area that go year round - and that pressure isn't always coming from coaches. I actually limit fall to two tournaments, maybe three, and use that time to play kids in different spots, try different things, etc. But if we aren't playing fall ball or going through an off season program, my own parents will be asking why, because Jimmy's team down the road is doing it, and there's an opinion that if my kid isn't working, he's falling behind the kid down the street that is working. Coaches from other programs will try to use it against me and get in parents' ears and try to poach my players. That's the seedy part of competitive ball that I hate.

There are some kids who are just naturally talented and don't need the reps. Most kids do if they want to keep up. That's been my experience. And particularly with pitching, the offseason is the perfect time to work on mechanics, building up arm strength, and learning new pitches. You don't want to be doing that in the middle of the season.

 

[Drebin]

You sound like real Master Debaters!

Yeah, we're pretty hard to beat.

 

[J-Dawg]

I've been intrigued by these youth sports threads lately. My son is 5 and is on his 4th "season" of baseball (spring, fall, spring, this fall). He's fast as greased lightening and can hit coach-pitch probably better than 80% of the other kids out there. I don't push him to play and most of the time he's more worried about post-game Gatoraide and cheez-its.

I say all that to say: we don't do the travel thing yet. Think it's ridiculous that so many parents have their kids doing it at his age in our area (Jackson metro). Is it even about the kid at that point, or is it more of an activity for the parents? I wish more folks would ask themselves that.

I've helped coach his team each season he's played, mainly because I enjoy helping out and is rewarding to me to watch them learn to like the game. However, even in our rec league, you can see the worst in youth sports and it's 100% the parents. Arguments, coaches running up the score with unsportsmanlike play when 95% of the kids can't hardly field a grounder AND make a throw to first. What are you even teaching them? Is winning or fundamentals more important at that age?

Coworker of mine was a D-1 pitcher (C-USA) and played several years in the minors. He's several years younger than me and came through HS just as the whole travel ball movement was gaining steam. He's been involved in coaching travel ball teams after his playing days are done. Says the same thing over and over that no one who drops all that serious coin on their kids wants to hear; "If your kid is good enough, he will get recognized". He also said that if you are hell-bent on spending money on your kid for baseball, that hiring a private throwing or batting coach is a no-doubt better return on your investment. Baseball is still a team sport... if little Johnny is an all-star player but a chump teammate and/or uncoachable, then it doesn't matter how good they are or how many travel ball rings they won.

 

[jethreauxdawg]

My favorite parent is the one who wants the entire park to know it’s not his fault his boy sucks. There is a boy on my son’s team this year that is really bad. His dad loudly yells at his kid after every mistake “why don’t you do it like I showed you at home.” Or “you keep striking out because you want to do it your way, instead of how I told you.” “Stand in there.” “Don’t just stand there”. “What kind of swing is that?!”. “Where is that throw to?” “Why are you throwing with a limp wrist?” This one I yelled back, “it’s genetic”. Feel bad for the kid. No way he wants to be out there or practice with his dad at home.

 

[Drebin]

Baseball is still a team sport... if little Johnny is an all-star player but a chump teammate and/or uncoachable, then it doesn't matter how good they are or how many travel ball rings they won.

This is the money quote. Scouts roll through and watch these 16u, 17u, and 18u showcase tournaments all the time, and they'll pass on a kid in a heartbeat, no matter how good he is, if he shows up a teammate or a coach, or fusses at an umpire, doesn't run out a ground ball, and stuff like that. It's never too early to start teaching kids that they never know who's watching them at a ball field.

 

[J-Dawg]

Fair enough, but at least you can semi-call them young adults at that age, and that the skill development can actually take hold.

Thats true. And I'm not totally anti-travel teams. I see them as a real benefit especially in areas where there may not be much competition.

I hear what you're saying. This isn't going to be a flame post.

The big thing is that there's tremendous pressure to go year round, because there are other teams and other kids in the area that go year round - and that pressure isn't always coming from coaches. I actually limit fall to two tournaments, maybe three, and use that time to play kids in different spots, try different things, etc. But if we aren't playing fall ball or going through an off season program, my own parents will be asking why, because Jimmy's team down the road is doing it, and there's an opinion that if my kid isn't working, he's falling behind the kid down the street that is working. Coaches from other programs will try to use it against me and get in parents' ears and try to poach my players. That's the seedy part of competitive ball that I hate.

There are some kids who are just naturally talented and don't need the reps. Most kids do if they want to keep up. That's been my experience. And particularly with pitching, the offseason is the perfect time to work on mechanics, building up arm strength, and learning new pitches. You don't want to be doing that in the middle of the season.

So that brings the conversation full circle. The parents are the worst part of youth sports.

 

[OG Goat Holder]

Coworker of mine was a D-1 pitcher (C-USA) and played several years in the minors. He's several years younger than me and came through HS just as the whole travel ball movement was gaining steam. He's been involved in coaching travel ball teams after his playing days are done. Says the same thing over and over that no one who drops all that serious coin on their kids wants to hear; "If your kid is good enough, he will get recognized". He also said that if you are hell-bent on spending money on your kid for baseball, that hiring a private throwing or batting coach is a no-doubt better return on your investment. Baseball is still a team sport... if little Johnny is an all-star player but a chump teammate and/or uncoachable, then it doesn't matter how good they are or how many travel ball rings they won.

They say all that to you privately, but they won't publicly condemn it, because they are on the paid gravy train too. And by the time your kid is 8, paid coaches will be the norm in that age travel ball - trust me - it's happening. The cost is about to go up even more.

We have created an economy out of this - a generation of college graduates who played sports, and now they offer their services to kids, and parents are all too willing to give them money.

We won't know for 20 more years if it works.

 

[OG Goat Holder]

Thats true. And I'm not totally anti-travel teams. I see them as a real benefit especially in areas where there may not be much competition.

That's what sucks. Many Jackson burbs could have a kickass rec league all the way through 6th grade if they wanted. Birmingham (over the mountain) had one of the best I've ever seen, but kids definitely started getting picked off in 5th grade for travel.

You need Parks and Rec folks who care and are united. But they aren't, and they see the money travel generates too. There's no going back. Have to embrace it and weather it the best you can.

One thing I've figured out - MS is a baseball state. THAT is where the interest is. We have (or had) a lot of basketball and football players in the past, but I'm starting to realize why they go out of state. The culture and interest is better in other places.

Is travel ball the way we do it, the best to develop kids? I don't know anymore, I'm not going to judge. But the competition is definitely there, at all levels. Again, we'll see in 20 years.

 

[J-Dawg]

They say all that to you privately, but they won't publicly condemn it, because they are on the paid gravy train too. And by the time your kid is 8, paid coaches will be the norm in that age travel ball - trust me - it's happening. The cost is about to go up even more.

We have created an economy out of this - a generation of college graduates who played sports, and now they offer their services to kids, and parents are all too willing to give them money.

We won't know for 20 more years if it works.

Unfortunately I think you're right. More innocence of childhood being ripped away by idiot parents of this and recent generations.

Kids won't know what it's like to play on your city rec team against all your best buddies, then anxiously awaiting the end of the season to see if you made "tournament team" and could go play a few local tournaments with your buddies. That format seemed to work fine; gave an incentive to the kids to work hard and do good during the season.

 

[Yeti]

That poor kid probably will inherit dad’s stupidity and small D***. Cause he obviously trying to compensate

 

[aTotal360]

I coach 3rd grade pee wee football in a fairly competitive area. The key is the initial practice. I lay out to the parents how everything will work. The games are rewards. Period. Hope your kid earns the reward.

 

[Pilgrimdawg]

When my boys were growing up I coached rec ball for 13 years. We had a good time and made a lot of friends. Only hated by 2 parents that I knew of…… unfortunately the world has changed. My grandkids briefly played rec baseball and rec soccer. It is no longer a safe environment and no one is learning anything, at least around here. Now my son coaches his sons travel baseball team and his daughter plays travel soccer too. It’s not that they want to be playing travel ball all the time and gone almost every weekend but there just isn’t a good option if your kids want to play and have any chance to compete later on. It’s hard to play or watch baseball wearing a bulletproof vest. No thank you.

 

[DerHntr]

Threads like this remind me how lucky I am that my boys didn’t want to play soccer or baseball for very long. We got to see them try it out when they were little and when it was fun. They missed all the BS you guys are discussing.

Seeing our friends and one family member travel most weekends for tournaments is pretty wild. Each to his own, but I like the deer camp travel team we joined a lot more.

 

[PooPopsBaldHead]

As much time, energy, effort, and money as people spend (some may even say waste) on their kid's travel sports, many are bound to get upset and irrational when it doesn't go the way they (the parents) dream it will. It's bound to get pretty toxic and if you participate you have to expect it. Similar to being a State fan... I spend way to much time, effort, and money on this shít and It never pans out like I want.

 

[ZombieKissinger]

don’t get me wrong- we’re a better “family” with him gone - he got kicked out of our first tournament in our first pool play game of the fall

I let the powers to be of the org that that type of behavior is unacceptable

I like his intensity. Have we looked at him as our next head football coach?

 

[ETK99]

Thats true. And I'm not totally anti-travel teams. I see them as a real benefit especially in areas where there may not be much competition.

So that brings the conversation full circle. The parents are the worst part of youth sports.

No, just the ignorant parents.

 

[Johnnie Come Lately]

I don't think its a problem that is unique to travel sports, or sports in general .

 

[OG Goat Holder]

Threads like this remind me how lucky I am that my boys didn’t want to play soccer or baseball for very long. We got to see them try it out when they were little and when it was fun. They missed all the BS you guys are discussing.

Seeing our friends and one family member travel most weekends for tournaments is pretty wild. Each to his own, but I like the deer camp travel team we joined a lot more.

Lot of podcasts out there talking about it's accelerating the decline of baseball in the US. Not really sure if that's a tangible thing or not. I guess it is in the poor areas.

If it's really causing less kids to be future 'fans' of baseball, I guess you could say it may be a reason why soccer hasn't taken hold in this country.

But there again, football and basketball are #1 and #2, and less kids of all play them, so that theory doesn't make sense. But at least in football, it's available for you to play, pretty much all the way through high school.

 

[johnson86-1]

I coach 3rd grade pee wee football in a fairly competitive area. The key is the initial practice. I lay out to the parents how everything will work. The games are rewards. Period. Hope your kid earns the reward.

And that’s not insane or 17ing stupid at all. Only 3-4 years away from those kids hitting puberty. Definitely want to start weeding out the ones that aren’t taking it seriously yet by limiting their playing time.

 

[vhdawg]

don’t get me wrong- we’re a better “family” with him gone - he got kicked out of our first tournament in our first pool play game of the fall

 

[vhdawg]

Somebody remind me what the D1 scholarship limit is on baseball?