The most embarrassing non-conference games of the 2022 season

Thursday, we looked at the 25 best non-conference games of the season. Today, we’re going to spotlight the most embarrassing non-conference games of the season, all involving FBS teams (in most cases Power 5 squads) playing FCS teams.

A couple of things:

• We know that some of the Power 5 teams we’re picking on today do have some good non-conference games. And we’re aware that some of these spotlighted games were scheduled at the (relatively) last minute. But that in no way absolves anyone of blame. Fans have to shell out big bucks to see fare that, to steal an old lyric from Drive-By Truckers, is so disgusting that even wild dogs would disregard the bones.

• We are not being derisive of or impugning FCS football. We’re not averse to FBS/FCS games per se. What we don’t like are Power 5 teams – especially the ones with clout – scheduling games against bad FCS teams. “Bad” is the operative word. For the most part, Power 5 teams don’t want anything to do with top-level FCS programs. There are some exceptions, among them South Dakota State at Iowa on September 3; Sam Houston State at Texas A&M on September 3; Montana State vs. Oregon State in Portland on September 17; and, most notably, North Dakota State at Arizona on September 17.

Unfortunately, there are more bad FBS-FCS games to choose from than good ones. Here are the 12 most cringe-worthy games this season involving FBS schools and FCS programs. (This is Part 4 of what was planned to be a four-part series. Tuesday, we had a broad overview of conference schedules. Wednesday, we looked at teams that had tough September schedules – and a few that don’t. Thursday we had the best non-conference games. We’re adding a Part 5, which will come Monday and look at important conference games in September.)

12. Western Illinois at Minnesota, September 10
The buzz: Western Illinois has won four games in the past three seasons, and the Leathernecks have had just two winning records in the past 11 years. They did beat a FBS team in 2016, downing Northern Illinois in one of the seasons in that span in which they had a winning record.

11. Western Carolina at Georgia Tech, September 10
The buzz: Western Carolina has won 11 games in the past four seasons and has four winning records this century. Second-year coach Kerwin Bell appears to have the program on the right track, but …

10. Abilene Christian at Missouri, September 17
The buzz: Abilene Christian was an NAIA and Division II power, but it has struggled since moving to the FCS ranks in 2013. The Wildcats have had losing records in six of the past seven seasons; in the one winning season, they were 6-5. In its past five games against FBS opponents, all losses, Abilene Christian has surrendered 238 points and three times allowed at least 51.

9. Southern Utah at Utah, September 10
The buzz: Southern Utah (which has a cool nickname: the Thunderbirds) is 6-34 since the start of the 2018 season. It played two FBS teams last season and was outscored 86-28 by Arizona State and San Jose State. The Thunderbirds gave up more than twice as many points (390) as they scored (185) last season in 11 games.

8. Idaho State at San Diego State, September 10
The buzz: San Diego State actually has a solid non-conference schedule (the Aztecs also play Arizona, Utah and Toledo). But Idaho State is … not good. The Bengals have won six games in the past three seasons; they have five winning records this century and just seven since 1984. Idaho State won one game last season; it was its fourth one-win season in the past 14 years.

7. Tennessee Tech at Kansas, September 2
The buzz: OK, maybe we should cut Kansas some slack, given how bad the Jayhawks have been. Still, Tennessee Tech has had zero winning records since 2011 and just three in the past 20 years. In its past five games against FBS opponents (Tennessee twice, Miami of Ohio, Ball State and Utah State), the Eagles have been outscored 260-42. That’s an average score of 52-8.

6. VMI at Wake Forest, September 1
The buzz: Wake Forest is expected to contend for the ACC title. But while VMI has had back-to-back winning seasons, the Keydets’ 6-2 mark in 2020 was their first winning record since 1981. (Yes, 1981.) VMI was 6-5 last season and played one FBS team. It lost 60-10 to Kent State.

5. Alabama State at UCLA, September 10
The buzz: Alabama State has had six consecutive non-winning seasons, never winning more than five games in that stretch. The Hornets played one FBS team last season and lost 62-0 to Auburn. You sort of wonder why UCLA didn’t try to find a West Coast-based FCS program to beat up on at the Rose Bowl.

4. Lamar at SMU, September 10
The buzz: Lamar resurrected its football program in 2010 after a 20-year hiatus. The Cardinals have had two winning records in the ensuing 12 seasons and have played 11 FBS opponents. They’ve lost all 11 and the average score was 56-6. Six times in those games they allowed at least 59 points, and twice the opponent exceeded 70. In its past three games against FBS teams, Lamar was outscored 193-3 by UTSA (in 2021), Texas A&M (2018) and Texas Tech (2019).

3 & 2. Wagner at Rutgers, September 10
Wagner at Syracuse, October 1
The buzz: We’re grouping these together, and Rutgers and Syracuse can hang their heads in unison. Wagner has won once in the past three seasons. Once. (OK, the 2020 season was just two games, but the Seahawks still are 1-24 since the start of 2019.) Wagner has 16 victories in the past seven seasons.

1. Arkansas-Pine Bluff at Oklahoma State, September 17
The buzz: Oklahoma State is coming off a 12-win season and should be a preseason top-20 team; UAPB, meanwhile, has won 35 games in the past 10 seasons (and that’s with winning 10 in 2012, the first year of that stretch). The Golden Lions have won 19 in the past seven seasons. And in its past five games against FBS opponents (Akron, Arkansas, Arkansas State, FIU and TCU), UAPB has been outscored 239-25. That’s an average score of 48-5.

Of note: Three other non-conference games we’d like to spotlight, though one involves an independent. First, the September 17 Duquesne-at-Hawaii game just for its, well, weirdness. Duquesne is in Pittsburgh and thus will travel about 4,700 air miles to get to the game. It’s the longest road trip for anyone this season. The second: Dixie State is at BYU on November 19. By the time the game is played, Dixie State will have changed its name to Utah Tech (the name change takes effect July 1). This will be the Trailblazers’ third season as a FCS school; it was a Division II program from 2006-19 (before that, it was a junior college). It went 1-10 last season, with the lone win over Division II Fort Lewis (Colo.). Yes, it’s an in-state school (the campuses are about 260 miles apart), but why is BYU playing the Trailblazers? Finally, Missouri State plays at Arkansas on September 17. Missouri State is coached by … Bobby Petrino. Missouri State’s winning record last season was the Bears’ first since 2009 and just their fifth since 1996, and Petrino definitely has them on the uptick. Petrino’s return to Fayetteville should be interesting, huh?