Sunday Superlatives: The best, worst and everything else in coaching from a wacky Week 9

On3 imageby:Jesse Simonton10/30/22

JesseReSimonton

Week 9 wasn’t quite the chaos Saturday many anticipated (or hoped for), as the nation’s Top 5 teams all rolled to double-digit wins. 

Still, there was plenty of wackiness, as no one saw Oklahoma State getting blanked 48-0 in Manhattan or Louisville forcing eight turnovers after halftime to stun No. 10 Wake Forest. 

So with plenty of takeaways to dive into, here’s a Week 9 recap of everything in coaching with today’s Sunday Superlatives.

SMARTEST CALL OF THE WEEK

Bret Bielema was 68-24 at Wisconsin, winning three Big Ten Championships and recording four 10+ win seasons. 

His five-year stint in Fayetteville proved disastrous (29-34 at Arkansas), but ‘Ole Bert didn’t forget how to coach, he simply needed to go on a little NFL sabbatical and relearn a thing or two. 

Although many scoffed when Illinois hired Bielema last offseason, most are singing a different tune today after the former Iowa defensive lineman has the Fighting Illini playing their best football in over two decades. 

Bielema has turned Illinois into the Big Ten’s boa constrictor, suffocating teams with a gritty run attack — one that’s notably more modernized with RPOs and other concepts compared to his days in Madison — and one of the nation’s best defenses. 

It ain’t flashy. And it’s a blueprint that’s succeeded in the league before. But sometimes, hiring a “retread coach” actually makes sense if they’re willing to tweak a thing or two.  

“I tell these guys all the time that I’ve been around some championship teams, and this team is that same caliber if not better,” Bielema said after Illinois won its sixth-straight game with a 26-9 victory at Nebraska.

“We’re an exceptional defense and we have playmakers on literally both sides of the ball and in the kicking game.”

The Fighting Illini are now 7-1 (4-1 in conference), and if not for some egregious officiating late in the loss to Indiana, would be sitting undefeated just like Michigan and Ohio State

They’ve already clinched their first winning season in 15 years, and they’re the heavy favorites to represent the West in Indianapolis. 

Bielema has done a fantastic job this season entrusting his coaches — particularly rising-star DC Ryan Walters, whose unit ranks No. 1 nationally in total defense — to do their jobs, and giving his top players — like workhorse tailback Chase Brown, who is averaging 151.1 yards per game — ample opportunities to succeed. 

Illinois’ success is a prime example of why so many Iowa fans are irate at Kirk Ferentz right now. If you have a defense that takes the life out of opponents, you can win a lot of games in the Big Ten if that formula also includes a functional, efficient offense. 

Iowa ranks No. 1 nationally in yards per play. Illinois is No. 2. 

The Hawkeyes are 4-4 because their offense is historically terrible. Illinois is going to go to the Big Ten title game because Bielema has fielded a unit that ranks middle of the pack in the conference. 

“When you get better and better, everyone wants to talk about where you’re going to end up. What we need to concentrate on is the journey, and to get to where we are today has been probably one of the most enjoyable journeys I’ve ever been on in my life,” Bielema said. 

That journey looks to have plenty more “enjoyable” stops upcoming, too, starting with a home game against Michigan State next weekend. 

Honorable Mention: Uh, how about Jim Mora and the Connecticut Huskies?

After upsetting fellow-Northeastern foe Boston College 13-3 on Saturday, the New York Times’ 2020 National Champions have won at least four games for the first time since 2012.

Jim Mora’s return to college football this fall was eye-rolled by almost everyone, myself included, but the former UCLA head coach has legitimately lifted up the moribund program in Year 1. 

After forcing five turnovers against the Golden Eagles, the Huskies have a real possibility to reach bowl eligibility — unthinkable just two months ago. 

Credit to Mora and his first-year staff for an unforeseeable storybook season in Storrs. 

COACHING CALAMITY OF THE WEEK

It was a no good, very bad day to be Mel Tucker on Saturday. 

Michigan State’s head coach was 2-0 against archival Michigan before his Spartans were slowly and methodically beaten by Jim Harbaugh’s Wolverines 29-7. 

The game — one in which MSU had just 250 total yards and Michigan had to settle for five field goals — was largely forgettable, but the final result, coupled with an ugly postgame scene casts further scrutiny on the Spartans’ $95 million man. 

Michigan State was amped all night, committing an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty on the game’s opening possession. That fervor didn’t go away after a 22-point loss either, with multiple Michigan State players allegedly jumping Michigan defensive back Ja’Den McBurrows in the tunnel.

Harbaugh called it “assault,” while Tucker said he “didn’t know” what happened. 

“I know it was a heated game. Things were heated. We’re trying to get our guys in the locker room. We’re going to have to figure out what happened,” Tucker said. 

That’d be a start. 

Tucker has lots to “figure out” right now.

Like how Michigan State, which won 11 games in 2021, is going to just make a bowl game this season? Like how to get a listless offense that had minus-1 yards in the second half until a late garbage time get going? Like why his team fulfilled the worst of “little brother” moniker by waiting until actual game was actually over to try and start a fight?

Honorable Mention: After allowing Iowa to score 33 points Saturday, Pat Fitzgerald’s Northwestern Wildcats remain winless in America (0-7) and undefeated in Europe (1-0) in the same season. I’m guessing that has to be some sort of record. 

THE REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES TROPHY

So much for good timing, right?

Last week, I praised the 2022 works of Mike Gundy at Oklahoma State and Shane Beamer at South Carolina, and both coaches saw their teams get embarrassed Saturday. 

The Gamecocks falling at home to a so-so Missouri team wasn’t so shocking considering their offensive limitations, but the Pokes suffering the worst loss of the Gundy era — some 18 seasons — on the road at Kansas State was eye-opening. 

Starting with South Carolina, the Gamecocks were a paper tiger as a Top 25 team, and even in my belief in Beamer’s overall outlook for his program, I offered my summation that their current reliance on special teams heroics and turnovers weren’t a sustainable strategy if their offense couldn’t find any consistency or explosiveness.  

Well, case in point against the Tigers. Saturday’s performance is how four-game winning streaks go to pasture. 

Missouri didn’t commit any crippling special teams mistakes. It had zero turnovers, too. The Tigers forced the Cocks to march the length of the field offensively — and they couldn’t. 

The Gamecocks averaged just 1.4 yards per rush and Spencer Rattler only threw for 170 yards with an interception on 30 attempts. They had two drives all game over 25 yards. Maybe next week is the week that USC remembers that Jaheim Bell is on its roster. 

It was a deflating loss for South Carolina, especially after earning its first Top 25 ranking since 2018.

Beamer didn’t sugarcoat the disappointment, saying, “It starts with me. I have to coach better. It’s disappointing because, look, I get the narrative, ‘Four wins in a row. Great win last week. Ranked for the first time in forever.  Understanding it’s easy to say South Carolina isn’t going to play with the same energy, physicality and fire we had been. Watch out!’ … But we looked like a team in all three phases that looked like a team that was on our heels.” 

He added, “I understand (fans’) frustrations. We flat-out laid an egg tonight. After every game, like I’ve always talked about, tonight was not good enough in any phase, starting with me. 

As for the Cowboys, Gundy’s team is absolutely beaten up, but they were straight bullied on the road in Manhattan on Saturday. 

The Pokes trailed 35-0 at halftime, as the Wildcats road backup quarterback Will Howard (four touchdowns, 300 total yards) and tailback Deuce Vaughn (158 rushing yards, two total touchdowns) to a romp. KSU had 350 yards by the second quarter and not only to stopped Oklahoma State’s offense but knocked quarterback Spencer Sanders out of the game in the second half. 

Following the most lopsided loss of his career, Gundy said, “You saw a team that wasn’t prepared.”

So now what for these two teams moving forward? 

South Carolina looks likely for an offseason change at offensive coordinator, while Oklahoma State no longer controls its destiny in the Big 12 and now needs to make sure it steadies itself before a date with Oklahoma in Bedlam in three weeks. 

THE WHO’S MUCH-MALIGNED NOW MEDAL OF THE WEEK?

Scott Satterfield faces mounting pressure at Louisville, so it wasn’t hard to ponder the future of the Cardinals’ program Saturday as they entered halftime trailing No. 10 Wake Forest 14-13. 

Only the next 30 minutes not only changed the outlook of Louisville’s season — but might’ve staved off any scuttle about Satterfield’s days with the Cardinals being numbered. 

3rd-quarter: Louisville 35, Wake Forest 0

That’s not a typo. 

The Cardinals blitzed the Demon Deceans in the second half, forcing an inexplicable eight turnovers — including multiple pick-sixes. They also finished the game with eight sacks.

It was stunning. 

For third time in his career (see: ACC Championship vs. Pitt, bowl game vs. Wisconsin, Wake Forest quarterback Sam Hartman had a bizarro-world performance where he couldn’t stop coughing up the football. He threw three picks and fumbled three times (more turnovers total than the team had all season entering the day) in the third quarter to turn a 1-point lead into a Louisville rout. 

“The third quarter was remarkable,” said Satterfield after Louisville went on to win 48-21, giving him his first Top 10 victory. 

“I’ve never seen anything like it, and I’ve been in this game a long time.”

Louisville’s defensive performance against Hartman was also a bit of comeuppance for Dave Clawson, who talked a lot of pregame smack about how his quarterback was the best in the ACC this season. 

The Cardinals have now won three straight, and although the schedule is still tough down the stretch, Saturday could go a long way in determining whether Satterfield is still on the sidelines in 2023. 

A couple of embattled first-year head coaches also picked up nice wins this weekend, starting with Marcus Freeman and Notre Dame. The Irish finally got their running game going 246 yards), trouncing a solid Syracuse team 41-24 in the Dome. 

Freeman’s defense set the tone from the jump, snatching a pick-six on the game’s opening play. 

“It was a huge momentum builder for everybody,” Freeman said. 

Now we’ll see how long it lasts. 

Notre Dame has won five of six since losing at home to Marshall. But Saturday’s showing against a good ‘Cuse team was easily its most complete performance of the season. Can the Irish find another gear and give No. 5 Clemson a scare at home next weekend?

We’ll see. 

Finally, three weeks after suffering the worst loss in school history in Red River, Oklahoma as won back-to-back games after dominating Iowa State. 

Brent Venables’ defense had its best performance in conference play all year, grabbing three interceptions and recording eight tackles for loss. 

Iowa State mucked up the game like it usually does, so the Sooners struggled offensively — especially along the OL, which couldn’t block ISU for much of the afternoon. With touchdowns coming at a premium, Venables dialed up a nifty fake field goal for a short touchdown that helped spark OU’s scoring. 

THE KIRK FERENTZ BRAVERY AWARD

Typically, this section is to reward a coach who fearlessly decides to punt when every analytic says not to, but what about a gutsy decision to not punt when the whole world thinks you should?

Enter Lane Kiffin. 

Trailing Texas A&M 14-7 midway through the second quarter, Kiffin dialed up a fake punt from Ole Miss’ own 16-yard line. 

On 4th-and-4, former Auburn tight end turned Rebels transfer defensive tackle J.J. Pegues took the direct snap and rumbled for a first down. The Rebels would go on to hit a field goal to end the drive, igniting a 17-0 run on the scoreboard. 

THE TAKIN’ CARE OF BUSINESS CUP

I wrote about Ohio State being the scariest team in the country Saturday after flipping a switch and blasting Penn State with a barrage of 4th-quarter haymakers in a 44-31 win

Similarly, Georgia played with its food for more than a quarter, only it was after the Bulldogs had blitzed the Florida Gators to a 28-3 halftime lead. A penalty on 4th down, a couple bad turnovers and a major bust in the secondary turned a rout in a one-score game in the third quarter, but Kirby Smart’s squad steadied themselves and pulled away for a 42-20 win. 

“I don’t enjoy losing the momentum in the game,” Smart said. “I enjoy the fact that we never blinked. There are two things (that happen) when adversity hits: You fracture or you connect. Our team connected.”

Next up for the Bulldogs? A home date with No. 3 Tennessee, which completely curb-stomped the Kentucky Wildcats in Neyland Stadium on Saturday night. Hendon Hooker (245 yards, four total touchdowns) and Jalin Hyatt (5 catches for 138 yards, two touchdowns) did Hendon Hooker and Jalin Hyatt things, and while many are comparing Tennessee’s rise to 2019 LSU, what impressed me most Saturday was the Vols’ defensive effort. 

They swarmed the ‘Cats. They picked off Will Levis three times. They dominated the line of scrimmage (eight tackles for loss, four sacks), and allowed just 205 total yards. 

It was a total bossing. 

Apologies to Alabama, now we get a clash of the 2022 SEC titans next Saturday in Athens — with the winner likely locking up a spot in the College Football Playoff. 

Elsewhere, TCU survived some real punches from West Virginia to remain undefeated, adding a late touchdown in the final seconds to secure not only the win but a cover (and a horrible bad beat for Mountaineers’ backers, including yours truly).

The Horned Frogs gashed WVU with explosive plays, including three touchdowns over 50 yards in the first half alone. Quarterback Max Duggan continues to post monster numbers, throwing for 341 yards on 16 completions — good for 21 yards per pass.

After Saturday, only two teams in the country average at least 300 yards passing and 200 yards rushing per game this season: TCU and Georgia. 

Finally, Oregon avoided a letdown loss after its big win over UCLA, going to Cal and handling its business. It wasn’t the prettiest performance (the Ducks started slowly and Bo Nix tossed a couple bad interceptions), but they found their footing and still scored six touchdowns — all from Nix either passing or rushing — against a pretty good Pac-12 defense. 

“It’s nice when you don’t perform your best, you miss a few opportunities in the red zone, and you still do what we did on offense,” Nix said. 

“It’s a good thing, but we still have to get back to work and be hungry.”

THE THANK YOU FOR YOUR HONESTY HONOR

I never double-dip in this column, but when life gives you a Lane, take the Kiffin. 

Ole Miss’ coach never misses the chance to poke the bear and troll his opponents — be it coaches, fans or whoever. 

Earlier in the week, Kiffin threw some shade at Texas A&M head coach Jimbo Fisher, but Kiffin saved his saltiest wisecracks after the Rebels held on to beat the Aggies 31-28. 

“390 yards against a bunch of 5-stars. That’s pretty good,” Kiffin quipped after Ole Miss ran it down Texas A&M’s throat, with freshman tailback Quinshon Judkins going for 205 on 34 carries.

And that wasn’t even the punchline. 

Kiffin held his best material for Cole Cubelic’s follow-up question, who asked him what his Halloween costume would be this year:

I don’t know,” Kiffin said. “Maybe Jimbo’s got a Joker costume for me.”

I mean, damn. 

Kiffin has Ole Miss flying high, entering the bye week 8-1 before a home game with Alabama. Meanwhile, Fisher, who called Kiffin a “clown act” during all the NIL sparring this spring took another L in 2022. 

“Someone attacks you personally, calls you and your buddy Coach (Nick) Saban both clowns, you take that personal. So, glad we won,” Kiffin added postgame

“I guess I can be a clown for Halloween then.” 

THE GREAT ESCAPE CROWN

I’ve piled on Miami and first-year head coach Mario Cristobal enough this season, but I’d be remiss not to note that the Hurricanes — albeit with a backup quarterback — managed fewer than 275 yards in a four-overtime win at Virginia on Saturday. For comparison’s sake, Miami’s punter had more yards kicking (308). 

If not for safety Tyrique Stevenson (who had a pair of key pass breakups, including a game-saving play in 3OT) and end Leonard Taylor (four tackles for loss and 1.5 sacks), the Canes might’ve been looking at a fifth loss in six games. 

Cristobal continued his propensity for loving field goals, as the Hurricanes hit four field goals just to survive in Charlottesville.  

Without starter Tyler Van Dyke, Miami was overly conservative all afternoon — even late in the game with a chance to win outright in regulation. 

The Hurricanes had 1st-and-goal at Virginia’s 3 with around 1:30 remaining, but Cristobal opted to settle for three very safe runs — none of which had a chance to reach the end zone. The worst call might’ve been on 3rd down, as the ‘Canes had like half an hour (ok, probably 10 minutes in real time following a lengthy review and then UM timeout) to come up with a play-call to score a game-winning touchdown. Instead, Cristobal settled for a halfback dive. 

Andres Borregales then nearly missed the tying kick from 20 yards out, only for it to squeak inside the uprights. 

The Canes won, which is more than they can say about recent weeks, but it was hardly an inspiring performance with the likes of Florida State, Clemson and Pitt upcoming on the schedule.