The best zingers from Lane Kiffin at SEC Media Days: Ole Miss' head coach avoided any real talk about the Rebels' 2023 season and that's ok

NASHVILLE — As if it were an ode to his good friend the late, great Mike Leach, Lane Kiffin made sure to mostly talk about anything other than Ole Miss’ 2023 football team Thursday. 

On the final day of SEC Media Days, the Rebels’ entertaining head coach hypnotically charmed reporters with his dry wit and strong thoughts on NIL and the transfer portal. 

Kiffin avoided any substantial talk about Ole Miss’ quarterback battle between Jaxson Dart and Spencer Sanders. He didn’t have much to say about the Rebels losing five of seven to end the 2022 season, or what to really expect from a new-look defense with coordinator Pete Goulding coming over from Alabama. 

He said nothing — at least in two big separate media sessions I observed — about his flirtations with Auburn a year ago and the decision to stay at Ole Miss. 

Instead, Kiffin deftly worked his way through various obligations by dishing out zingers and garnering all sorts of smiles and laughs. 

And you know what?

That’s ok. 

Media days are inherently silly — especially SEC Media Days. We don’t actually learn that much. Steve Spurrier dubbed it ‘Talking Season for a reason. 

So the more entertaining the better. Alabama finally provided some juice Wednesday with Nick Saban & Co., complaining about a lack of respect. 

Then JC Latham straight up said the Crimson Tide would go undefeated and win the national championship. 

Give me more of that, please. 

Kiffin didn’t make any predictions — other than perhaps his doomsday thoughts on the future of college football operating in the current NIL landscape — but the man had jokes. 

My favorite zingers from Lane Kiffin at SEC Media Days

The very first question to Kiffin during his appearance in the main ballroom was a question about the NCAA’s recent investigation report on Tennessee. Kiffin obviously had a strong connection with the Vols dating back to his lone season as head coach in 2009, but he also has experience dealing with the fallout of NCAA sanctions as the head coach at USC. 

“Well, that didn’t take long,” Kiffin said, causing laughter throughout the room. 

“I got a lot of thoughts on that case and the case at USC and the case at Tennessee and the penalties and all that. But I’m not really going to get into that. We’re here to talk about the Ole Miss team. You know, happy for Coach (Josh) Heupel. I read where he was ecstatic about the penalties and the $8 million fine. So that kind of probably tells you about how severe the penalties are in their eyes. I’m happy for them that they don’t have to go through what we went through (at USC). So good for them.

Later, Kiffin was asked to rank the best boosters in the SEC. He again lit up the room with chuckles, saying, “I am not about to start putting rankings out on boosters from top to bottom in the conference.

“God, I want to so bad, though. The Commissioner said, remember, we’ve grown a lot and you don’t have to respond to every question to show everybody you have the answer. So I’m going to do that in this situation.

The two most viral moments from Kiffin’s media sessions Thursday were when he responded to a “strange” question from a TV reporter claiming that people always tell him he looks like Lane Kiffin. 

I get told I look like @Lane_Kiffin all the time. Today, I asked him if he sees it. By far my favorite moment of my career. Here is his response: pic.twitter.com/LwRjszcWvj

— Nick Brooks (@NickBrooksTV_) July 20, 2023

“Do you get called Daniel Tosh too? I get that actually, too,” Kiffin said. 

“I’ll be walking somewhere and somebody will be like, ‘Are you Lane Kiffin?’ And I’ll be like, ‘No, I hate that dude, he sucks.’ It’s really cool because the conversation’s over and you can keep moving. It’s run down to my daughter, she does it now. She’s like, ‘I don’t like all the attention because of the last name,’ so people will be like, ‘Are you Landry Kiffin?’ She’s like, ‘Nope, I’ve heard bad things about her,’ so she’s kind of learned that trick too.”

Kiffin and the reporter then engaged in a little back and forth with Ole Miss’ head coach delivering an all-time zinger, saying, “What’s your mom’s name? I’ve got to ask my dad some questions now.”

“I would just embrace it,” Kiffin added. 

“You can probably get free drinks at places and stuff, just depending on what state in the SEC you go to. … I’m sorry that you get paired in with me. But I would embrace it. I would just go with it.”

Lastly, in defending his mentor Nick Saban and the recent criticism from some that Alabama’s program is suddenly slipping after missing out on the College Football Playoff last season, Kiffin joked, “That’s why we have (Paul) Finebaum, so he can motivate him every other year and say, ‘Oh, his dynasty is over, and this is the end of Saban.’

“And, we’re like, ‘Hey, thanks a lot for pissing him off.’ And Paul is always wrong on this. He did it just again the other day. He doesn’t make the playoff. He’s not any good as a head coach. Thanks, Paul.”

No, thank you, Lane.