Given this past weekends scores ...
Is there a running thread for funny jokes or memes?
- Thread starter Got GSPs
- Start date
Had to pee. Checked my phone and this had been texted to me. Thought I would share (after completion of my urinary obligations and washing my hands).
When a group of tourists visited a crocodile farm, the owner of the place launched a daring proposal;
-Whoever dares to jump, swim to shore and survive, I will give 1 million dollars.
Nobody dared to move, suddenly a man jumped into the water and desperately swam towards the shore while he was chased by all the crocodiles.
With great luck he arrived, taking the admiration of everyone in the place, then the owner announced;
-We have a brave winner.
After collecting their reward, the couple returned to the hotel, upon arrival, the manager told him; he was very brave to jump, then the man said;
-I didn't jump, someone pushed me!
His wife smiled ...
Moral: "Behind every successful man, there is a woman who pushes him."
Credit goes to the owner.
-Whoever dares to jump, swim to shore and survive, I will give 1 million dollars.
Nobody dared to move, suddenly a man jumped into the water and desperately swam towards the shore while he was chased by all the crocodiles.
With great luck he arrived, taking the admiration of everyone in the place, then the owner announced;
-We have a brave winner.
After collecting their reward, the couple returned to the hotel, upon arrival, the manager told him; he was very brave to jump, then the man said;
-I didn't jump, someone pushed me!
His wife smiled ...
Moral: "Behind every successful man, there is a woman who pushes him."
Credit goes to the owner.
Far Side is the best. Took me a few seconds to get that one, though.
We now know why the chicken crossed the road. For the exorcise.
5-4, bottom of the 5th, 1 out, nobody on.
It’s not about political affiliation, I enjoyed Slick Willy’s term as The Commander in Chief, the post is about talent.
A newlywed couple jumps right from the ceremony into the limousine that’s going to take them to the cruise ship that’s going to take them on an around the world cruise.
The husband said to this wife “Honey, in all the running around I forgot to get condoms. We don’t want to start a family right away. After all, it’s our honeymoon. She agrees and he asks the limo driver to stop at the first drug store they pass. As the husband gets out of the car the wife said “Honey, while you’re in there can you get me some dramamine…it helps with my seasickness.
He goes into the drugstore and says to the guy “I need the biggest box of condoms in the store and a bottle of dramamine.” The guy said “Do you mind if I ask you a question?” The husband said “No.” The guy asked, “Why do you do it so much if it makes you nauseous?
The husband said to this wife “Honey, in all the running around I forgot to get condoms. We don’t want to start a family right away. After all, it’s our honeymoon. She agrees and he asks the limo driver to stop at the first drug store they pass. As the husband gets out of the car the wife said “Honey, while you’re in there can you get me some dramamine…it helps with my seasickness.
He goes into the drugstore and says to the guy “I need the biggest box of condoms in the store and a bottle of dramamine.” The guy said “Do you mind if I ask you a question?” The husband said “No.” The guy asked, “Why do you do it so much if it makes you nauseous?
I’ve been married 100 years and EVERYDAY is like this. For example, after her wanting to go to Hawaii bucket list style for years, we put it on the schedule end of June. Well after watching videos on what to do, where to stay, dialing schit in, ready to buy/reserve just this am, “I don’t want to go to Hawaii anymore, it looks stupid”. Me: “so I can go to Montreal F1 in the new car this June?” Her: “no, you have to take me on another vaca.”
wut?
wut?
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