OT: Budgeting Tips

[MSUDC11-2.0]

I’m a CPA and not financially stupid, but money is still tight for us just like I’m sure it is for most. Inflation has absolutely sucked the last few years, and we had a baby in 2022 who is a great kid but an expensive kid. Lol. I am by no means in poverty, household income is just under $150K and we just bought a $300K house, but the bank account sure feels uncomfortable more often than not.

I got a pretty significant pay raise in 2023 (over $20,000 per year) and truthfully don’t feel like we’ve really felt it much. I purposely withhold as much as possible from taxes, put money in savings and retirement as much as possibly, aggressively pay off debt (only have mortgage and student loans, no car payment and we pay off credit card monthly), we also have some non-negotiable expenses with tithing and daycare that I know some may not have but it’s essential for our life. Ultimately I’ve always felt like we try to handle our business the right way but our margins are always really tight every month. Savings goes up and down which I figure is normal just because major life stuff happens but I’ve never felt like I’m saving as much as I’d really like to.

I dunno, I guess I’m just curious on how everyone else tries to handle their business and any advice you may have. How do you try to stay disciplined on discretionary spending? How much wiggle room do you like to allow yourself for fun? If you have a joint account with your spouse, how do you try to make sure you’re both on the same page with things?

 

[BoDawg.sixpack]

My advice: Beans and Rice, rice and beans. You don't see the inside of a restaurant unless you're working there. Vacation is a trip to the local city park. Buy a 40 dollar used Android phone on Ebay. Garage sale. Drive a $1000 vehicle. Cancel the gym membership and jog through your hood or HIIT videos on YouTube. Rabbit ears...cancel NetFlix and Hulu. And last but not least, when she revolts have a good marriage counselor on standby.

 

[MSUDC11-2.0]

My advice: Beans and Rice, rice and beans. You don't see the inside of a restaurant unless you're working there. Vacation is a trip to the local city park. Buy a 40 dollar used Android phone on Ebay. Garage sale. Drive a $1000 vehicle. Cancel the gym membership and jog through your hood or HIIT videos on YouTube. Rabbit ears...cancel NetFlix and Hulu. And last but not least, when she revolts have a good marriage counselor on standby.

While I do agree with Dave Ramsey on a number of things, he’s definitely hardcore and some of his core principles are far easier said than done.

 

[Maroon13]

Good luck.

There was a thread a few months back in which it was the opinion of most here that $150k per year is a lot of money.

But I agree ..... It isn't.

 

[dorndawg]

Sounds like you've just moved, I know I always have unanticipated costs associated with that that made me feel short-term strapped.

As far as spending with spouse, you ain't gotta be on the same page but you've gotta be in the same chapter. I know tons of folks don't use joint accounts for a variety of reasons; I have no idea how folks make that work. I'd never keep it straight. Luckily, how other households manage their money also is none of my business.

 

[retire the banner]

I’m a CPA and not financially stupid, but money is still tight for us just like I’m sure it is for most. Inflation has absolutely sucked the last few years, and we had a baby in 2022 who is a great kid but an expensive kid. Lol. I am by no means in poverty, household income is just under $150K and we just bought a $300K house, but the bank account sure feels uncomfortable more often than not.

I got a pretty significant pay raise in 2023 (over $20,000 per year) and truthfully don’t feel like we’ve really felt it much. I purposely withhold as much as possible from taxes, put money in savings and retirement as much as possibly, aggressively pay off debt (only have mortgage and student loans, no car payment and we pay off credit card monthly), we also have some non-negotiable expenses with tithing and daycare that I know some may not have but it’s essential for our life. Ultimately I’ve always felt like we try to handle our business the right way but our margins are always really tight every month. Savings goes up and down which I figure is normal just because major life stuff happens but I’ve never felt like I’m saving as much as I’d really like to.

I dunno, I guess I’m just curious on how everyone else tries to handle their business and any advice you may have. How do you try to stay disciplined on discretionary spending? How much wiggle room do you like to allow yourself for fun? If you have a joint account with your spouse, how do you try to make sure you’re both on the same page with things?

I don’t have much advice, but inflation is so insane. It’s crazy to think that a 6 figure household income is what’s needed just to get by nowadays. 15 years ago 6 figures was luxury.

 

[patdog]

Most important is to realize that the $250,000 house in the middle class subdivision is a lot better deal for you than the $500,000 house in Annandale. And you're just fine driving a Toyota or Mazda rather than a BMW. Limit eating out and don't get alcoholic drinks out. Review your withholdings to be sure you're not being over-withheld. Like another guy says $150,000 for a married couple with a child is a decent living, but you can't afford to be extravagant on things.

Also, no expensive vacations to the top trendy destinations.

 

[aTotal360]

Disassociate all your CCs from Amazon.

 

[dorndawg]

Good luck.

There was a thread a few months back in which it was the opinion of most here that $150k per year is a lot of money.

But I agree ..... It isn't.

Unsure where the OP lives, but 150k household income is (or at least very recently was) in the 95% percentile in Mississippi

https://statisticalatlas.com/state/Mississippi/Household-Income

 

[ronpolk]

Sounds to me that you need to figure out if you want a comfortable bank account or you want to pay down debt and fully fund retirement.

From the sounds of things you can not be as aggressive on paying down debt and maybe put less in retirement. But I’m not sure if that is the right thing to do. I personally take the approach that you do. My wife and I fully fund our 401-k, we pay down our mortgage faster than we are required to. I keep a comfortable amount in a savings account and enough to cover expenses between paychecks in my checking. But I don’t worry about keeping an excessive amount of extra money in a bank account. And I don’t worry about that because I have plenty of room to pull back on retirement and extra mortgage payments if I need to.

 

[MSUDC11-2.0]

Sounds like you've just moved, I know I always have unanticipated costs associated with that that made me feel short-term strapped.

As far as spending with spouse, you ain't gotta be on the same page but you've gotta be in the same chapter. I know tons of folks don't use joint accounts for a variety of reasons; I have no idea how folks make that work. I'd never keep it straight. Luckily, how other households manage their money also is none of my business.

Yes we moved in May. And then had **** absolutely hit the fan immediately afterward. You spend the money on buying the new house, then Movers cost $2K, then we get into the new house and realize that basically the whole house needs to be repainted (was not evident until the previous owners took everything off the walls and emptied cabinets), so that was another $4K, then we got hit with a major medical emergency in early June that cost after $2,500 after insurance. And it was not one that you just get over quick, it was one that took an emotional toll too, I’ll leave it at that. Then you get in the new house and obviously the wife wants to slowly furnish and decorate, which in a vacuum isn’t bad but it felt like death by a thousand cuts.

Candidly, three months ago I was very content with where we were financially and now I feel like I’m trying not to drown. Also don’t want to be too hard on the wife right now as some of the things in our personal life I referenced earlier have been quite challenging.

I know it’s not always gonna be like this but man when you’re in the middle of it, it’s rough.

 

[Podgy]

I was in was in a similar situation 15 years ago but I'm much better off financially now. I'm not trying to dismiss your legitimate concerns, but I'd rather be 15 years younger. Inflation really is an issue and it takes hard work to pull in $150 grand and it likely doesn't feel good seeing it disappear without living extravagantly. Plus, it's a challenge just becoming a CPA. Avoid eating out, buy used cars (I didn't buy a new car until a couple of years ago. On the hand my wife...), go to outdoor festivals within easy driving distance, limit vacations in expensive places, eat leftovers, buy clothes at discount outlets, don't spend too much on home TV apps...Do free stuff with the family on weekends. If you drink, go out for a beer or glass of wine and stop there. Eat at home and go out for dessert if you need a date. YouTube has Good cooks and Good chefs who can help you turn stuff on sale from local supermarkets into tasty meals and meals as good as you get at a restaurant. Good luck.

 

[CEO2044]

Unsure where the OP lives, but 150k household income is (or at least very recently was) in the 95% percentile in Mississippi

View attachment 614440

https://statisticalatlas.com/state/Mississippi/Household-Income

And it feels very middle class right now, if not lower middle class.

My advice to OP is don’t pay attention to everyone going on multiple vacations and “living extravagantly” right now. I live very much like you say and I know we make a pretty decent combined income. Stick to what you are doing- tbh, with a kid that young, it’s the time to take advantage of not needing to go on big vacations and buy a ton of toys. They don’t need much right now.

With that being said, you can go nuts being too strict on budget. I have to remind myself constantly to live in the present and not the future. Easier said than done. Enjoy the simple things.

 

[dorndawg]

Yes we moved in May. And then had **** absolutely hit the fan immediately afterward. You spend the money on buying the new house, then Movers cost $2K, then we get into the new house and realize that basically the whole house needs to be repainted (was not evident until the previous owners took everything off the walls and emptied cabinets), so that was another $4K, then we got hit with a major medical emergency in early June that cost after $2,500 after insurance. And it was not one that you just get over quick, it was one that took an emotional toll too, I’ll leave it at that. Then you get in the new house and obviously the wife wants to slowly furnish and decorate, which in a vacuum isn’t bad but it felt like death by a thousand cuts.

Candidly, three months ago I was very content with where we were financially and now I feel like I’m trying not to drown. Also don’t want to be too hard on the wife right now as some of the things in our personal life I referenced earlier have been quite challenging.

I know it’s not always gonna be like this but man when you’re in the middle of it, it’s rough.

Shitt dawgg, that IS a lot at one time. Not that they aren't painful at the time, but these are speedbumps. The Dave Ramsay acolytes are loathe to hear it, but sometimes a person is forced to do a little deficit spending. Paying a little interest for a month or two on a credit card isn't the end of the world; you're a CPA so you know what happens if you let it become a habit.

 

[Boom Boom]

I’m a CPA and not financially stupid, but money is still tight for us just like I’m sure it is for most. Inflation has absolutely sucked the last few years, and we had a baby in 2022 who is a great kid but an expensive kid. Lol. I am by no means in poverty, household income is just under $150K and we just bought a $300K house, but the bank account sure feels uncomfortable more often than not.

I got a pretty significant pay raise in 2023 (over $20,000 per year) and truthfully don’t feel like we’ve really felt it much. I purposely withhold as much as possible from taxes, put money in savings and retirement as much as possibly, aggressively pay off debt (only have mortgage and student loans, no car payment and we pay off credit card monthly), we also have some non-negotiable expenses with tithing and daycare that I know some may not have but it’s essential for our life. Ultimately I’ve always felt like we try to handle our business the right way but our margins are always really tight every month. Savings goes up and down which I figure is normal just because major life stuff happens but I’ve never felt like I’m saving as much as I’d really like to.

I dunno, I guess I’m just curious on how everyone else tries to handle their business and any advice you may have. How do you try to stay disciplined on discretionary spending? How much wiggle room do you like to allow yourself for fun? If you have a joint account with your spouse, how do you try to make sure you’re both on the same page with things?

Budget out your life. You'll need to do it for a few scenarios (work till 65 without major impacts, early death, something inbetween). Estimate your yearly income and expenses in those scenarios. Assume low (1% above inflation) and high (8% above inflation) returns for savings.

This will give you an idea of how much savings you'll need, not just now but over your life. It's ok to save less early on if you have a plan to make it up later. It's OK to spend more discretionary income....if you accept that you'll be working longer and will need to carry more insurance. Everything is a tradeoff, you just need to see what it is and make your choices.

As to budgeting, cars, eating out, and clothing seems to be the heavy hitters that people don't need but feel they need to keep up with peers on. Food (other than eating out) can be massively budgeted down, even without sacrificing quality, but it takes effort.

If that's a bit too much, I'd say if you are under 35 and maxing out 401K and Roth, and expect to work to 65....you're fine. Just don't let your expenses unnecessarily rise over time just because they can. No Lululemon complete wardrobes, dozens of Stanley cups, escalade, etc.

 

[MSUDC11-2.0]

Shitt dawgg, that IS a lot at one time. Not that they aren't painful at the time, but these are speedbumps. The Dave Ramsay acolytes are loathe to hear it, but sometimes a person is forced to do a little deficit spending. Paying a little interest for a month or two on a credit card isn't the end of the world; you're a CPA so you know what happens if you let it become a habit.

Didn’t even mention that we BOTH changed jobs this summer. One was expected since about January, the other was very abrupt. It’s been a hell of a summer, man.

 

[Boom Boom]

And it feels very middle class right now, if not lower middle class.

Yeah, because these kids are spending $25k a year on housing expenses that those of us who bought 15 years ago didn't have to spend!

$150k a year buys a lot less when you add a half million dollar hole to start out from.

 

[hdogg]

It's really really difficult, and any advice is easier said than done. And travel/concerts/sports costs are all insane.
I had a really hard time adjusting to expenses brought on by wife & kids (still do sort of). I was able to put more into the sp500 back when I made much less (but was single).
So here's what I'll say :
At one point, instead of saying "we should spend X on groceries/Target monthly" , we just looked back at the previous 3 months and took the average and said "we DO spend X on groceries/target" and that became the budget. And it hurt putting it on the spreadsheet, but it was just reality.
Then figure out what your "nice to have" items are. For me, bourbon is a "must have" but it doesn't have to be Woodford on a daily basis.
Going out to eat is a "nice to have" but figure out the max # times per week you can do that and stick to it as best you can.
And we typically don't spend too much on stupid holidays like valentines/mothers/fathers day. That adds up...

And don't be afraid to "let loose" 1 out of every 3 months. As in, reward yourself for having a good 2 months of "behaving", but don't spend all that savings at 1 time These number are very approximate of course, but you get the idea.

I'm 51 and decided to figure out my bare-minimum expenses of retirement, and figured that propertytax + healthcare + house/car/insurance + tv/phone/internet = about $40k+ per year, before eating or drinking. So budgeting is a great skill to have and will be necessary even in retirement. But as I said, much easier said than done.

 

[TaleofTwoDogs]

Not sure if you are just venting or asking for financial advice. As a CPA the latter is probably not necessary. Life's road has its ups and downs and right now you are hitting a few potholes. You need an attitude adjustment, because at $150K you have it better than most but you need to convince yourself of that fact. I think you are trying too hard to follow the Ramsey model. My wife and I have had a joint account for 45 years without problems because we are on the same page and have that little thing called trust. Just use common sense on purchases and refrain from extravagant buys and unless your kid has medical bills, he doesn't need to be expensive. Create a budget and stay within its framework but be willing to be flexible.

 

[DesotoCountyDawg]

My advice. Don’t farm. It’s not fun right now.

 

[HomeBoyDawg]

I’m a CPA and not financially stupid, but money is still tight for us just like I’m sure it is for most. Inflation has absolutely sucked the last few years, and we had a baby in 2022 who is a great kid but an expensive kid. Lol. I am by no means in poverty, household income is just under $150K and we just bought a $300K house, but the bank account sure feels uncomfortable more often than not.

I got a pretty significant pay raise in 2023 (over $20,000 per year) and truthfully don’t feel like we’ve really felt it much. I purposely withhold as much as possible from taxes, put money in savings and retirement as much as possibly, aggressively pay off debt (only have mortgage and student loans, no car payment and we pay off credit card monthly), we also have some non-negotiable expenses with tithing and daycare that I know some may not have but it’s essential for our life. Ultimately I’ve always felt like we try to handle our business the right way but our margins are always really tight every month. Savings goes up and down which I figure is normal just because major life stuff happens but I’ve never felt like I’m saving as much as I’d really like to.

I dunno, I guess I’m just curious on how everyone else tries to handle their business and any advice you may have. How do you try to stay disciplined on discretionary spending? How much wiggle room do you like to allow yourself for fun? If you have a joint account with your spouse, how do you try to make sure you’re both on the same page with things?

You're already doing the most important thing (see red type; Malachi 3:10). I was able to retire last year at 61. A few other things that worked for me:

• 5% other giving
• 10% to retirement account (I know they say more but this worked well for me--in later years I was able to increase to the max allowed for deduction)
• $20K - $40K emergency fund
• 15-year mortgage and no other debt
• Pay cash for good used cars (think Honda, Toyota, etc.) and drive them a while. My 3 kids drove older model Civics. For the wife and I, we've had good experience with Honda certified used cars.
• Payoff credit card each month (which you're doing)
• $50/month to savings for each child for college (which was not nearly enough but we managed to send 3 kids)
• Take reasonable vacations. You can go to the beach, national parks, and Disney and even take cruises and go to all-inclusive resorts for reasonable costs if you do your homework.
• Go out to eat once or twice a week at places with reasonable prices.

I probably don't have a lot of good advice concerning a joint account. Most of our marriage, I was the primary breadwinner with my wife working parttime and able to have her own account and spending her money as she liked.

Oh, my opinion is that $150K per year is a lot of money and a $300K house is reasonable for that income so great job there.

Last thing--learn the secret of living a life of contentment (Philippians 4:12-13).

 

[MSUDC11-2.0]

Not sure if you are just venting or asking for financial advice. As a CPA the latter is probably not necessary. Life's road has its ups and downs and right now you are hitting a few potholes. You need an attitude adjustment, because at $150K you have it better than most but you need to convince yourself of that fact. I think you are trying too hard to follow the Ramsey model. My wife and I have had a joint account for 45 years without problems because we are on the same page and have that little thing called trust. Just use common sense on purchases and refrain from extravagant buys and unless your kid has medical bills, he doesn't need to be expensive. Create a budget and stay within its framework but be willing to be flexible.

A little bit of both venting and seeking advice. I know one school of thought with budgeting but am open minded and always curious how other people handle things.

Also I try to not feel entitled about being a CPA in terms of it meaning I necessarily know a lot about money. I passed a hard test, doesn’t mean I got it all figured out. Also accounting/income tax and personal finance are often not one in the same.

 

[horshack.sixpack]

I’m a CPA and not financially stupid, but money is still tight for us just like I’m sure it is for most. Inflation has absolutely sucked the last few years, and we had a baby in 2022 who is a great kid but an expensive kid. Lol. I am by no means in poverty, household income is just under $150K and we just bought a $300K house, but the bank account sure feels uncomfortable more often than not.

I got a pretty significant pay raise in 2023 (over $20,000 per year) and truthfully don’t feel like we’ve really felt it much. I purposely withhold as much as possible from taxes, put money in savings and retirement as much as possibly, aggressively pay off debt (only have mortgage and student loans, no car payment and we pay off credit card monthly), we also have some non-negotiable expenses with tithing and daycare that I know some may not have but it’s essential for our life. Ultimately I’ve always felt like we try to handle our business the right way but our margins are always really tight every month. Savings goes up and down which I figure is normal just because major life stuff happens but I’ve never felt like I’m saving as much as I’d really like to.

I dunno, I guess I’m just curious on how everyone else tries to handle their business and any advice you may have. How do you try to stay disciplined on discretionary spending? How much wiggle room do you like to allow yourself for fun? If you have a joint account with your spouse, how do you try to make sure you’re both on the same page with things?

I subscribe to the Jim Valvano advice for surviving the birth through college years with kids: "Survive and advance". Seriously, you will look back and not really understand how you made it through all of the expenses that life throws at you, but there you will be, in fact, surviving.

I went for years unable to establish the liquidity that I would have liked to have just to feel like I had enough cushion. You have savings, that's better than many. You have a plan and pay attention to finances and that's huge. The biggest issue that I see with people who struggle is an unwillingness to put it all down on paper and be honest about what they can afford (head in the sand type activity). Sometimes that just sucks to do, but it beats living however you want to and just hoping it works out.

To some of your questions: Discretionary spending when I was in your life stage meant most meals at home and everybody ordered water if we ate out. I've always tried to strike a balance between saving and having some fun in life while I'm able. I suspect that "balance" varies based on the individuals involved. Lucky for me my wife just refuses to spend money. I have to berate her to get her to buy anything for herself. I will say that because she is not materialistic at all, it has kept a lot of pressure off of me that some of my friends have from their wives who want to have everything they see others having. We have always had a joint account and she has absolutely no idea how much money we have anywhere, doesn't know how to check, short of walking into a branch and doesn't care...

 

[Irondawg]

I think you are mostly on the right track. The thing is you probably feel like you are living month to month but that because you are doing a lot of thing right on the front end that pay off down the road.

Lots of great tips in here that add up - like water when eating out and not grabbing $7 beer with dinner. Controlling food cost is my number one issue now as we eat out more than we should.

Also make sure you take advantage of reward credit cards. We do Bonvoy most things with Amazon card for those purchases as a backup card. Makes vacations much more affordable with rooms either paid for or at much reduced rates.

 

[johnson86-1]

I’m a CPA and not financially stupid, but money is still tight for us just like I’m sure it is for most. Inflation has absolutely sucked the last few years, and we had a baby in 2022 who is a great kid but an expensive kid. Lol. I am by no means in poverty, household income is just under $150K and we just bought a $300K house, but the bank account sure feels uncomfortable more often than not.

I got a pretty significant pay raise in 2023 (over $20,000 per year) and truthfully don’t feel like we’ve really felt it much. I purposely withhold as much as possible from taxes, put money in savings and retirement as much as possibly, aggressively pay off debt (only have mortgage and student loans, no car payment and we pay off credit card monthly), we also have some non-negotiable expenses with tithing and daycare that I know some may not have but it’s essential for our life. Ultimately I’ve always felt like we try to handle our business the right way but our margins are always really tight every month. Savings goes up and down which I figure is normal just because major life stuff happens but I’ve never felt like I’m saving as much as I’d really like to.

I dunno, I guess I’m just curious on how everyone else tries to handle their business and any advice you may have. How do you try to stay disciplined on discretionary spending? How much wiggle room do you like to allow yourself for fun? If you have a joint account with your spouse, how do you try to make sure you’re both on the same page with things?

Can't help with a lot of your stuff, but two things that are simple and can actually move the needle on big expenses:

1) Develop a love for cooking. Eating out is the easiest thing to blow a meaningful amount of money on. We have been ok as far as avoiding eating out because or my wife, but we were relatively late to the game of treating cooking as an activity. We can go get groceries for what feels like a pretty upscale dinner and it be under $20. This is also a lot healthier and the practice will make it easier to throw together cheap stuff on a random night too.

2) Take pride in frugality on cars. High mileage cars are really reliable now. The mileage on our cars has gone up even as our ability to spend money on cars has gone up. If you are truly a car person and get enjoyment out of a nice car, this probably isn't the best advice, but I am convinced most people don't really enjoy their cars enough to justify the amount they spend on them.

 

[dorndawg]

Can't help with a lot of your stuff, but two things that are simple and can actually move the needle on big expenses:

1) Develop a love for cooking. Eating out is the easiest thing to blow a meaningful amount of money on. We have been ok as far as avoiding eating out because or my wife, but we were relatively late to the game of treating cooking as an activity. We can go get groceries for what feels like a pretty upscale dinner and it be under $20. This is also a lot healthier and the practice will make it easier to throw together cheap stuff on a random night too.

2) Take pride in frugality on cars. High mileage cars are really reliable now. The mileage on our cars has gone up even as our ability to spend money on cars has gone up. If you are truly a car person and get enjoyment out of a nice car, this probably isn't the best advice, but I am convinced most people don't really enjoy their cars enough to justify the amount they spend on them.

1) is much easier these days to me - eating out simply isn't a good value proposition far too often in last couple years.

 

[horshack.sixpack]

1) is much easier these days to me - eating out simply isn't a good value proposition far too often in last couple years.

It is also incredibly unhealthy, for the most part. If you cook at home a lot, you learn to really distinguish between restaurants that have great food and ones that simply overuse salt for flavor (most of them).

 

[johnson86-1]

1) is much easier these days to me - eating out simply isn't a good value proposition far too often in last couple years.

Yup. Granted it was a different ballgame with small children, so going to be much harder presumably for the OP, but if we want to go our to eat, we will sit at a table and talk and have a couple of drinks, and generally leave feeling tired and sluggish because of how much we've eaten and drank and how unhealthy the food likely was.

If we cook at home, we have some wine or cocktails while we are cooking, we have basically the same conversations we likely would have had but are up on our feet and moving around, we may or may not feel miserable after eating depending on what we cooked. The only downside is cleaning up, but realistically we're done cleaning in the time it would take us to ride home from a lot of restaurants we'd go to.

The main hurdle is just getting ingredients and a plan at an early enough time in the night that we can finish cooking, eating, and cleaning at a reasonable time.

 

[The Peeper]

Myself & Mrs Peeper have always had joint bank and credit accounts, my check and hers go into it and we pay bills from it and then transfer into various savings assets. I know what she spends it on and she knows what I spend it on. We did the Ramsey Financial U at our church years ago and he makes a lot of sense but we didn't buy in to all of it.
Neither of us are very material at all, we have a nice comfortable house but not trying to keep up w/ the Joneses. Every house we've bought has been a fixer upper, usually the smallest and worst one in a really good neighborhood. We have done our own painting of the house and do the yardwork ourselves. I install all ceiling fans, garbage disposals, light fixtures, new faucets, door knobs, doorbells, security system and cameras, etc. I didn't have a clue how to do any of that when we got married but between HGTV, Fixer Upper shows, and YouTube I can do just about all of it now. We've also have done tile and engineered flooring ourselves. We've hired out granite counter tops but installed the cabinets ourselves. We've bought and sold smart and have made really good profits on all the houses we've sold and moved up each time.

We both have clean dependable cars and a work/yard truck but nothing extravagant and haven't had a car payment in about 15 years.

We do Christmas, birthdays, etc for the kids, their spouses, and grandkids but don't spend on each other. We haven't spent anything on an anniversary in years but have always done smart vacations to the beach, Disney, etc If we want something we go buy it but again we aren't very material.

We are about to retire very comfortably, if it weren't for the cost of health insurance I would already be retired and Mrs Peeper in another year or two.

All of that said I firmly believe you both have to be on the same page and of similar beliefs or its hard to make it work, not impossible but hard. My siblings spend money as fast as they make it and they are constantly bickering w/ spouses and/or worrying themselves to death over money. We've done it w/ priorities, frugal purchasing, smart purchasing, and some hard work. Ramsey did say one thing that made some sense to me, he said "live like nobody else today so you can live like nobody else in the future" and we've done that. I took that to mean make some sacrifices early so you don't have to make them in the future and that's worked for us anyway

 

[DerHntr]

Since you’re a CPA, I know that you know this. Tithe through your LLC since you’re likely taking the standardized deduction on your personal taxes.

We save a lot by planning food for the week and we rarely go out for dinner. We also buy meat in bulk and I butcher / vacuum seal for future meals. Food is still our highest expense other than the mortgage. Gasoline is third. I don’t have a gym membership but I’m buying running shoes way too often now. So I built a wooden box for the garage, got a stationary bike for $25 on Facebook, found some dumb bells on Facebook cheap, and have cut back my mileage to buy shoes less often. It’s probably better for me anyway to not just run.

As for the wife, she is in charge of our budget and balancing the checkbook weekly. This helps a lot because she sees the big picture so often. We have a fully funded emergency fund and a secondary fund for vacation, car, Christmas, etc. We budget for all of it.

ETA: whatever you budget for food during a vacation, multiply that by at least 1.5. It cost $75 for my family of 5 to go to a friggin sandwich place last week. Ridiculous. A Mexican restaurant was $130 with tip. Fortunately, we cook a good bit on vacation and take advantage if we are in a hotel with prepaid breakfast.

 

[horshack.sixpack]

Yup. Granted it was a different ballgame with small children, so going to be much harder presumably for the OP, but if we want to go our to eat, we will sit at a table and talk and have a couple of drinks, and generally leave feeling tired and sluggish because of how much we've eaten and drank and how unhealthy the food likely was.

If we cook at home, we have some wine or cocktails while we are cooking, we have basically the same conversations we likely would have had but are up on our feet and moving around, we may or may not feel miserable after eating depending on what we cooked. The only downside is cleaning up, but realistically we're done cleaning in the time it would take us to ride home from a lot of restaurants we'd go to.

The main hurdle is just getting ingredients and a plan at an early enough time in the night that we can finish cooking, eating, and cleaning at a reasonable time.

Kids add complexity for sure.

 

[stateu1]

Since you’re a CPA, I know that you know this. Tithe through your LLC since you’re likely taking the standardized deduction on your personal taxes.

Since he's a CPA, he knows this does not make a difference. Contributions through an LLC flow through to your personal return just the same. Good try though.

 

[Boom Boom]

Yes we moved in May. And then had **** absolutely hit the fan immediately afterward. You spend the money on buying the new house, then Movers cost $2K, then we get into the new house and realize that basically the whole house needs to be repainted (was not evident until the previous owners took everything off the walls and emptied cabinets), so that was another $4K, then we got hit with a major medical emergency in early June that cost after $2,500 after insurance. And it was not one that you just get over quick, it was one that took an emotional toll too, I’ll leave it at that. Then you get in the new house and obviously the wife wants to slowly furnish and decorate, which in a vacuum isn’t bad but it felt like death by a thousand cuts.

Candidly, three months ago I was very content with where we were financially and now I feel like I’m trying not to drown. Also don’t want to be too hard on the wife right now as some of the things in our personal life I referenced earlier have been quite challenging.

I know it’s not always gonna be like this but man when you’re in the middle of it, it’s rough.

Right now, let the wife buy what she wants. Maybe take a stab at steering her away from the priciest stuff, but don't push it. Sacrifice to make up for it later (not now). It's not spending, it's an investment in your marriage.

Do try to avoid filling out the house with stuff a young kid will destroy. I bought the lowest quality TV I've had in a looong time about a year ago, and every day when I tell the toddlers yet again to get their hands off the TV, I don't regret not splurging. The dang thing looks like the glass at a nudie booth.

 

[Shmuley]

The dang thing looks like the glass at a nudie booth.

 

[MSUDC11-2.0]

Since you’re a CPA, I know that you know this. Tithe through your LLC since you’re likely taking the standardized deduction on your personal taxes.

I’m not self employed. It would all work out the same in the end anyway but we do actually itemize, or at least are on the borderline most years and have been over the threshold the last couple of them. Some of that was thanks to my wife giving birth and also our child was an IVF baby so we had some one time medical expenses, but I digress.

 

[DerHntr]

Since he's a CPA, he knows this does not make a difference. Contributions through an LLC flow through to your personal return just the same. Good try though.

I know that as well. There are legitimate ways to make some of it a business expense but of course it won’t likely account for all that you give.

 

[DerHntr]

I’m not self employed. It would all work out the same in the end anyway but we do actually itemize, or at least are on the borderline most years and have been over the threshold the last couple of them. Some of that was thanks to my wife giving birth and also our child was an IVF baby so we had some one time medical expenses, but I digress.

Bless you on the infertility issues. You have absolutely had a lot on your plate.

 

[jethreauxdawg]

Yes we moved in May. And then had **** absolutely hit the fan immediately afterward. You spend the money on buying the new house, then Movers cost $2K, then we get into the new house and realize that basically the whole house needs to be repainted (was not evident until the previous owners took everything off the walls and emptied cabinets), so that was another $4K, then we got hit with a major medical emergency in early June that cost after $2,500 after insurance. And it was not one that you just get over quick, it was one that took an emotional toll too, I’ll leave it at that. Then you get in the new house and obviously the wife wants to slowly furnish and decorate, which in a vacuum isn’t bad but it felt like death by a thousand cuts.

Candidly, three months ago I was very content with where we were financially and now I feel like I’m trying not to drown. Also don’t want to be too hard on the wife right now as some of the things in our personal life I referenced earlier have been quite challenging.

I know it’s not always gonna be like this but man when you’re in the middle of it, it’s rough.

This story hits close to home. It will get better. There was a point a few years ago where I had less spending money than I can remember since I started working. I remember laying in bed being debating where I would get the money from. Not gonna lie, it was incredibly stressful, but it got better. Forced us to make some adjustments. It’s been a few years, and we now have more money than we’ve ever had. Things will get better for you. Lots of good advice in this thread.

 

[The Peeper]

The dang thing looks like the glass at a nudie booth.

 

[DerHntr]

Don’t let your kid play travel ball**