OT - the cost to live comfortably as a single person in every state

[Boom Boom]

I'm probably arguing semantics here, but I would think if you are "comfortable" you should be happy too. I have lived in 4 places over the last 10 or so years. Big city, suburb of same big city, small city, and a remote small town. We have only been truly happy in two of the places. The other two were strictly for career purposes and I will never go back.


Yes if all 4 had been towns of 50,000 scattered throughout the same region/culture /geography (say Mississippi and Tennessee.. Hattiesburg, Tupelo, Jackson TN.. etc) it may not be the case. But the reality is Bend Oregon and Lafayette Louisiana are so completely different even though they are roughly the same size, it's almost guaranteed most people would be much happier in one vs the other.

In a city (1,000,000 + people) you are staring at traffic, high crime, bad public schools, poor air quality, short commutes to great jobs, awesome food options, pro sports, awesome arts/concerts and many other unique pros and cons

In a suburb it's usually moderate congestion, minimal crime, moderate air quality, long commutes, great public schools, chain restaurants out the wahoo, 27 seasons a year of youth sports, and a golf cart to drive around your neighborhood.

The small city (100,000 + people) is a combo of those two.

The small rural town is the true outlier.

All that said, if you take any of those types of places and change the location the culture is completely different. The weather is different. Do you live at the beach, in the mountains, access to outdoor activities, if so what kind?


So yes, in all 4 places we had some level of comfort... Decent/safe home, some disposable income for entertainment, etc. But based on mainly geography, our happiness is 10 fold higher today. If you picked my family up right now and moved us to Atlanta GA or Hattiesburg MS or Plano TX it would be miserable as 17 for us. Literally a prison sentence. That says a lot about us sure, but also the differences in places and the happiness/comfort it affords people with different interests.

Nailed it. Recently visited my sister and her family in the Atlanta burbs for a few days. Great home and neighborhood and schools, 30-60 minute drive to get to the LOCAL soccer game, great restaurants, $2k a year just for one kid to play in a soccer league, all the amenities of Atlanta when desired (which honestly isn't all that often). They'll work till 65 to afford it even with 2 good jobs and a good bit of other money. I'll pass. I'll take the rural area and low cost of living, face to face time with my kids instead of endless activities, etc.

 

[johnson86-1]

I'm probably arguing semantics here, but I would think if you are "comfortable" you should be happy too. I have lived in 4 places over the last 10 or so years. Big city, suburb of same big city, small city, and a remote small town. We have only been truly happy in two of the places. The other two were strictly for career purposes and I will never go back.


Yes if all 4 had been towns of 50,000 scattered throughout the same region/culture /geography (say Mississippi and Tennessee.. Hattiesburg, Tupelo, Jackson TN.. etc) it may not be the case. But the reality is Bend Oregon and Lafayette Louisiana are so completely different even though they are roughly the same size, it's almost guaranteed most people would be much happier in one vs the other.

In a city (1,000,000 + people) you are staring at traffic, high crime, bad public schools, poor air quality, short commutes to great jobs, awesome food options, pro sports, awesome arts/concerts and many other unique pros and cons

In a suburb it's usually moderate congestion, minimal crime, moderate air quality, long commutes, great public schools, chain restaurants out the wahoo, 27 seasons a year of youth sports, and a golf cart to drive around your neighborhood.

The small city (100,000 + people) is a combo of those two.

The small rural town is the true outlier.

All that said, if you take any of those types of places and change the location the culture is completely different. The weather is different. Do you live at the beach, in the mountains, access to outdoor activities, if so what kind?


So yes, in all 4 places we had some level of comfort... Decent/safe home, some disposable income for entertainment, etc. But based on mainly geography, our happiness is 10 fold higher today. If you picked my family up right now and moved us to Atlanta GA or Hattiesburg MS or Plano TX it would be miserable as 17 for us. Literally a prison sentence. That says a lot about us sure, but also the differences in places and the happiness/comfort it affords people with different interests.

I would say happiness is for better or worse not tied very closely to finances once you get to comfortable. My thing is just ideally your geographic location would offer you something you love. If you love golf or hunting or freshwater fishing, you have lots of options. If you love water skiing, a few less but still a good many. If you love the beach or snow skiing, somewhat more limited.

That said, I have lots of friends that live somewhere completely interchangeable with other places that are happy. I could live in those places and generally be fine. But my thing is if you spend all year dreaming about a particular vacation, it probably doesn’t take a massive sacrifice to get somewhere that can be a quarterly or Monthly trip even if you can’t make it where you live.

 

[Maroon Eagle]

I would say happiness is for better or worse not tied very closely to finances once you get to comfortable. My thing is just ideally your geographic location would offer you something you love. If you love golf or hunting or freshwater fishing, you have lots of options. If you love water skiing, a few less but still a good many. If you love the beach or snow skiing, somewhat more limited.

I’d put it this way: It’s possible to be doing pretty good money wise especially in these inflationary times and at the same not be happy here in Mississippi.

I’ve stated before that IDNGAS about outdoor recreational options— many of which you’ve mentioned— whether they’re local to Mississippi or not.

That said, I have lots of friends that live somewhere completely interchangeable with other places that are happy. I could live in those places and generally be fine.

If I were younger, I’d look at major metro areas. Shortly after I got my undergrad degree from State, I lived in the Bay Area (Silicon Valley) making a little money before going back to grad school in Mississippi. I liked the area but the cost of living was just too high.

But my thing is if you spend all year dreaming about a particular vacation, it probably doesn’t take a massive sacrifice to get somewhere that can be a quarterly or Monthly trip even if you can’t make it where you live.

Quarterly trips can be possible if they’re smaller and closer.

Larger trips for me are for the summer. Europe though has been pretty high but maybe I’ll go to Central America sometime.

 

[horshack.sixpack]

You guys claiming you can't live comfortably in Mississippi . Where do yall live ?

Madison area

 

[dudehead]

I haven't read but a bit of this thread but will chime in to say this. We just returned from the Raleigh-Durham NC area and could not get over how nice it is. I thought that NC and other southern states were still somewhat like a more successful MS, but that couldn't be further from the truth. The infrastructure and capital in NC is light years ahead of MS. I better understand now why we are losing our children to these other southern states. I don't know what we do/did wrong and what they do/did right, but it might be worth trying to figure that out and do something before it's too late.

 

[Maroon Eagle]

I haven't read but a bit of this thread but will chime in to say this. We just returned from the Raleigh-Durham NC area and could not get over how nice it is. I thought that NC and other southern states were still somewhat like a more successful MS, but that couldn't be further from the truth. The infrastructure and capital in NC is light years ahead of MS. I better understand now why we are losing our children to these other southern states. I don't know what we do/did wrong and what they do/did right, but it might be worth trying to figure that out and do something before it's too late.

North Carolina is amazing.

It’s on my shortlist of places to go to if and when I ever decide to AFO&U ($1) from Mississippi.

 

[johnson86-1]

I haven't read but a bit of this thread but will chime in to say this. We just returned from the Raleigh-Durham NC area and could not get over how nice it is. I thought that NC and other southern states were still somewhat like a more successful MS, but that couldn't be further from the truth. The infrastructure and capital in NC is light years ahead of MS. I better understand now why we are losing our children to these other southern states. I don't know what we do/did wrong and what they do/did right, but it might be worth trying to figure that out and do something before it's too late.

South Carolina is more like Mississippi. North Carolina seems to have avoided a lot of the southern dysfunctions even though they were in the confederacy. They have a handful of fortune five hundred companies (Bank of America and Duke are homegrown I believe, they've had others open up headquarters there, like Honeywell. You have a good sized city that is fast growing in Charlotte. You have several other good places to live, including uniersity towns and places that revolve around recreation and tourism. I assume there is some appalachia dysfunction in the western part of the state but not sure how much it bleeds into towns/cities you would actually be.