We'll do it the MSU way. We'll name an interim, a 75 year old foot dragging 40 year tenured political science professor that wants that last 4 years of higher pay to pad his PERS account. Every day he'll wear one of the 3 or so maroon blazers he bought at JC Penney when he started teaching 40 years ago with gray knit pants, a short sleeve white shirt, and a maroon/white striped tie. He will wear thick black plastic frame glasses and look over them instead of through them when he looks at you. He'll drive the navy blue 1970 Buick Century he inherited when his dad passed away (like the one the university so graciously gave Jack Cristil) that has a "Maroon Is All That Matters" sticker on the bumper and on the back window EVERY staff parking pass he has every had while he has owned that car. His assistant will be the admin asst that was already working here when he started. He'll reduce the price of faculty/staff athletic tickets for all of his friends. He'll continue to teach a class that he has taught for 40 years, the one he is known for failing almost everyone in. He'll eat in the cafeteria by himself every day for lunch, because that's what he has always done. He'll hire a minimum wage student to do all correspondence for him because he nor his admin asst will use a computer (think Ron Polk) and they can no longer find any IBM Selectric typewriters because Polk has bought them all up. The University will start a real search after 3.5 years, but he'll be a 4 year interim and once he steps down there will be a banquet at the Union to thank him for all of his years of service that only staff his age will actually show up for. They will give him a silver plated cowbell and announce another interim until they find a new President sometime in the future.
HAIL STATE!
