Would you buy your kid a house if….
- Thread starter laKavosiey-st lion
- Start date
Absolutely not. I want my kids to live where they want to live.he said he’d move back east?
Got the whole crew here today and son 1 hinted he’d move back east if we bought him a house. He moved to LA after running around Europe for a few months right after State graduation, been there since. He just graduated from USC masters, has a serious girlfriend (also from back east (state) and they’re both telling me for the first time they’d be open to coming back to Philly. Moms and I are always open to new investments and we’d love to have both sons an hour away.
So would you do it?
no boat if we do it
Everybody is different. I support the hell out of my kids until age 18. At that point, I move into more of an advisor role.
No, and I can't imagine any of my kids ever asking.he said he’d move back east?
Got the whole crew here today and son 1 hinted he’d move back east if we bought him a house. He moved to LA after running around Europe for a few months right after State graduation, been there since. He just graduated from USC masters, has a serious girlfriend (also from back east (state) and they’re both telling me for the first time they’d be open to coming back to Philly. Moms and I are always open to new investments and we’d love to have both sons an hour away.
So would you do it?
no boat if we do it
You and your f n stories. 
I appreciate that. The four of us are like a team. If we die in 20 years and leave them our stuff, they’ll have their own stuff. Right now they could use the help so why not help now?
Well, this thread just got really interesting.You can buy your kid a house or you can buy us a future 1st round draft pick DT...
...the choice is yours.
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$1700 in Echo Park? He must living under someone's steps, like Harry Potter. Regardless, the real estate market in Philly is MUCH more affordable than the one in LA, as is the general cost of living.
Regardless, if my son try to extort me for a house like that, I'd tell him to stay in LA until he grows up.
And that gets to the crux of it - at some point you have to do your estate planning. You need to ensure you and the misses have enough to live on, but past that amount it's all going to their inheritance anyway. Can they grow it faster than you? If so, start transferring it their way. They have both graduated, have jobs, and get the whole responsibility thing so they won't be spoiled. Don't "buy them a house" but do sit down with them (what you do for one you have to do for the other), and explain they are getting their inheritance early if they want it. Put stipulations like they have to max out their 401K, IRA, etc and you will start the transfer. Maybe you don't buy the house, maybe you help with down payment, $1K per month for mortgage, etc. You and the misses are both retired or close to it so talking with an estate planner is a natural next step. Getting your son nearby is something you can't put a price on as you cannot buy time. Good luck.
I most def have a professional keeping me from my money 
I absolutely would do it. I've thought about it myself, although under different circumstances. I like the idea for 2 reasons. First, it gives your kid the help they need, when they need it. Giving them an inheritance when they least need it never makes sense to me. Secondly, having your family close by is important. You can't put a price tag on the joy family brings.
In similar fashion, I encouraged my parents to help with the application process for college. “If you want me to go to college, I am going to need some help with these applications. Only school I am interested in is PSU. You can pick the rest. It would be a shame for twelve years of private school education to go to waste, wouldn’t it mom?”
We’d all share in the costs and investment. 2 is also interested. It’d be like a family compound, mostly funded upfront by us.
How?
to me, it all boils down to what have you done for them, versus what do they want you to do for them. If you’ve paid for school already or helped them in any way, and they’re now out of school, they’re on their own. “I already helped. The well is dry. Figure it out on your own”. There are so many ways to work your way through school, get your degree(s) then start your life debt free.
Our kids are very young, but we have a plan in place. We have a certain amount of money saved for the kids that will continue to grow, and when it is time for them to go to school, their first option is research and get as many grants as possible. After that, we will plan to support in any way that we can with their education. However, we will not be telling them that we will pay for any of this. We want them to understand the value and the necessity of taking out loans, and the corresponding responsibility that comes with that. Our plan initially, will be to have their student loans paid off based on first job, or first promotion. Then it will be a surprise repayment.
However, to your question of purchasing a house… No way. Once we have helped them get the education that they need, they are on their own. Whether that is renting for a time and saving money for a down payment, or having that money ready to go when they graduate. At the end of the day, we have helped you start your life as an adult, once you have started your life as an adult, you are on your own.
I cannot preface all of this enough… To each their own. Everyone parents differently. If you guys are all for buying them a house, or being part of that process, go forth and do great things. However for me and my family, we will not be doing any of that for our kids.
I guess the argument is if you buy your kids lots of stuff, they’ll be lazy unproductive slobs. In our case that hasnt held true. Both boys are extremely hard workers. No student debt, no car payments, a great head start that they’re taking full advantage of. I never thought 1 would leave LA, if getting into some Philly real estate with them gets him back here, it’s a no brainer. And I don’t even want a stupid boat.
Don’t forget PA has an inheritance tax as well. So it could be a tax planning consideration as well. I don’t recall if you ended up moving to DE or not, but something to consider.
I’m living the estate tax dream in downtown Middletown Delaware.
I wouldn’t say they WILL be lazy unproductive slobs, but I think they have a greater chance of being that. It’s all about how you raise ‘em right? If you raise them to be hard working, you can give them everything in the world but they will be inherently hard working.
From your OP to now, sounds like you’ve already made your decision.
/thread
4.5% on transfers to DIRECT descendants! That scale ratchets up from there.
Yep, dealing with that crap as we speak. If you buy in pa make sure you talk to estate planners
Not if East is north of the Carolina Border.he said he’d move back east?
Got the whole crew here today and son 1 hinted he’d move back east if we bought him a house. He moved to LA after running around Europe for a few months right after State graduation, been there since. He just graduated from USC masters, has a serious girlfriend (also from back east (state) and they’re both telling me for the first time they’d be open to coming back to Philly. Moms and I are always open to new investments and we’d love to have both sons an hour away.
So would you do it?
no boat if we do it
Yes, it sucks, and yes I paid it this past year on my father’s estate. He paid taxes on most it when he earned it, then paid taxes on the investment income and THEN his kids had to pay taxes on THAT. Thank you Commonwealth of Pennsylvania!!
Is that a 236? Looks like it.I have a lovely vessel I’m perfectly pleased with BUT, my boss wants to sleep on the boat FFS its slipped 20 minutes from our house
You talk about the boat you own all the time. Now you don’t even want it?
That is an entirely reasonable and good idea. IF the son and partner REALLY BOTH want to move back. They are the ones that have to put some real thought into it. The advantages become more apparent once they have kids. I have no end of various pinch hitting “opportunities” with my grandchildren!
It sounds like you are diligent in thinking through the financial combinations of investment and proportional returns by all parties. This is where the planning and innate strength of the family unit frequently go astray. I have seen no end of family strife involved in distribution of family assets after death or some other dissolution. From my experience, the ugly parts start with spouses (wives) of the brothers, or sometimes sisters. I realize that is not universal, but that has been my observation. (And it hasn’t happened in my family because we are all brothers with well defined distributions, and equal interests.
My outside opinion is that this is a reasonable idea that should be pursued. You seem well prepared to scope all the distributions out in advance. The only tricky part is what does your son’s partner REALLY think?
She wants to come back too but asked if they could be in Brooklyn lolThat is an entirely reasonable and good idea. IF the son and partner REALLY BOTH want to move back. They are the ones that have to put some real thought into it. The advantages become more apparent once they have kids. I have no end of various pinch hitting “opportunities” with my grandchildren!
It sounds like you are diligent in thinking through the financial combinations of investment and proportional returns by all parties. This is where the planning and innate strength of the family unit frequently go astray. I have seen no end of family strife involved in distribution of family assets after death or some other dissolution. From my experience, the ugly parts start with spouses (wives) of the brothers, or sometimes sisters. I realize that is not universal, but that has been my observation. (And it hasn’t happened in my family because we are all brothers with well defined distributions, and equal interests.
My outside opinion is that this is a reasonable idea that should be pursued. You seem well prepared to scope all the distributions out in advance. The only tricky part is what does your son’s partner REALLY think?
As a new Dad, this is the exact goal I have for my boy. Very well said and thank you for sharing.
Apparently just smart enough to play you and Moms for suckers.
If you fall for his ploy, it’s all on you.
#potentialparentingfail
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Who died and made you the world’s foremost expert on parenting?
Benjamin Spock?
I would not buy my kid a house.he said he’d move back east?
Got the whole crew here today and son 1 hinted he’d move back east if we bought him a house. He moved to LA after running around Europe for a few months right after State graduation, been there since. He just graduated from USC masters, has a serious girlfriend (also from back east (state) and they’re both telling me for the first time they’d be open to coming back to Philly. Moms and I are always open to new investments and we’d love to have both sons an hour away.
So would you do it?
no boat if we do it
I would help them with a portion of the down payment, or maybe pay for some needed reno if they bought a fix'er-upper. But no way would I buy them their own home outright.
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