Would you buy your kid a house if….
- Thread starter laKavosiey-st lion
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Our fav right now is the 36 silverton honestly I can’t drive that 54 and she doesn’t like the ladder to the bridge cause Simple Cub
I would take a hard look at it . You shouldn’t have to buy the house , just help with the down payment to get it into a manageable range for them . Make sure you balance it out with your other son . Have to be fair .
Ultimately they’re getting the money , if you can improve the quality of life for both of you it’s a win win situation.
Ultimately they’re getting the money , if you can improve the quality of life for both of you it’s a win win situation.
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At the top of all the lists I've seen of the most tax friendly states for retirees.I’m living the estate tax dream in downtown Middletown Delaware.
Man, do what you feel is best for you and your family.
I gave my Daughter and future SIL $40000 to help with their new house. I vowed that I would never do that because what kind of lesson would that teach them. However, the way the market was crazy during Covid and houses going for a huge premium, I didn't want them buried under a huge mortgage. They are both financially responsible adults so I don't feel guilty. Besides, I can't take it with me. I think you have to judge your own child to see if they are just taking advantage of you or if they just need a helping hand.
It’s your money, you do what you want with it. Don’t listen to the bums on the internet. Do whatever you want with your money.
I understand the way you are leaning on this matter. Like most people, I have had my estate planning set up so that my kids get their $$ when my wife and I pass away. (Although, I have considered tax consequences and have my tax deferred monies delivered to them over 10 years.) As I am cruising towards my 70's, I am starting to think about this differently.
There is probably a reasonable chance that one or both of us live another 20 years. By that time, my kids will be in their 50's. Do I want to wait that long to give them their share (in whatever form), or wouldn't it be better for them to receive some of that money now in their 30's where it can help them and we can see the benefits of doing so?
Finally, I love your line about "I don't even want the stupid boat". You nailed it right there.
You'll never regret giving up a boat to have your kids/grandkids close by. It's a no-brainer.
This is very complicated. First, you have two sons and you may need to read the "Parable of the Prodigal Son" before you proceed.
I would "help" him purchase a house, but he'd have to make the move first and wouldn't know I'd be helping until he was here. What if he comes back for a year or two, sells the house and moves far away again? Would your relationship with him survive?
One more thing, when it comes to children most new mothers want help from their mother. Where is she from?
I wouldn't have to either one of our kids would buy us a home.he said he’d move back east?
Got the whole crew here today and son 1 hinted he’d move back east if we bought him a house. He moved to LA after running around Europe for a few months right after State graduation, been there since. He just graduated from USC masters, has a serious girlfriend (also from back east (state) and they’re both telling me for the first time they’d be open to coming back to Philly. Moms and I are always open to new investments and we’d love to have both sons an hour away.
So would you do it?
no boat if we do it
Sounds like you answered your own question.
time to close the thread
Well we did buy my wife's son a house in the Pensacola area. He worked on a ship and was 1 month on 1 month off. So he worked 6 months out of the year. He married a South African loser who's as lazy as it gets. She whined to the point he quit his job, sold his house (wife got her investment back), moved to Tennessee, bought a used 25 foot trailer and has been living in it for 11 months. They have two kids, so four people in a trailer. He started his own business as a house inspector to which he has no experience in at all. He's asked his mother, aunt, uncle and grandfather for money to open some wacky business (exotic mushroom farmer) and a home. All have said no. They also home school their kids and refuse to get them vaccinated. Now these are two high school grads who are as bright as a 40 watt bulb teaching home schooling. My wife worked in healthcare for over thirty years so the vaccination thing is not going well and she worked to elect school board members in her community. NO HOUSE BUYING FOR HIM AGAIN.
Her daughter is a Major in the army along with a soon to be major husband. They are moving to Hawaii for four years. He wants to buy a home at the minimum of 1 million dollars with nothing down. Yes they will get two BSA funds but will likely not stay there for more than 4 years. He says they can rent it once they leave Hawaii. Now their mortgage will be around $6000 if not more. Can't believe they could get over $6000 for rent. He also doesn't know which end of a screwdriver to use, not good for a landlord in my opinion. We can't seem to get through his head that that is not a good investment. NO WE WILL NOT BE BUYING THEM A HOME.
My son is renting in Oregon working for Intel with no plan on buying right away. HE's the only smart one of the three.
Her daughter is a Major in the army along with a soon to be major husband. They are moving to Hawaii for four years. He wants to buy a home at the minimum of 1 million dollars with nothing down. Yes they will get two BSA funds but will likely not stay there for more than 4 years. He says they can rent it once they leave Hawaii. Now their mortgage will be around $6000 if not more. Can't believe they could get over $6000 for rent. He also doesn't know which end of a screwdriver to use, not good for a landlord in my opinion. We can't seem to get through his head that that is not a good investment. NO WE WILL NOT BE BUYING THEM A HOME.
My son is renting in Oregon working for Intel with no plan on buying right away. HE's the only smart one of the three.
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I’m closer to being the kid than the parent in this deal. Although I do have a son who turns 2 in a few months.
Got a divorce from my ex last year. Live just outside Nashville and we had built a custom house not 2 years before she left. Housing is wild here and I didn’t want to continually rent for years moving complexes every year when rent jumped. So, my parents gave me a pretty penny to buy her out so that my son and I, and the 2 dogs, could stay in the house. Her mortgage is now 50% more than what mine is, and I have a great house for my son with a yard for him and the dogs.
I always knew I had amazing parents but they instantly told me to buy her out in the divorce to keep the house, and that they’d give me whatever they could to make that happen. Absolutely amazing parents who have always set me up for success and did it for me again in my 30s. As someone said earlier in the thread, their point was that they’d rather give it to me now when I needed it and they could see it go to use than when they’re 80 and I’m 55 and don’t need it as much. Great motivation for me to make sure I can offer the same to my boy if that situation ever arises.
Got a divorce from my ex last year. Live just outside Nashville and we had built a custom house not 2 years before she left. Housing is wild here and I didn’t want to continually rent for years moving complexes every year when rent jumped. So, my parents gave me a pretty penny to buy her out so that my son and I, and the 2 dogs, could stay in the house. Her mortgage is now 50% more than what mine is, and I have a great house for my son with a yard for him and the dogs.
I always knew I had amazing parents but they instantly told me to buy her out in the divorce to keep the house, and that they’d give me whatever they could to make that happen. Absolutely amazing parents who have always set me up for success and did it for me again in my 30s. As someone said earlier in the thread, their point was that they’d rather give it to me now when I needed it and they could see it go to use than when they’re 80 and I’m 55 and don’t need it as much. Great motivation for me to make sure I can offer the same to my boy if that situation ever arises.
The other consideration is that if you need a nursing home or something similar that assets like a house count against it, and the proceeds from a sale can be confiscated by the government as reimbursement for costs, so there is a big incentive to get as much turned over as possible. I think the rule is at least five years have to have passed since assets are signed over or the government can still go after them. My parents and a lot of their senior neighbors signed almost everything over years ago because of this.
This will be the best thread of late 2022. Our Op.....a great dude as we've all known for years, has made us open our minds to our own situation...mortality...net worth. I for one don't think that any any of these responses were bad. It's perspective. I for one am thankful for these types of threads that make us think and reflect. Good luck Sir!
If you're in that situation it means you're trying to get Medicaid to cover nursing home/long-term care costs and you're trying to "zero" out your wealth. If your finances can handle buying houses for kids and boats, it likely means you have a social security check that will be too large and will exclude you from any Medicaid benefits in most states.... and yes there is a five-year look-back period.
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I think there is a huge difference between helping your kids struggling financially or sharing your excesses while you are alive instead of waiting to inherit wealth, and your kids extorting you in order to get them to move back close to home.
Exactly. I can't imagine a hard-working, proud, successful young man with advanced degrees and no debt trying to milk a house out of his dad.
I moved away from home due to school, and then the job market for what I, and my future wife (then serious, live-in girlfriend) were doing was just far more lucrative (and existent) around where I went to school, that a move back home just wasn't possible, unless both of us just completely gave up on our careers and did something far less challenging and satisfying (and financially stable). So, we stayed, and parts of it have sucked, due to the distance, and being on our own ... and the 'rents have always said that we should move back home and all that .. but never would I ever have thought to say "I'll move back home if you buy me a house." That's embarrassing.
My kid is a few years away from college, but he'll likely have opportunities that could take him far away from us. And that'll suck (for us, not for him). But if I want to try to nudge him back home after his schooling by buying an investment property, and saying he could live there, and work out some deal where he pays something toward an ownership interest in lieu of rent, then that's on me, and if he comes back, he comes back ... if he doesn't, then I have still have that property. But if he, having no debt and advanced degrees in lucrative fields, asks before I offer, then that dude can stay wherever he is until he gets his head on straight, no matter how much I love and miss him.
Buy him this.350 sq feet. Otherwise No. the kid just got back from Europe. Lol. High maintenance? Sounds like a relative of mine. He is in his 60’s and still trying to get stuff and he is a freaking grandfather now. Invest in a house or condo in north Myrtle
or fl and rent it out if you want. Everyone I know down here loves their boat. They love it more when they sell it.
or fl and rent it out if you want. Everyone I know down here loves their boat. They love it more when they sell it.
You gotta believe me my son wasn’t asking me to buy him and 2 a house, he was suggesting a partnership, which moms and I would carry the bulk initially.
I look at it like this, my big brother graduated from F&M and in 1986, he moved to San Diego. I S you not, I’ve seen him 20 times in 40 years. Def don’t want that to happen with my son.
I look at it like this, my big brother graduated from F&M and in 1986, he moved to San Diego. I S you not, I’ve seen him 20 times in 40 years. Def don’t want that to happen with my son.
I have a son in San Diego living with his lady who’s from out there. A different situation but he is addicted to the weather, surfing and the like. I’d never pay to bring him back. He’s making a very nice income thanks to his PS Engineering degrees and his mastershe said he’d move back east?
Got the whole crew here today and son 1 hinted he’d move back east if we bought him a house. He moved to LA after running around Europe for a few months right after State graduation, been there since. He just graduated from USC masters, has a serious girlfriend (also from back east (state) and they’re both telling me for the first time they’d be open to coming back to Philly. Moms and I are always open to new investments and we’d love to have both sons an hour away.
So would you do it?
no boat if we do it
I think that you are being gamed by your son.
Yeah, i have a bunch of cousins within an hour drive. See them at funerals, and not much else. It’s not the distance… it’s the “want to”
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He is part of your family. Handle as you will in the best interest of your family. Seems reasonable to me. Doubt he would have dropped the hint or ask if it was impossible or out of the question. As someone mentioned above, consult an estate planner. all the best and a happy New Year.he said he’d move back east?
Got the whole crew here today and son 1 hinted he’d move back east if we bought him a house. He moved to LA after running around Europe for a few months right after State graduation, been there since. He just graduated from USC masters, has a serious girlfriend (also from back east (state) and they’re both telling me for the first time they’d be open to coming back to Philly. Moms and I are always open to new investments and we’d love to have both sons an hour away.
So would you do it?
no boat if we do it
You might want to try what I worked out with my in laws years ago. They inherited my wife's grandmother's house. They sold it to us at a discount. It gave them additional retirement income as they held the deed on the house. We made monthly mortgage payments to them, we could write off the interest and they got additional retirement monthly income. They had it put in their will the house would go to us free and clear if they were both deceased. This would give you additional income, teach him about budgeting and getting equity in a house. Something to think about. Plus my in laws always said if we need to skip a payment due to unforseen problems (large car repair bill etc) we could skip a month. Nice having that option you don't get with banks.
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